Preparing for Fatherhood

I bought this:

http://www.mothercare.com/Mothercare-Xpedior-Four-Wheel-Base-Pack--Black/634230,default,pd.html

Yep its £100 for the pram and the car seat... you can also put the car seat on the base. Really happy with it, I don't think people believe me when I say it was £100...

Unfortunately not in stock online anymore as it was clearance, but maybe check your local to see if they have any in stock.

We did look at the stupidly expensive ones too, but we didn't see the point. Soooo the point of this post is please don't buy a stupidly expensive pram!

Also little tip for you which should still work (haven't done it for about 6 months)

Mothercare price match online retailers, and the only requirement is that it is in stock. We have saved quite a lot over the last four years with this knowledge. Found the items we want on the dodgiest of websites, which I would never put my bank account details into for fear of having my identity stolen. Get Mothercare to price match and bobs your uncle.

They also retrospectively price match for something like 14 or 28 days. So buy an item from Mothercare. Then you find it cheaper online several days later. Pop back into Mothercare and get the difference back.

We managed to get our quinny buggy reduced from something like £350 to £200. Our car seat reduced from £320 to £180 I think it was and a bunch of other stuff reduced.

Still a big fan of a decent quality all-in-one pram/buggy/car seat arrangement and a cheap throwaway stroller for the boot of the car when they are a bit older.

Cheaper for a start.... they won't be in them long.

Second hand market is buzzing for baby kit too for that very reason.

We picked up stair gates at a baby fair for £5 each for example.

Outside of the obvious (clothes, nappy changing, sleeping & travel arrangements) don't get hung up on being "prepared" most of it just comes naturally (this is coming from someone who had absolutely no experience with babies).

A couple of things I would suggest though:
- Don't bother with a fancy moses basket, if your experience is anything like mine I used it for a month or two.
- Buy a buggy with bigger inflatable wheels; having little wheels sucks when you want to go to the park etc. as I experience before buying the (awesome) out and about nipper.

Good luck.

Regarding the talk about whether an ear thermometer is a good call, it certainly is.

Yes you might not need it to tell they have a temp, but it certainly helps too know if what you are doing is helping the situation. Calpol, cool flannel, stripping them off, cool bath etc. It really helps to know they are having a positive effect or not.

Another tip:

Get used to going the toilet with the door open, you'll soon realise that you have zero privacy and sometimes you can sit there pooing with the little one sat on your knee

coupe69 said:

Try having twins. Getting an hour of uninterrupted sleep is a bonus

Congrats to the OP by the way. We had our 2 just six weeks ago and they're doing just great!

The only thing I can completely recommend is the Tommee Tippee perfect prep machine, it's been an absolute lifesaver for us.

Our two little darlings.....

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You can tell parents of twins when the first thing they ask other parents of twins is "How are you coping?"

Join the club mate, my twin boys Alex and Lewis are 4 months old now. Haven't had more than 5 hours sleep a night since 22nd Dec when they were born!

My two mini squires...

AHarvey said:

that's just it, no two kids are the same and everyone's experience differs, hence me always telling people to do what works for them

Both of my kids have always been really easy to settle even if they do get up to a scream but it's rare it gets past crying, and both have been raised in a house with noise, they can sleep through you hoovering the house

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Totally agree everyone does things differently and trying to compare is just setting yourself up for pain, someone else's kid is always better at something you wish your kid was good at but remember just because your little on didn't walk at 10 months and talk sentences at 12 doesn't mean anything!

With ours it's all about timing if he is properly asleep you can wander round his room or vacuum the landing but if he is in a light sleep phase flush the loo and he's fully alert!

AHarvey said:

Regarding the talk about whether an ear thermometer is a good call, it certainly is.

Yes you might not need it to tell they have a temp, but it certainly helps too know if what you are doing is helping the situation. Calpol, cool flannel, stripping them off, cool bath etc. It really helps to know they are having a positive effect or not.

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See that all depends on if you agree that lowering the temperature is a good thing, we try to avoid treating the temperature as it is the bodies natural defence. I try and go by how he is not the number on the thermometer it's pretty easy to tell how unwell he is but as has been said everyone does things differently!

subbytna said:

You can tell parents of twins when the first thing they ask other parents of twins is "How are you coping?"

Join the club mate, my twin boys Alex and Lewis are 4 months old now. Haven't had more than 5 hours sleep a night since 22nd Dec when they were born!

My two mini squires...

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Hey mate, only just seen your reply. Congrats on the twins!! Would I be right in thinking they're identical? Look pretty much the same?

So...you're 4 months in and still only 5 hours max...hmmm, not really what I wanted to hear, but hey ho. To be fair the wife has them after about half one at night so I can get some sleep for work. She's got nigh on a year off work so she can always try and catch up on sleep in the day although she's finding that especially hard.

Any tips are more than welcome

Executive Beef said:

...and muslin squares. Many, many, many muslin squares.

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This you will through like no tomorrow but they are a life saver for all those moments of burping cleaning up sick etc...

