Depression/Stress

bakes0310 said:
So whats the difference between being sad and being depressed. Is it the same but you just stay sad for longer without knowing why?
What brings it on, does it have to be traumatic like seeing a bad accident or abuse. Or can it happen from a simple bad day at the office?
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One is a feeling, the other is a clinical condition.
 
I would say that she needs to look at the root cause the best bit of info I could suggest is CBT you do not need to be refered to get this help it can be sourced online

It helps you to understand why you feel the way you do and idenfity what the root cause or "your base line" is from their it can help put things into perspective and instead of addopting the "negative" look at things in a different light.

It wont promise to fix things but it will help to understand yourself more and what the "trigger/s" are.. Oh by the way CBT - Congnative Behavioural Therapy. As someone who has Bi- Polar which wasnt indentified till late in life/ And who was also a Samaritan for many years. I sincerly hope that she gets the help and support she deserves.

People look at the pyhsical illness and can identify but when it comes to the mental their is a stigma/prejudice that still exists, because it can't be seen doesnt mean it is any less disabilititating.
 
I'm currently on the list for CBT.

I have had pretty much zero confidence for as long as I can remember and i'm up and down like a yo-yo. I've coped my excluding myself from everything most of my 20s and socially I have really suffered. Having by chance met someone I would call my soul mate and having clashed many times due to my negative wavelength of thinking have I brought up the issue and sought official help.

The process is a waiting game but it can't be ignored. Focus on the good times, understand that her thought processes might be alarming and that it's just her way of thinking. Try not to take things personally and stand by her side. She'll be fine, love and cuddles is all we need, but she will have to get the help she needs and work at her issues. The doctors can't just give you magic pills or talk it out of you. You have to be prepared for changing the way you think and make changes.
 
Orionaut said:
How do I PM?
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You need to configure your trust. Click the trust button under any of your posts and set it up. You can then pm other members by clicking on their trust button.

On topic I had a close friend at Uni who went through and still suffers from depression. Anyone who doesnt think it's a clinical condition has never seen what it can do to someone.

OP I wish you the best of luck. Be patient and remember that people with depression often try to push away those close to them. It will get better with time and treatment. The most positive thing is that she's going to the doctor now. Recognising the problem is one of the most important steps towards solving it.
 
My advice, time for a life change. Exercise is good at helping depression, start going on on walks, runs, bike rides etc. Get her out and about, seeing new things.
 
cHk4 said:
What does that have to do with it? Not having a dig or owt I'm genuinely curious.
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MDMA can provide clarity and the ability to see oneself objectively. It also allows one to open up emotionally, making it easier to figure out what is wrong. As such, it has considerable therapeutic potential. (It's illegal obviously, so this isn't a recommendation to try it, just stating facts.)
 
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The fact that she has spoken/ speaking to the Doctor is great.

The Dr will do a survey with her which will assess how severe the depression is and then she will probably get a prescription for some tablets - a months worth to start with - and the Dr will want to see her after she has nearly completed the course for a review.

Best advice that I can give her is to take the pill at the same time everyday, and taking it before bed is best. I have found that taking it in the morning sent me jittery and hyper.

She might not feel any better/ different straight away - it can take between 2-6 weeks before she starts feeling more normal - but she has to keep taking them. They recommend to take them for a min of 6 months, so once you come off them you have to think really really hard and far back in time to relate back to how dark she was feeling. Kinda like giving her a nice big buffer between the dark days/ moods and the better normal times.

Just be kind to her, and try and cut her some slack. Give her plenty of cuddles and try and take her out a few times a month

Most of all, don't take her moods or her personality changes personally. You could be the one person who can help her through this

I am going through it, and I find that talking about it makes me feel better. Send me a message in trust if you want to know any more.
 
I've been suffering with it on and off for the past 4 years since 16. I've been to counselling and all of that, didn't help me at all and hasn't helped anyone I know who suffers from it either. The one thing that I strongly recommend is exercise and getting out away from work life as much as possible. Doing this has helped me more than any dope drugs or counselling ever has... they're just temporary solutions to a permanent problem. Stuff like this requires life changes, masking the problem does nothing.
 
fluffy bunnies vs hammer of the gods

No1newts said:
Anyone ever had to deal with anyone close to them suffering from this?

