How to 'get out more'. Go to pub alone?

Hey all.
I live in Stoke and bought a house here in 2013, but I am now working 40 miles away. I am not originally from Stoke.
Obviously this means people I meet socially need to be outside of work. I'm fine outside of work but in work I can get a tad grumpy, so not interested in socialising with colleagues.

I've got a very close friend who lives just a few doors down (both have mx5s and met that way) and get along very well.
We speak most days and go out frequently - Out for tea (dinner to posher Southerners!), cinema, shopping etc.
Others are people I used to work with I meet now and then and a few uni mates I meet 1-2 times per year.
My closest university friends were international students so a meet up one weekend is not possible.
So I want to get out more to meet new people. Ladies also (used online dating, with mixed success over last 6 months).

What I am doing to get myself out there:
- I go to the odd car show locally
- I go the gym (1 mile away) 4-5 times per week and chat to a lot of people there.
I've gained a lot of confidence over the last 18 months as I have slowly lost weight and put on some muscle, which is helping a lot.
I'd say I am not a social person and whilst undiagnosed am a bit anxious and often avoid social situations!

Thinking of going to the pub. I have tried it twice but found it hard to strike up conversation - Drink a pint or two on my own then leave even though I am sat at the bar. Should I keep at it?
Note: This is NOT a woe-is-me thread! Just looking for pointers and ideas.


TLDR: Would you go to the pub alone?

I wouldn't. I don't even like being the first one there and waiting...

Not one for going to the pub alone - also kind of hit and miss if its a good way to meet people or not - my local has a few people who are happy to strike up conversation with regulars/new people whereas the next nearest one people tend to keep much more to themselves and go in groups not interested in talking to anyone else.

Doesn't your friend host any social events? Does he go to the pub? Its going to be much less awkward if you try and borrow some of his friends.

new boy said:

Doesn't your friend host any social events? Does he go to the pub? Its going to be much less awkward if you try and borrow some of his friends.

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Nope said friend leads a very quiet life, in fact more so than me.
Not really a drinker or socialiser!

OP sounds like me, I wouldn't dream of going the pub alone. I have done for a emergency curer, but just one and am off.

Who needs pubs and socializing when you got us OCUK forums, never alone pull up a chair and crack one with me!

OpenToSuggestions said:

TLDR: Would you go to the pub alone?

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I done this a lot.....And I still don't like it...

With me being 45 now, just about all my best mates are married with kids and very rarely want to go out pubbing...

I go to the pub on my own all the time, I don't really like my friends, they are so boring and all smoke weed continuously. So I made the brave jump to the pub once and I much prefer it haha

Only go to a pub alone if I'm a regular and know the other regulars.

itchy said:

OP sounds like me, I wouldn't dream of going the pub alone. I have done for a emergency curer, but just one and am off.

Who needs pubs and socializing when you got us OCUK forums, never alone pull up a chair and crack one with me!

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OcUK forums are something I really enjoy. Retro gaming too!
Not exactly going to get me any ladies or friends though is it .

I've been in my home just over 2 years now. I have had a really bad job that screwed with my head. I left there 7 months ago and have been dating and am generally much happier!
My mortgage rates have dropped and I am worrying less and less about money .

I browse social media (I hate it - Why do I do it then?!) and it somehow makes me want to get out more and meet people.

Not that I've been in this boat for years but no I wouldn't. I think maybe if you want to meet people then join some clubs etc. I go jogging most mornings where I live and it's mainly women we all go in a big group only half of them have partners the rest quite clearly want them. So stuff like that. Maybe take a martial art - plenty of single women where I go. And music/art groups stuff like that.

robfosters said:

Only go to a pub alone if I'm a regular and know the other regulars.

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Same, I mostly go on my own, but meet my pals down our local or whatever, I know pretty much everyone in there.

savagesam117 said:

I go to the pub on my own all the time, I don't really like my friends, they are so boring and all smoke weed continuously.

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That choice of words is mildly amusing

Xordium said:

Not that I've been in this boat for years but no I wouldn't. I think maybe if you want to meet people then join some clubs etc. I go jogging most mornings where I live and it's mainly women we all go in a big group only half of them have partners the rest quite clearly want them. So stuff like that. Maybe take a martial art - plenty of single women where I go. And music/art groups stuff like that.

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A club could work.
Sports.....well I walk into tables and door frames. I have absolutely no co-ordination! I am tall but around 8 inches (giggety) from touching my toes and am as inflexible as a man can get. I found the gym is a good middle ground. Take out the anger of the day on some dumbells!

Jogging may work. There is an animal rescue centre a few miles up the road that could be good too.

I went to a pub on my own once. Sat down with a couple of girls, one was really nice - if I hadn't left the area she would have at least been a friend. Worth rolling the dice occasionally, what's the worst that can happen?

https://www.oasis.com/

Its a very good site and free, no bull just people like yourself.

Get your kite up and your area, you be dating the females in no time!

I have met all my girlfriends over the years in Clubs , I'd never go to a Pub on my own that's a no no , I say go to a club , one with the people around your age, everyone is out to talk in these places , also two of my girlfriends I met over the years have been outside the kebab shop at the end of the night haha, funny old world hey.

You are only 39 posts away from being able to claim your free friend from the OCUK store which is only just down the way!

If you are enjoying the gym then perhaps pick up a martial art? You can join on your own and it is a good way to make friends.

If I was going down the pub it would be with some change to play a few frames on the pool table when it is quiet. If you start playing you will normally quickly get challenged which also starts up conversation.

Suggest an OCUK meet in stoke and see what other locals are around that come and meet up?

The martial arts thing was the best way I found to meet people... I have also been a member of local politics, climbing clubs, squash clubs, played pool... finding anything else you can go and join will give you a social outlet and give common ground to find friends.

Thanks for the posts so far! Some encouraging stuff!

I will definitely check Oasis. I am single but this thread was to look for friends (seen more women this year than my entire life before) so whilst not loaded with ladies, I am just pleased I am progressing!

I'm not into night clubs. The stupid prices, the inch of urine in the toilets and bog troll trying to sell you a spray of aftershave, the chavvy women, the 40 year old mutton dressed as lamb. Really not my scene. At age 27 I am happy with going to them for the work Xmas party and perhaps once in the summer.
Whilst I very rarely do it, getting hammered at a bar/pub is more my thing.

You need to find an excuse to get out the house to do something that involves you meeting new people. You must have some interests? What are they?