The 'Bad Dad Joke' thread....

DHR · 22 Jun 2016 at 23:30

Love them or hate them, we've all heard them. What's your best bad dad joke? Leading by example....

I told your mum she drew her eyebrows too high, she looked surprised.

:rolleyes:

hughtrimble · 22 Jun 2016 at 23:47

Q: Shall I put the kettle on?

A: No, it wouldn't suit you.

ElliorR · 22 Jun 2016 at 23:48

Why die Tie Rack have to close down? Because Saddam Hussein sued them over copyright infringement.

[FnG]magnolia · 22 Jun 2016 at 23:52

Three Latvian are brag about sons.

“My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian.

“Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!”

Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.”

“Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

Macca · 23 Jun 2016 at 00:32

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

datalol-jack · 23 Jun 2016 at 00:41

Ayn Rand, Satan and a zebra walk into a bar...

Rand: Man, zebra, you're just so perfectly beyond good and evil, I can't put a finger on you.
Zebra: I just don't like taking sides, tis all.
Satan: Hang on.
Satan: Barkeep! Absinthe for Rand and a slap for zebra!

*grabs coat*

robfosters · 23 Jun 2016 at 00:44

We've been married 30 years, the great train robbers didn't even get that.

Sankari · 23 Jun 2016 at 00:45

Sankari · 23 Jun 2016 at 00:46

Sankari · 23 Jun 2016 at 00:46

Sankari · 23 Jun 2016 at 00:48

Scam · 23 Jun 2016 at 07:29

Coral? Er..

Closing · 23 Jun 2016 at 07:35

Moar walking dead jokes!!!

Sankari · 23 Jun 2016 at 07:40

Scam said:
Coral? Er..

It's how Rick pronounces his name.

Many Internet users have mocked the many instances Grimes has pronounced the name “Carl” as “Coral.”

On April 15th, 2014, the pop culture blog Wet Paint published an article on The Walking Dead, which listed “Coral!” as a glossary term for when Grimes yells his sons name repeatedly.

On May 3rd, Tumblr user carlsburnbook posted a photoshopped promotional image for the 2003 animated film Finding Nemo Rick and Carl Grimes superimposed in the frame and the title “Finding Coral” (shown below).

MooMoo444 · 23 Jun 2016 at 09:45

[FnG]magnolia;29668370 said:
Three Latvian are brag about sons.

“My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian.

“Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!”

Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.”

“Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

Marky · 23 Jun 2016 at 10:11

I phoned the gym and asked them if they could teach me how to do the splits...

They said "How flexible are you?", I said, "Well, I can't do Thursdays".

Six6siX · 23 Jun 2016 at 10:23

The classic:

Kid: Dad, I'm hungry!

Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad!

snips86x · 23 Jun 2016 at 10:26

Evangelion said:

dirtybeatfreak · 23 Jun 2016 at 10:29

[FnG]magnolia;29668370 said:
Three Latvian are brag about sons.

“My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian.

“Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!”

Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.”

“Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are feel sad.

I am probably being really thick, but I don't get it

Relentless81 · 23 Jun 2016 at 10:32

A clown held the door for me just now

I thought it was a nice gesture