I don't particularly want to go into too much detail but my missus has been to see the doctor and they have said that this may be effecting her and she has to go back next week.

Bit worried to be fair, so any advice would be appreciated.
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I have.

It was a total nightmare and swallowed my life and potential as all of my surplus energy was focused on trying to help someone who didn't really want to be helped, no matter the medication, doctors, psychiatrists and unconditional support she had from me. The good in the relationship was far overshadowed by the condition manifesting itself. But because I loved her (and more importantly believed she loved me) I toughed it out through all sorts of mess and damage. In the end she left me one afternoon when I was out.
Tbh that left me in a pretty bad place emotionally after nearly 10 years with her through thick and thin; when push came to shove I guess she didn't think I was worth talking to face to face about it.
It's difficult to explain fully how that made me feel... all I can say is that the whole business did me no good whatsoever and it has taken a good while for the dust to settle and as a result I'm not the same person I used to be. I'd not make the same choice again, no matter how hard or painful decision it might be.

So, that's a little background for you to help qualify what I'm going to say next.

If this is something with no prior history and is caused by 'normal everyday stuff' getting in the way and making her depressed in the short term, then I'd say there's every chance of both of you weathering the storm in a teacup successfully and moving on to better things, forgetting about this little bump in the road of life. As to what to do to help - be yourself; if you love her it's easy to understand and be there when she needs you to be - you don't have to loose yourself in this, do your own thing when you need to and when she wants your help or advice, be there when she asks for it.
Also, she has to want to get better no matter the difficulty or effort that requires. Sounds like she's taking the first steps there though.


However, if this is some long term resurfacing clinical illness.... My advice in that case is to run for the ******* hills mate; it's not going to get easier and it's never going to go away. Ever.

I sincerely hope you are facing the former and not the latter.
 
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bakes0310 said:
So whats the difference between being sad and being depressed. Is it the same but you just stay sad for longer without knowing why?
What brings it on, does it have to be traumatic like seeing a bad accident or abuse. Or can it happen from a simple bad day at the office?
Click to expand...

For me it is because *I think* that I have lost all control over my own life - not in a dictator way :)

My work/ job is horrendous in the sense that nothing is mine, I have ownership of any of my work and when I do, my boss takes it off me without me knowing (he is a control freak and does this with everyone).

My home life has too meany factors in it which I feel like I have to abide too, to keep every one happy. I have to be home on some nights cause I have to drive somewhere cause I have to do something etc etc etc

Christmas was just horrible. I was trying to get everything perfect so everyone would look at us (me and my OH) and think "Wow! How happy do they look" whilst I was slowly going mad inside my own head cause I just couldnt do everything.

I started to believe that if I didnt do something or if I screwed something up that I would loose people/ friends/ family. I started having nightmares about my OH leaving me, my family turning their back on me, loosing my job and being left all alone. The nightmares were so bad that I would wake up 4, 5, 6 times a night in tears or even frantically trying to calm myself by reaching out to make sure my OH was still asleep next to me in bed.

I couldn't take any criticism or stress at work - I would end up in tears in the toilets, hoping no one would come in and see me...

Its a dark dark downward spiral - and it honestly felt like that for me. Things rushing around and around in my head and things happening too fast or too much or too often for me to do anything about them.

A consent feeling of loneliness, feeling like no one can help me cause its all in my head and if try and talk about it people will think that I am being silly...so cause I didnt talk about it, it added to everything else and I spiraled further down

It got to the point that cause I felt that I had no control over my own life, I couldn't 'see' what was going to happen the next day. Everyone normally has some sort of semblance of what the next day is going to hold, but to me it was just black, dark, blank...

I have been taking medication for 3 months now and I am feeling more 'normal'...my moods don't yoyo as much and I feel like I can cope with things if they dont go right. The nightmares have stopped too.

I still dont feel well and as soon as I take my pill (10pm at night) about 20-30 mins later I am falling asleep, but that side effect is wearing off now

Thats my story so far
 
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Long post ahoy - more aligned with anxiety but how I've let that slip to depression:

I had a real bad bout of what the Dr described as being like a post-viral depression in 2011. It starts with a regular illness and because you're so low, it spirals on and on and on. Rationality goes out of the window!

