A friend and the cat.

Associate
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Hi all,

I've got a bit of a dilemma with a friend ( possibly ex) about my wifes cat.

Back story...

When I met my wife she had 2 cats, they where not allowed in the bedroom and the male always wanted to go out at night, the female was content to sleep inside (the male has since died of old age). When we had our son, she lost interest in them.
We moved to a bigger house, we go a very nice sofa and the cat kept wee'ing over the front mat. Cat wee has a strong smell. Since then my wife has insisted that the cat lives out side or in the kitchen.

Now the dilemma.
A friend of mine is insisting that we let the cat inside, call us quote "you are the one who has absolutely no respect for the life of an animal" and tell me that we are treating the cat badly and he will call the RSPCA. I dont let my wife see the messages as I would like to try and keep him as a friend, we went to their wedding, our sons are the same age. I even offered him the cat & £10 pw till she dies but he can't because of his cat.

Personally I would let the cat in, but as we don't want it on the sofa or upstairs the only room available is the kitchen. (I think she feels a bit guilty about it)

How can I keep him as a friend but politely tell him to mind his own business?

Many thanks for reading.
 
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Man of Honour
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Tell him to **** off.

Is the cat living in the kitchen? Or have you just taken it from being a house cat and turfed it into the garden?
 
Soldato
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^^ If he was a real mate he'd take that.


Or have the cat in the kitchen problem solved it's not going to urinate on the sofa and mate can move on.

To be fair it seems only fair to allow it in during winter months.

There were some good pads that pretty much nullified the smell/absorbed it I'll try and find the name.

If the cats urinating on the mat it's not likely it's going to change and go to the sofa. Most cats seem to find a place and stick to it not just where ever they feel like it.
 
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Soldato
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Calling the RSPCA is a pretty OTT reaction but i think its also cruel to not let the cat in or just keep it in the kitchen.

Have you tried replacing the matt with a new one?

My cat has a 'favourite' and so we put a blanket over where he tends to nap and just pick him up off the other ones. Didn't take long before he stopped going on the other sofas.
 
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Soldato
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tell him to call the RSPCA, they won't do a thing! how do you think stray cats live? in their own little stray cat home? no. my mate had a cat that was a nightmare in the house so they kept it outside and it lived into it's 20's. as long as it has warm shelter it'll be fine.

B@
 
Soldato
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It's not really fair to keep a Cat in a single room or outside, you got the Cat and you're responsible for it's well-being. Not sure why your wife decided to get Cats since she clearly doesn't give a **** about them
 
Soldato
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The thing is, if the cat lived outside most of its life, it would be fine. Since it grew up in doors and now is an oldie, its pretty cruel to confine it to the outside or just one room.
 
Associate
OP
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Cats where a substitute for kids.

What I though was below the belt when my "friend" said we we where bad parents. As if a child and a cat are the same.
 
Caporegime
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When I met my wife she had 2 cats, they where not allowed in the bedroom and the male always wanted to go out at night, the female was content to sleep inside (the male has since died of old age). When we had our son, she lost interest in them.

I hate this attitude of some pet owners. They are people's "little babies" until a real baby comes along and then they are ignored and dumped.

He should mind his own business, but your wife should take responsibility. A pet is for life and not just for Christmas and all that.

Edit - Unless the pet is a genuine danger to the children, of course.
 
Soldato
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Well, given your wifes views and lack of interest, I would say she is a bad pet owner. I dont think you can extend that to bad parents, unless your view on your kids are as fickle as the view on your cats.

Does it have a cat flap?

If it can go out freely, likely it will mark territory outside the house instead.
 
Associate
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The cat will have been doing that for two reasons

- The cat thinks it is it's house and is showing you that
- The cat is stressed

There is a 3rd and that is that your cat is a ****

I have two bengals, one of them, the one that always wants cuddles and is needy is the one that wees around the house. She wee's on my girlfriends shoes as she likes me more and sees my girlfriend as another female that gets more attention.

You may think that I am mad but after accepting some of these behaviours we have managed to turn it round and she is pretty good these days.

Get a felliway, that will calm the cat down too.
 
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VincentHana

I agree that she should man up & sort something out.


Mynight
Yes.

Avenged7fold
No. might get one.
 
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Soldato
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Does the cat belong to both of you or just the missus?

If it belongs to both of you, i would just put your foot down and try and accommodate the cat until you can find a new owner. Felliway stuff might work as suggested, or a catflap if you dont have one. Maybe even remove the mat completely and see if it continues.

Maybe even try a change of litter type.
 
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