Also pro tip as much as all dads like to lift the kids up above then while lying down and making faces etc.. try to not do it at an angle as when they smile at you its a 50/50 chance they are going to hurl, having had my daughter sick up right in to my open mouth while making funny noises at her i can safely say it was not a nice experience|

coupe69 said:

Hey mate, only just seen your reply. Congrats on the twins!! Would I be right in thinking they're identical? Look pretty much the same?

So...you're 4 months in and still only 5 hours max...hmmm, not really what I wanted to hear, but hey ho. To be fair the wife has them after about half one at night so I can get some sleep for work. She's got nigh on a year off work so she can always try and catch up on sleep in the day although she's finding that especially hard.

Any tips are more than welcome

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Yep identical boys, Alex and Lewis.

It's the interrupted sleep that's the main thing. With my two they tag team me and the wife. One sleep while one doesn't, one eats(drinks milk) the other one doesn't want to. The best word I can use to describe having twins is...Relentless!

The 5 hours sleep is 90 mins here and there all night. You won't get 5 hours unbroken sleep for a while. Your wife might find it hard to keep going with your current setup. Very very hard to keep both babies going by yourself. My wife and I take one boy each night and swap each night so the boys don't get familiar with only one parent.

Get a routine going. Get bathtime EVERY NIGHT going. Water warmer than usual as it'll tire them out more and they will sleep easier...for a few hours anyway.

Stock up on gripe water and use it liberally. Don't be shy using it. It's not medicine per se so don't worry about giving it to them...2.5ml to start with. Infacol is also good for wind.

Strap yourself in mate, yo'ure in for a ride you've no idea just how mental it is lol

One bib wash for twins lol...over 30

I have the greatest admiration for anyone with twins. Getting enough rest with one is hard enough!

Did you guys really want kids before you had them? I don't really have any desire to.

I guess I might one day, but I'm a bit, well, for starters... selfish with my time/sleep at the moment.

Both of our children nearly caused a divorce.

I wanted kids when I was younger, then as I started to earn a semi-decent wage and I wanted to enjoy my adult life because I lost half of my childhood to my parent's divorce, emotional blackmail, suicide attempts and all the other BS I had to deal with. Add on to that depression, I was selfish and didn't want to screw kids up like I had been screwed up.

My wife wanted 3 kids, I didn't want any. It got to a point where it was try or divorce, I caved and we tried. It was that bad that I actually disliked sex because I knew what it could lead too.

For the first 6 months of my daughter's life I struggled to get a real bond, she was amazing but I just couldn't feel anything. Similar story with my son. My daughter is 5 next Halloween, my son turned 1 in March. Despite loving them more than anything now, I still feel guilt over how I felt before my daughter was born, less so with my son because I bonded faster with him.

Yeah, I still miss those lie in's, I miss those Sundays when we used to get up at 11am and crash on the sofa all day. I miss being able to go out at midnight for a McDonalds or popping out with spending 10 mins packing stuff.

Would I change it? Rarely. My kids mean the world to me, I work my backside off for them but always put Dad time first. Doing a 20-mile journey with the smell of half digested Haribo like I had to on Sunday, those are the days I think back

When I come in from work and my son crawls over to me, puts his arms up and then buries his head in my neck for a cuddle, or when my daughter comes over and tells me she loves me and I am the best daddy in the entire world. Those are the moments that matter in life. Not how much money you make, where you go on holiday or what car you drive. Those are the memories that I'll be thinking of in my last moments and I wouldn't change it.

I became a first time father yesterday.

My wife had a failed induction and ended up having a c-section.

I was dressed in scrubs in theatre with her.

It was a miracle to see what was done.

She was born at 12.58pm and weighed 7lbs 2oz.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxEt_xuIV4GcX1ItOFB1ejRZQzA/view?usp=sharing

sigma said:

Did you guys really want kids before you had them? I don't really have any desire to.

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Yes

!bluetonic! said:

I became a first time father yesterday.

My wife had a failed induction and ended up having a c-section.

I was dressed in scrubs in theatre with her.

It was a miracle to see what was done.

She was born at 12.58pm and weighed 7lbs 2oz.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxEt_xuIV4GcX1ItOFB1ejRZQzA/view?usp=sharing

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Nice one Did you ask for the veil to be dropped when the moment came?

Congrats!

My brain must be wired wrong because all babies look the same to me and each time I see one it reminds me of how I need to avoid having any!

sigma said:

Did you guys really want kids before you had them? I don't really have any desire to.

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It was always something that I thought I'd do one day but, truthfully, I don't think I would be a parent if it wasn't for my partner really wanting a child. I consider myself pretty selfish too.

I have literally no idea what I did with all of my free time before becoming a parent. If I have an hour to myself now, I cherish it and try to do something productive with it. The same with money. My wife is still on parental leave so we're a one income family at the moment. We're doing just fine thanks to savings but I don't have the vast disposable income that I used to. Not having much of a social life has helped save some money, and our holidays aren't as exotic as they once were, but I still wonder how I used to blow the money that I did.

I've found being a parent to be a wild rollercoaster. There's been incredible highs and some pretty terrible lows, especially in first few months. It's hard work but rewarding. It's hard to say 'go for it!' or 'don't bother' as everyone is different. I feel like I've learnt a lot and I'm a better person for being a parent though.