I'm a teacher and ever since I've started the Sept-Oct term wears me out. I'm nearly always ill in October just in time for half-term. It's not that I can't cope with the job, I'm good at it and I'm organised, it's just I find hard to start back after the hols.

I woke up in the middle of night like the walking dead the week before half-term. My arm pit was aching and I went to the bathroom to have a look. I had a lump on the surface of the skin. It felt hard. Looking back, I know I knew it wasn't serious but I worked myself up about it. Crucially, I didn't say anything to anyone and just hoped it would go.

I spent the half-term week poking at it, making it sore, my arm ached worse and I think over course of the week, with little to do, I convinced myself I had cancer. I swore my lymph nodes were up in the same arm around my elbow. My stomach ached, like I'd been kicked in the nuts, I stopped eating properly (I couldn’t face it) and lost about half a stone that week. I was genuinely ill at the time too, but mentally I was going to the wall and half the symptoms I had were in my head.

I went to the dentist on the Friday of half term and realised I was being a nutter, sat in the car in the car park. I eventually told my wife I felt really ill (though she could tell, she just thought it was the usual illness at that time of year). I booked an appointment for the following Monday at the Docs for after work.

That day was horrid. My first class was a lovely group of Year 10s, very bright, not demanding in anyway. But it was so hard. I really struggled to talk to them - 30 eyes looking at me. I felt panic, hideous anxiety. The register even was a struggle. I calmed myself down and worked through the day - hoping it wouldn't show.

Doctor was fantastic. I explained the symptoms and he was pretty rough with me physically. Poked and prodded and grabbed. Checked the nuts, checked for hernias, did my blood pressure. He told me I was absolutely fine – BP raised was stress and just to relax and come back in a week. That walk home was awesome. I felt that I was completely back to my old self. The stomach ache disappeared, the lump was much smaller (just a blocked sweat duct). Mum and Dad were round and were obviously in the loop and looked after me a little bit till wife got home. Had a celebratory curry etc.

However, it wasn’t the end at all. I let it build up whenever I felt stressed and it kept coming and going. I went back to the Docs who gave me some options – signed off work, take some meds or just battle on. I chose to battle on which I still think was right for me.

It all came to a head at my wife’s birthday party. I was an utter prat and stormed off to bed. The next day, when I realised how sad I’d made my wife, I just sorta snapped out of it. I’d also been reading about Stan Collymoore and his depression and that helped as well. For 2 months I’d felt like I was so ill and that I didn’t have long left; that I’d be better off dead now before things got worse. I never understood how someone happily married, with kids, could ever commit suicide. But I remember doing the pots, looking at the knives and just thinking it wouldn’t take much to escape the way I felt.

At one point I even was sent to the hospital for a scan on my testicles because despite the doctor check on 2 separate occasions, I was convinced I was in pain in one of them – which had just started following a booted kick to the nut by my son around Christmas... and had developed into a ‘what if’.

Best thing I ever did was to tell my wife. Mum also had depression 10 years ago and became a bit of a rock too.

My wife and I tried really hard this October knowing I could potentially slip and it helped a lot. I still get anxious. I still worry about cancer and stuff. But where I'd have to leave a room when a Macmillan ad comes on, I can actually cope now. My anxiety doesn’t turn into depression like it did.

TL;DR – I got ill, worked it up to cancer, got really depressed, considered suicide. Battled out of it. Have anxiety bouts, kick my own ass out of it with wife’s help. TALK!
 
TrixiBuG said:
For me it is because *I think* that I have lost all control over my own life - not in a dictator way :)

*SNIP*

I have been taking medication for 3 months now and I am feeling more 'normal'...my moods don't yoyo as much and I feel like I can cope with things if they dont go right. The nightmares have stopped too.

I still dont feel well and as soon as I take my pill (10pm at night) about 20-30 mins later I am falling asleep, but that side effect is wearing off now

Thats my story so far
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Reading through that brings a lot back. Not in a good way :(
Hope it goes well for you. Little steps and all that. :)
 
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