The big children debate

Curio · 17 Jun 2013 at 17:58

Don't understand the big deal, OP. If you don't want kids (plenty don't) then don't have kids. You can just block Facebook feeds that annoy you....hang out with other people who don't have kids.....just get on with life.

Although I have a kid (he's so cute, let me dig out some pics to send you

) I don't think you are in any way "abnormal" for not understanding the appeal. I'm the only one of my close group of friends who has kids and I don't think they're weird or anything. Good for them.

The only thing I will say is that having kids doesn't = having no life. Before my son came along, I traveled all over the world, played video games until the early hours, and generally did whatever I wanted. This is just a new chapter in my life now.....I've done the "no responsibilities" thing and it was awesome. Now I'm late 30's and I'm incredibly happy doing the family thing. If that's not you.....so what? :confused:

danza · 17 Jun 2013 at 18:18

I really dislike kids. I have a 3 week old daughter.

LordSplodge · 17 Jun 2013 at 18:23

Dis86 said:
You mean to those blissful teenage years?

Oh...wait...

Swarfega is screwed.

Bobcat · 17 Jun 2013 at 18:52

Im 36 now, never wanted to have kids, no will i ever have kids, that's through personal choice.

I do however have 3 nieces and 1 nephew, who i adore, so i do have kids around me, but thats where it ends, i like my lifestyle as it is, without complicating things with children of my own.

I get the whole facebook thing that others mention, some days when i do check it, its full of baby this, baby that, kids this, kids that, what i would call a family album is now automatically uploaded to facebook, where it turns into a 'who can make out they have had the best day ever with their super-awesome kids', so that precious family album is being forced down peoples throats, ye great pictures, but i don't want to see your kids every time i check facebook, but i guess that this is the digital age and things change

ChrisJSY · 17 Jun 2013 at 19:05

stuie said:
How do you deal with the constant pressure to become a sheep?

Your problem is you think it's pressure.
I do not want kids, but there's absolutely zero pressure on me to "conform" as you put it.

But the bigger issue I see here is why do people fall for these imaginary pressures, peer or otherwise. Be who you want.

No1newts · 17 Jun 2013 at 19:14

I have kids, but even I get annoyed with people who constantly talk about them and more importantly, continually post Facebook updates and pictures of their kids.

I love my kids and I will talk about them with people if they do something noteworthy or someone enquiries about them. I love my kid but I know how irritating it can be when people non stop talk about them, they a huge part of my life but I have other parts and I appreciate they are not the largest part of others lives.

So whilst OP you are nothing special by not wanting kids, I can se your POV regarding people harping on about them all the time.

ganesh · 17 Jun 2013 at 19:17

My thoughts very much echo yours stuie, I hate the little *****. Don't ever want them and nor does the girlfriend, having a kid is probably my absolute worst nightmare. I know it's selfish but it actually annoys me when friends/family have them as it means I'm going to see them a lot less, as their lives will then be focussed on the kid and I'm not going to want to visit because I don't want to be around children. The parents don't stop banging on about them and the kids themselves are noisy and annoying.

I think the paternal part of my brain is missing as I have zero tolerance for anything to do with children.

Nitefly · 17 Jun 2013 at 19:23

I think having my own son is pretty much the stamp of approval that I won. So yes, would love to have kids some day.

Elrein · 17 Jun 2013 at 19:31

Haven't got kids don't want kids and yep I pretty much have no time for other people's kids.

One thing that makes me laugh is when people say now I've got kids I could never live without them. Well guess what you can't live without them full stop a kid isn't just for Xmas it's for life and no matter how many times superman spins around the globe backwards it ain't going to change.

(Superman is for reference only, and not to be confused with the man of steel as he's a total re-write and hence there is no krypotnite either. So if all you people say you can't live without your kids just think Hollywood because that's the only way it's going to happen)

That is all....

Yaayuh! · 17 Jun 2013 at 19:35

danza said:
I really dislike kids. I have a 3 week old daughter.

smelly_legend · 17 Jun 2013 at 19:51

I can understand the biological and emotional want/need to have kids however, do not want them myself. Kids are funny in general. I don't mind them or people that have them as my own mother had me. I do, however, find it distasteful when parents treat kids as an accessory to themselves and therefore can resonate with the OP.

May I ask, with their being numerous amounts of children needing to be fostered or adopted, why is it so important for people (in general) to replicate their own genes instead of taking care of others whom are already in need?

Tachyon · 17 Jun 2013 at 21:13

LordSplodge said:
I meant *if* you choose to have kids it's better sooner than later.

Works both ways, not sure one way is better than other. I know a few lads that had kids when they were young and in hindsight they might have prefered to leave it for a few more years. At the same time I know lads like yourself that were glad they had them early.

I was mid 30's when my son was born and don't regret it at all, I travelled quite a bit in my 20's, seen places I wanted and I'm happy with my choice. I certainly had far more financial security in my 30's than I did in my 20's.

Anyway, as for the OP, babies tend to be a pretty big thing in someones life so they do tend to harp on a bit about them, women moreso than men I'd imagine. I work with a load of blokes and the topic of our kids does come up on occasion but no more so than any other subject.

RDM · 17 Jun 2013 at 21:16

Amp34 said:
... and literally paved over 10% pf it...

Where did you get this figure from? The total amount of land classified as Urban is about 7% for the whole of the UK and "Urban" also includes gardens, parks, sports pitches, allotments etc. The estimated amount of land built on is around 2.27%

danza · 17 Jun 2013 at 21:18

Rossi~ said:

LordSplodge · 17 Jun 2013 at 22:03

Tachyon said:
Works both ways, not sure one way is better than other. I know a few lads that had kids when they were young and in hindsight they might have prefered to leave it for a few more years. At the same time I know lads like yourself that were glad they had them early.
.

I'm not saying one way is right. Obviously it's a personal choice. However if I was to have a child now I'd be in my fifties with a teenager. That doesn't sound like much fun to me.

Morba · 17 Jun 2013 at 22:25

Amp34 said:
You know we'rd one of the most populate nations on earth, we have changed 90+% of the environment beyond recognition and literally paved over 10% pf it. Poisoned huge swathes of it and wiped out huge numberd of other animals and living creatures, bringing huge amounts more to the edge...

But no, we are not overpopulated and it is every woman's right go bring another child into a world of 7 billion humans...

What about the rights of the rest of the living creatures on earth?

Fly over the country and you will see we have plenty of space. There is no need for a birth policy or to say women shouldn't give birth if they want.

Yes, resources and utilities are hard to deal with now, but they can be enlarged and upgraded and more people can use them.

Morba · 17 Jun 2013 at 22:29

danza said:
I really dislike kids. I have a 3 week old daughter.

Little girl? It gets worse before it gets better

Mine is almost 3 and at times she is easier than her brother was, but she is much more tempermental and hard work when she wants to play up. Terrible 2's, fun

[FnG]magnolia · 17 Jun 2013 at 22:30

In a happy coincidence the people who are militantly anti-children havers are exactly the same people who should not have kids.

Everyone wins

diamount · 17 Jun 2013 at 22:31

I don't have any kids but the freedom argument doesn't make sense to me. You'll have lots of freedom when you're retired and your kids have grown up lol

danza · 17 Jun 2013 at 22:37

Morba said:
Little girl? It gets worse before it gets better
Mine is almost 3 and at times she is easier than her brother was, but she is much more tempermental and hard work when she wants to play up. Terrible 2's, fun

Tell me about it. My neighbour has a 2yo girl and she screams and screams and screams...

Looking forward to it!