Advice for the Girlfriend & her new job please

bigbadish

bigbadish

bigbadish

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Joined
2 Mar 2004
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706
Location
Shropshire
Hi all,

I’m after a little advice from anyone that’s been through or experienced the same sort of thing. Let me explain.

My girlfriend is 20, fit, healthy, and started a new job as a Trainee Accountant yesterday for a private company about 2 miles away. Before this she worked in a Nursery and was also a cleaner, but decided this wasn’t for her so began to do some Bookkeeping / Accountancy courses at the local college to hopefully allow her to change jobs, which, after a year or so has lead to an opportunity arising.

However, although she has a little knowledge of the basics of the practice, her colleagues seem to be friendly and nice (apart from 1 or 2 that seems to be a little grumpy), there are other trainee’s there, more women than men, good working hours (8:30 – 5 Mon-Thurs and 8:30 – 2pm on a Fri) she has been very upset and has it set in her mind that she “it’s too difficult” and she can’t do it and she wants to know it all already and not look “stupid” or have to ask lots of questions.

I have tried to assure her that it is a big change so it will take a little time to adjust, that everyone has nerves / stress when they start a new job, it’s a trainee position so they will do just that, train you up and it will just take a little bit of time.

Unfortunately though it seems to be falling on deaf ears and I’m really not sure what else I can do to get it into her head that she’s a smart girl (which she is, even though she doesn’t see it sometimes) and if she gave it 6 months she’d look back and laugh and say how silly she was to be so worried.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Cheers.
 
Plenty of hugs and ice cream.

Be suportive but try not to go on about it too much, chances are thinking about it too much is getting her worked up and worried about it in the first place. Do plenty of relaxing stuff to try and keep her mind off it in the evenings.

As you've said its just something she's got to work through.

PK!
 
Its normal for her to be feeling like this as y ou should know, she hasn't had experience in that field and a little nervous.

You've got to tell her that it's what she has been training for and going on courses for, it was bound to happen. You have to get the experience, if you go wrong, then your a trainee. She's bound to make mistakes at first and it'll feel like a thump in the head at first. (My mums an Accountant) But you just have to assure her thats it's what she's been studying for and shes actually making use of it now. If that don't work then i'll receommend Jaggermeister :)
 
When I started in an accountancy position for the first time, I felt like the thickest mofo in the building. I knew nothing, nothing made sense, I didn't even understand purchase and sales ledger properly. Then it started to sink in and make sense, and now I'm a complete genius! :D

Tell her to stick at it if it's what she sees herself doing.
 
My girlfriend is also a junior accountant and even though she goes to uni in the evening studying business management has said that it's a lot to learn and often comes home saying that there's lots to learn.
That's the point in being a trainee, you're on the bottom rung and have everything to learn but eventually it'll start clicking into place.
 
Jeez, it's her first day - it's always gonna be tricky for the initial 'bedding in' period. Surely a job has to be challenging or demanding in some way..unlike being a cleaner (no offence). Tell her this is a good opportunity to make something of herself, a career, and to stick with it.
 
ovaries, orbit, nukes.


But seriously, I think you're heading down the right lines - try to address her insecurities. Perhaps there is something else underlying it though; a reason why she doesn't want to be seen as lacking knowledge? The logical fact that she is expected to lack knowledge as a trainee might not sink in if there is something else playing at her mind that she isn't talking about. Perhaps these feelings of inadequacy are bringing up past times when she felt the same way?

Anyway, you know her better than anyone else, so just keep trying around the same lines.
 
Its gunna be hard for the first few months, any new job is, let alone being in a trainee role. She'll get past it. Just think when shes all trained up she'll be on big money.


Good luck to her and stick at it!
 
bigbadish said:
she has been very upset and has it set in her mind that she “it’s too difficult”
Click to expand...

"it's too difficult" is only a valid excuse if it's being said about learning joined up writing.. or going through that difficult phase where you switch from your mum tying your laces to doing them yourself (velcro doesn't count)

the key work in her job title is "Trainee", this translates to "do what you're told, remember how you're told to do it, ask questions if you don't know" a trainee that isn't out of their depth and asking questions to start with isn't paying attention properly.
 
Tell her not to be afraid to ask questions, the more questions the more answers, the more she learns.

I started a new job about 5 months back and it was a complete change of profession, starting off i knew barely anything about it, 5 months down the line of constant questions to work colleagues and managers im now just as efficient as the assistant manager and know as much!

Tell her to stick to it, she might regret giving up so soon!
 
Just tell her to keep at it. If its still rubbish in 3-6 months and she feels the same way then seriosuly consider stopping.

My advice to sort things out in the short term is:

- Get a shoe box or large perfume box or something similar.
- Cut a hole in the side
- Stick your junk in said hole
- Give the box to your girlfriend whilst attached and she will receive a nice supprise (and so might you) ;)
 
not really sure what else to suggest other than reassuring her like you're doing already.

i myself got promoted into Finance roughly 6/7 months ago now and when i first accepted the role i thought "but what if i cant do it, it sounds too difficult!"

at first i was really nervous thinking "what if this all goes wrong!" but now i look back and realise there was nothing to be worried about.
As you said they will train her up and eventually it will just "click."

Like with any new job it takes a while to settle in but im sure in a month or two she will start to feel much better about it all.
 
She's probably right. Most succesful accountants are degree educated rather than fumbling in after doing a book-keeping course because they couldnt think what else to do. If it doesn't interest her then she's going to find it a very boring career.
 
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