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Old 14th Oct 2013, 02:56   #1
[FnG]magnolia
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How to find lost phone?

Hello internet users.

If my wife lost her work phone - some Blackberry thing - is there a clever way to find out where it might be? It's ringing out when we call it, she just doesn't know where she left it.

Anything to be done? Thanks in advance.

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 02:59   #2
Milkybk
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This is without a doubt the most normal thread you've ever started.

Well, if you do actually have a wife. Otherwise it's relatively normal.

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Ahhh Austria. The land that prefers Daddies sauce to Heinz.
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 03:07   #3
arknor
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One would habitually endeavour to retrace ones gait.

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 03:08   #4
davido_labido
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Urm.... Surely you keep tabs on your wife at all times using the gps that's built into the phone? So you can just use that to find it?

If not put the real magnolia back on, imposter.


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Old 14th Oct 2013, 03:19   #5
Unicorn
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Magnolia.. Something is wrong with this thread and i don't believe im drunk :')


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Old 14th Oct 2013, 03:23   #6
arknor
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Originally Posted by GrimsbyLAD View Post
Magnolia.. Something is wrong with this thread and i don't believe im drunk :')
The phone is a fabrication of his rampant imagination

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 04:41   #7
Sliver
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If you had installed the Lookout app, you could have traced the phones location.

https://www.lookout.com/

But I guess you didn't, so that's a bummer.

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 04:57   #8
Maccapacca
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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Up got Jack, and home did trot As fast as he could caper
He went to bed and bound his head
With vinegar and brown paper

The imagery of Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty was a colloquial term used in fifteenth century England describing someone who was obese. This has given rise to various, but inaccurate, theories surrounding the identity of Humpty Dumpty. The image of Humpty Dumpty was made famous by the illustrations included in the 'Alice through the looking glass' novel by Lewis Carroll. However, Humpty Dumpty was not a person pilloried in the famous rhyme!

The History and Origins of the Rhyme
Humpty Dumpty was in fact believed to be a large cannon! It was used during the English Civil War (1642 - 1649) in the Siege of Colchester (13 Jun 1648 - 27 Aug 1648). Colchester was strongly fortified by the Royalists and was laid to siege by the Parliamentarians (Roundheads). In 1648 the town of Colchester was a walled town with a castle and several churches and was protected by the city wall. Standing immediately adjacent the city wall, was St Mary's Church. A huge cannon, colloquially called Humpty Dumpty, was strategically placed on the wall next to St Mary's Church. The historical events detailing the siege of Colchester are well documented - references to the cannon (Humpty Dumpty) are as follows:




June 15th 1648 - St Mary's Church is fortified and a large cannon is placed on the roof which was fired by ‘One-Eyed Jack Thompson'

July 14th / July 15th 1648 - The Royalist fort within the walls at St Mary's church is blown to pieces and their main cannon battery ( Humpty Dumpty) is destroyed.

August 28th 1648 - The Royalists lay down their arms, open the gates of Colchester and surrender to the Parliamentarians




A shot from a Parliamentary cannon succeeded in damaging the wall beneath Humpty Dumpty which caused the cannon to tumble to the ground. The Royalists, or Cavaliers, 'all the King's men' attempted to raise Humpty Dumpty on to another part of the wall. However, because the cannon , or Humpty Dumpty, was so heavy ' All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty together again!' This had a drastic consequence for the Royalists as the strategically important town of Colchester fell to the Parliamentarians after a siege lasting eleven weeks. Earliest traceable publication 1810.

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 05:14   #9
Malevolence
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She re-traces her footsteps, you ring the phone.


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Old 14th Oct 2013, 05:35   #10
Gogl
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This story reminds me of the boy who cried Magnolly plz.

Constantly defied by the inanimate.
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 05:52   #11
Kouba
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Finding a lost phone? I would watch that movie...


Hakuna Matata - It means no worries...
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 06:18   #12
Narj
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Have you looked in the ASDA car park?

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 06:24   #13
Tom0
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It should be in the kitchen somewhere.


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Old 14th Oct 2013, 06:24   #14
Saundie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [FnG]magnolia View Post
Anything to be done? Thanks in advance.
Yes, divorce her.

The Americans will always do the right thing... after they have exhausted all the alternatives - Sir Winston Churchill
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 06:50   #15
bledd
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Originally Posted by Tom0 View Post
It should be in the kitchen somewhere.
Was going to use this

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 06:54   #16
Cosimo
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She's recycled it.

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 08:25   #17
bitslice
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Have you asked Skippy the Bush Kangeroo yet?
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 08:29   #18
HecFam
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Check in a bush, that's where most blackberries are. HAHAHAH im so bloody funny.

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 08:30   #19
d_brennen
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You let a woman earn money AND posses a telephone? Please tell me you have a better handle on your other wives

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 08:33   #20
MooMoo444
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Originally Posted by HecFam View Post
Check in a bush, that's where most blackberries are. HAHAHAH im so bloody funny.
Maybe it's on vibrate, that's why you can't hear it...and she's keeping it in her bush...*ahem*.
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 08:34   #21
nick.lidgett
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narj View Post
Have you looked in the ASDA car park?

This is funny because of the other thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by HecFam View Post
Check in a bush, that's where most blackberries are. HAHAHAH im so bloody funny.
This is funny also

Signatures are over rated
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 08:59   #22
Leprechaun312
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you sure you haven't stolen it to check what she has been doing in her hours outside the kitchen?
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 09:21   #23
doofer
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Enquire on Reddit if she's accidentally left it under one of their Fedoras.


Misuse 'Literally' often to alert others of your inane ****wittery.
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 09:31   #24
mrk
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It's a Blackberry, one of their best assets is to be lost.

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 09:42   #25
G|mp
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leprechaun312 View Post
you sure you haven't stolen it to check what she has been doing in her hours outside the kitchen?
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 09:50   #26
Atlas23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Narj View Post
Have you looked in the ASDA car park?
Quote:
Originally Posted by HecFam View Post
Check in a bush, that's where most blackberries are. HAHAHAH im so bloody funny.
Quote:
Originally Posted by doofer View Post
Enquire on Reddit if she's accidentally left it under one of their Fedoras.
Lolled


Another 5 star thread right here

On topic response: Call the police, tell them you suspect your wife is involved in a terror plot, and that you haven't seen her for a while. Then just follow the sirens to the location of the phone simples


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Last edited by Atlas23; 14th Oct 2013 at 10:00.
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 11:36   #27
jamesblade
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Have you looked in the ASDA car park?


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Old 14th Oct 2013, 12:12   #28
Leprechaun312
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G|mp View Post
Lol, its probably true to be honest, when she's not at home he has no control over what she does,

she could be speaking.......to other human beings
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Old 14th Oct 2013, 12:14   #29
twist3d0n3
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remove it from your rectum

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Old 14th Oct 2013, 12:15   #30
Yas786
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Have you looked in the ASDA car park?
Loll'ing here

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