Parents - How old were you when your first child was born?

[D.P.]

Well, it sucks if your grandparents die when you're very young. I was ~10 when my maternal grandfather died, and that was rubbish. I look back fondly on my time with him, but it's pretty lame that I never knew him outside of a child's experience - I never had the chance to have any grown up conversations/to ask him about his life in a way I'd like to have when looking back/etc.

My grandparents were almost all dead before I was older enough to remember except one who hated children. I don't see it as a big issue. Much more important issues like good loving parents, safe family environment, good school etc.


You also have to factor increaisng life expectancy, it is now much more likely the grandparents will be around in their 80s

 

[Sandycheeks]

?
Dont know why this happened, was trying to edit my post to add Northwest

 

[D.P.]

At the end of the day, there's no right or wrong answer. You just have to decide how you want to balance it.

For me, 31 is a good middle ground, but I would've chosen to do it earlier in hindsight.

i agree there is no right or wrong answer and it is all about compromising and making a balance. I would prefer to do it later but early 30s was a good compromise.
Actually I think the other good option is really young, like 18-22, that way when you are in your late 30s they have left the nest egg, but to achieve that is extremely challenging and can have severe consequences on careers.

 

[antijoke]

I was 23 girlfriend was 21.

 

[EddScott]

I was 24, GF was 20. Missed out on "teen mom" by 3 months. Although she does have a brace in the photos

Two ways of looking at it. Get it done and out the way so you've "served your time" or go out and see the world and have kids when you've had enough of that.

I did it early - had every intention of not doing it again but I now have a 13 year old and a 2 year old. I'm 37.

My bro did it late. He has seen far more of the world than me and I suspect is a more rounded person because of it.

 

[D.P.]

Maybe you missed out on three who would have been lovely and would have had an extremely positive impact on your life .

My daughter is currently growing up without Grandparents being around much, so regardless of age these things just aren't controllable.

 

[HangTime]

Well, it sucks if your grandparents die when you're very young. I was ~10 when my maternal grandfather died, and that was rubbish. I look back fondly on my time with him, but it's pretty lame that I never knew him outside of a child's experience - I never had the chance to have any grown up conversations/to ask him about his life in a way I'd like to have when looking back/etc.

In modern society often one doesn't see much of grandparents anywhere due to families being much more dispersed. 3 of my grandparents lived until I was in my 20s but they lived 100+ miles away so I didn't see them that frequently anyway.

I know what you mean about adult conversations but in terms of influences on my life there were many things that had a bigger impact than my grandparents e.g. immediate family, schooling, friends, illnesses, hobbies and so forth.

My grandparents were all a lot older than me (about 70 years difference) so to me such a gap felt quite normal - I used to find it really weird that other children had grandparents that still worked for example.

 

[Curio]

First was when I was 38 and wife was 29. Was born here in the US. Had the 2nd one 3 months ago.

I think it worked out perfectly. We waited until we both felt ready and I had decent job.

 

[heeeed]

I was 33 and my wife was 31 and we live in newcastle. I think we did it at right time for us. We did at same time as much of our peer group which I think is as important as actual age tbh. Much earlier and doubt I would have felt as financially secure or mature enough, but again that varies a lot

 

[MooMoo444]

21, married to my then 31 year old wife.

Live near London.

Yes I think it was the correct decision.

Blimey, was she grooming you?

 

[randomshenans]

We live in different countries and still manage grandparent trips and visits multiple times a year. Saw them last week over easter.

 

[Skidder]

33 and 34

 

[AndrewNR]

I was 29, Mrs was 28. More south than north - Norwich.

She is now 2 and a half, so we're 32 and 31 and expecting our second (girl) in June.

I think financially it would have been a lot better if we had waited until now to have the first as we would have had £10,000s in the bank rather than £1,000s (Mrs has done 3 days for the last 2 years or so and I went down to 4 days for 1 year). On the flip side I think it was a good age as I think I'll be in good enough shape physically to enjoy their company and be there until they are a decent age. I wouldn't want to put off kids until 40+.

 

[flame696]

I was 25 missus was 25 as well, im 34 now and we have 4 kids!

youngest will be a year old on the 24th of this month

 

[manius]

i was 27 wife was 23
south east
my first boy was born in dec 2006 the second march 2009 i wish now that we had a bigger gap as if they decide to go to uni its going to cost a fortune to fund both of them at the same time

 

[{SAS}TB]

I was 34, wife was 32 - two girls now 7 and 5

As said before there is no "right" time but the balance and our / our families age feels right for us

We were trying for a few years before we concieved

Location wise - originally from the North (North Yorkshire) and now living in the not so North (Cheshire)

 

[Mickie]

28

 

[Kishywish]

I'm 32 and the missus is 33 - got 7 week old twins.
In hindsight, we should not have waited so long, though the drivers here are the probable difficulties with raising a child at the wrong end of 30 together with the decreasing odds of conception with IVF after the age of 30.

 

[D.P.]

Oh of course, I'm not disputing that grandparents often don't have a large impact, but it's still nice to have a choice . We lived a few hundred miles away from my maternal grandparents, so didn't see them for most of the year... but spent a couple of weeks a year staying with them over Easter/Christmas. People can manage visits/stays, if they actually want to .

Me one grandparents lived 500 miles away so we saw her once a year.

My Parents saw their grand daughter last year but it probably wont happen this year.. Neither of my sisters has seen my child, heck I have only seen my sisters once or twice in the last 10 years, normally when one of us is getting married.


In the 21st century being close to your family is a luxury.

 

[cm1179]

Not just the fitness, but for example (Age you have children at, given the average parent age is increasing);

20 - You'll be 40 when they're 20. 50 when they're 30 and having kids?
30 - You'll be 50 when they're 20. 60 when they're 30 and having kids?
40 - You'll be 60 when they're 20. 70 when they're 30 and having kids?
50 - You'll be 70 when they're 20. 80 when they're 30 and having kids?

How much of their life do you want to be around for? And what about your grandchildren? And maybe even great-grandchildren if you do it early enough?

I'd rather be around for more of their life than less.

it's each to their own

you'd rather be around for more of their life than less. some (me included) would rather live more of my life without the responsibility.

i look at this way. if you have a child <26 that means you have been out of school for less than 10 yrs. i personally don't see that as long enough to have done my own thing, not in this day and age anyway.

i also counter the argument of being too old to enjoy their upbringing, when a lot of young parents are more interested in tv and social media than what their children are doing. if i have a child when i'm 40, i reckon i'd be far better equipped than if i was 30.

a few of my school friends had children at 19/21 they're now the ones going out and the parents are bumping into them on a night out as they're trying to catch up on not having the time to go out in their 20's.

each to their own. it's not the age that matters, it's the quality of the upbringing.