Mondays Joke

Sonea Fifer

Sonea Fifer

Sonea Fifer

Soldato
Joined
13 Dec 2006
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On the forest moon Endor
Been a while since I posted a joke thread (dons flame proof suit) so here goes:

The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook.

Night falls.

First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes.

"Excellent!" remarks the trainer.

Next up - the Paras. They finish their cans of lager, smear themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.

"A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.

Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc. After what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous trainer, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you five hours ago!".

So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours. The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut.

"Are you taking the ****!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer.

The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks:

"Alright, alright, I confess - I'm a rabbit!"
 
I doubt the verity of this story. It's very unlikely that any animal, far less a mere squirrel, would be be able to develop the ability to speak in any meaningful way. Now I'm not calling the OP a liar but I'm still unconvinced that these events happened. It just seems unlikely, don't you think?

Actually, I suppose a parrot or parakeet could potentially do this. Perhaps the OP meant parrot and not squirrel. There's probably not much eating on a parrot though so this wouldn't be enough to feed a large group of hungry men. Plus, only the Queen is legally allowed to shoot parrots so that'd be another hurdle each group would have to get over.
 
For a Monday morning, you need a shorter joke tbh

Saying that, I would like 1 minute of my life back please :(
 
I can't believe we only managed a draw against a crap team we should easily have beaten.

I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.



The History Channel+1.

Where History repeats itself.
 
Last edited:
[FnG]magnolia;16793295 said:
I doubt the verity of this story. It's very unlikely that any animal, far less a mere squirrel, would be be able to develop the ability to speak in any meaningful way. Now I'm not calling the OP a liar but I'm still unconvinced that these events happened. It just seems unlikely, don't you think?

Actually, I suppose a parrot or parakeet could potentially do this. Perhaps the OP meant parrot and not squirrel. There's probably not much eating on a parrot though so this wouldn't be enough to feed a large group of hungry men. Plus, only the Queen is legally allowed to shoot parrots so that'd be another hurdle each group would have to get over.
Click to expand...

more amusing than the joke.
 
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