Came across this great cv

LizardKing

LizardKing

LizardKing

Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
8,334
Location
The Land of Roundabouts
Just thought i'd share a part of this CV.
Funnily enough i dont blame the guy as i've had some run ins with these sort of job agencys! But it doesnt look to good to perspective employers, there was nothing special within his CV!

IMPORTANT NOTES – READ THIS SECTION CAREFULLY BEFORE YOU EVEN CONSIDER PHONING OR EMAILING ME

I AM NOT LOOKING FOR WORK OUTSIDE OF THE MANCHESTER AREA. DO NOT CONTACT ME OFFERING WORK ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MANCHESTER UNLESS YOU ENJOY BEING TOLD TO **** OFF.

I’VE GOT PLENTY OF OFFERS AND I DON’T WANT TO WORK IN YORKSHIRE, LONDON, SCOTLAND, BRUSSELS OR KUALA LUMPUR.

COMPUTER FUTURES – THIS MEANS YOU TOO, YOU SPAMMING *****. IN FACT DON’T EVEN PHONE ME YOU SHIFTLESS BUNCH OF ****.

DO NOT ADD MY DETAILS TO YOUR ***** CANDIDATE DATABASE WITH FIRST OBTAINING MY PERMISSION, I AM SICK OF RECEIVING SPAM AND I DON’T NEED YOUR ***** IPROFILE SERVICE TO FIND WORK. ADDING THESE DETAILS TO ANY DATABASE SYSTEM WITHOUT MY EXPRESS PERMISSION WILL RESULT IN PROSECUTION UNDER THE DATA PROTECTION ACT. ANY SPAM WILL BE REPORTED TO YOUR SERVICE PROVIDER WITH A VIEW TO GETTING YOUR MAIL SERVERS BLACKLISTED.

IF I DON’T ANSWER THE PHONE TO YOU THEN I’M BUSY. THERE IS NO NEED TO CALL ME EVERY FIVE ****** MINUTES.

IF I DON’T CALL YOU BACK THEN I DON’T WANT WHATEVER ***** JOB YOU’RE OFFERING ME. FIND SOMEONE ELSE. I’VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH MY TIME THAT CHASE AFTER JOBS I DON’T WANT JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK I SHOULD WANT THEM.

YES, I AM RUDE AND IGNORANT AND I DO NOT GIVE A RAT’S ASS WHAT YOU THINK. I’M GOOD AT MY JOB AND I HAVE NO TROUBLE FINDING WORK. DEAL WITH IT.

I DO NOT KNOW “ANYONE ELSE WITH SIMILAR SKILLS WHO IS LOOKING FOR WORK AND MIGHT BE INTERESTED” – IT’S YOUR JOB TO FIND THESE PEOPLE YOU BONE IDLE *****. STOP ASKING ME TO DO YOUR ****** JOB FOR YOU.

DON’T ASK ME IF I KNOW HTML OR I WILL JUST HANG UP ON YOU.
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Sorry if ive missed any swearys!
 
....

Nice bloke, I'd love to see how he has no trouble finding work with that attitude :eek:
 
I'd offer him a job in Manchester, Vermont and then tell him that he wasn't clear enough about which Manchester area he wanted to work in.

The guy sounds like a bit of a ****** to me! ;)
 
Maybe his 'attitude' is only in that Cv quote, maybe he is a great person with a very mild mannered temper. I know I can be like tha in the Op's quote but that doesnt make me any more arrogant or with an attitude does it.
 
I think most people would have felt like the guy in the OP and wanted to have a similar rant.

But to actually write it down in a covering letter is just makes you look like a ***** imo.

Mind you it does look like one of these internet 'stories' that tends to do the rounds.
 
droolinggimp said:
Maybe his 'attitude' is only in that Cv quote, maybe he is a great person with a very mild mannered temper. I know I can be like tha in the Op's quote but that doesnt make me any more arrogant or with an attitude does it.
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If he is, he didnt make it known in the rest of his 7 page cv just listing old jobs. :)

This is the bit from other skills

Other Skills
I possess excellent written and verbal communication skills and am a highly motivated and co-operative worker with the ability to adapt easily to new working environments. I am immediately available for contract or permanent reoles in the Manchester/Cheshire area.
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Made me laugh anyhow :D
 
I think that rant is directed at recruitment firms in the IT industry. There tactics are a little dubious to say the least and hes probably very fed up with them!
 
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MikeHunt79 said:
nice, i wonder how many calls he gets with that :D
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Probably the same number he'd get without.

I state I only want to work in London, but people still call me about Southampton, Manchester and Edinburgh on a daily basis or send me perm details when my CV explicitly states contract only.

I also hate iProfile with a passion; it's like doing surgery with a chisel.
 
Dont particulalrly think his attitude stinks and can completely understand his sentiments.

Have you never applied for jobs on places like monster and just ended up with tons of people phoning you for positions that are sod all to do with what you applied for? Or ringing saying they have the perfect job, then asking you for some personal details (mostly already covered in CV) then buggering off and never hearing from them again? Just so they can add another name to their list of job seekers so they can then say we Xmillion people on our books?

That said, dont think he will get any job with that at the top of his CV, although it could have the opposite effect of an employer coming accross it and finding it funny and speaking to the guy...... I would possibly consider him depending on his skills.
 
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