Guys guide to online dating

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I'm old, married and don't have any experience of online dating. But my mate recently broke up from a long term relationship and joined the usual sites. He pretty much concurs. After six months he's started to be brutally honest to some of them when he's met up; too brutal in my opinion but he's fed up funding dinner and drinks for people who have, frankly, lied to him **

I think part of the problem is the filters that apps like instagram automatically apply.


** I appreciate some men are horrible people too - I'm not just trying to paint women as the sole offenders here.

I agree, according to some women I've talked to there's lots of men with filters, pouting and posing with cars.
 
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Use dating sites that pay. Free ones and tinder really aren't all that. I'm using eharmony; I managed to somehow find a code after a few hours searching to get a year sub for £110 when 3 months usually costs 75. Matches I've had have all had something in common and the convo has just flowed.
 
Caporegime
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1. 95% of women are filtered and photoshopped, you're in for a shock if you meet them
2. add 10 years for their actual age
3. average body size choice = very large
4. if they're looking for "financially solvent" well that's self explanatory
5. camera held high selfie, refer to 3.

I'm no George Clooney and I've got realistic expectations, but what is the point in women lying, to waste peoples time?

There has been studies done on this and usually women end up with someone higher up in the looks department than men do when talking about heterosexual dating.

So a woman who is a 3 could end up with a guy who is a 4 or 5, etc.

The thing is guys will pick purely based on the picture and not bother reading the profile at all. So it makes sense for them to alter reality in the pics somewhat rather than lying on the profile like most do.

Anyway online dating is for losers. What happened to going out and meeting people? Do you not have mates to go to wherever social butterflies hang about in your local city/town?
 
Caporegime
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Anyway online dating is for losers. What happened to going out and meeting people? Do you not have mates to go to wherever social butterflies hang about in your local city/town?
Aren't you less likely to find someone with similar interests if you just do the same **** 95% of people feel compelled to do, like go to some ****ty club or the like.

That is if you're in the 5% who aren't just into drinking and getting wasted to some awful dance music.
 
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What an amazing GIF for a response. :D

Properly made me chuckle that did.
 
Soldato
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Don't forget that 'Bubbly personality' usually means that it's something Quatermass would fight.

Forgot that one!!! Bubbly = Fat

Remember when I was younger and my friends trying to hook me up.

Friend: "I have this lovely woman for you, she has a bubbly personality"
Me: "You mean she's fat"
Friend: "Well, she's has curves"
Me: "......You mean she's fat"
Friend: "But she has a pretty face"
Me: "OK...so she is fat and what happens when she gets older...she's not going to keep that pretty face forever"
Friend: "WHY ARE YOU SO PICKY!?!?!?!?!!?"
Me: "I'm not, I just don't find fat girls attractive"
Friend: "But she's nice....."
Me: ":mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:"
 
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I am also fat, so we'd have something in common.

Although I imagine bubbly people would wear me out pretty quickly. Because I'm not. Who was that legendary grumpy old git from the TV? Meldrew, yess. I'm Victor Meldrew.
 
Caporegime
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Aren't you less likely to find someone with similar interests if you just do the same **** 95% of people feel compelled to do, like go to some ****ty club or the like.

That is if you're in the 5% who aren't just into drinking and getting wasted to some awful dance music.

I would never look for a soul mate in a club.

West end pub then yeah
 
Soldato
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I loved online dating, I just didn't make the mistake of commiting to a meal/cinema date. Coffee date all the way so if they weren't as described i could take my flat white and moonwalk out of there after 10 minutes.

This is the best way of using it in my opinion. It's a good way of meeting people you wouldn't normally get a chance to meet. I just hammered it to meet up with as many people as I could for a quick coffee. You can generally tell within 30mins if you're actually interested in someone and if you are go from there. I went on a fair few dates where one of us wasn't interested on the first date and it never went any further. Thankfully only a couple horror stories to show from it! :D
 
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This is the best way of using it in my opinion. It's a good way of meeting people you wouldn't normally get a chance to meet. I just hammered it to meet up with as many people as I could for a quick coffee. You can generally tell within 30mins if you're actually interested in someone and if you are go from there. I went on a fair few dates where one of us wasn't interested on the first date and it never went any further. Thankfully only a couple horror stories to show from it! :D

My actual full guide would be

1) don't waste time on endless chat before hand, get out and meet them face to face as soon as possible. Is amazing how many potential soul mates were duds and the ones I held out little hope for turned out to be pretty great.

2) the hot/crazy graph really does exist in 98% of cases. It gets worse the older the girl gets (a 8-10 and single at 30? They either have poor judgement or have issues)

3) it's a numbers game, 10 coffee dates over 2 awkward dinner's wins everytime. 10 £5 coffee over 2 £50 dinner's represents better value for money.

4) don't make too much effort scrubbing up for a date. Better they meet you at your average then expect high falutin treatment all the time.

5) steer clear of the "recently separated" brigade unless you're happy with a rebound ride. Not to be knocked.

6) group photos means it's the ugly one. Or even worse the hot one with self esteem issues who surrounds herself with fuglies.

7) psychos are real and out there. Filter them out by asking what their opinion is on checking partners phones and always sit closest to the door.

8) try to get written consent for sex. Even better if signed by 2 independent witnesses.

9) inspirational quotes in their pictures, or on Facebook, should be a big red flag. They're depressed.

10) Peservere. My wife was a Tinder date that I didn't read too much into and turned out to be perfect in every way. She even insisted on paying for 50% of our wine bill on the first date.
 
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Use dating sites that pay. Free ones and tinder really aren't all that. I'm using eharmony; I managed to somehow find a code after a few hours searching to get a year sub for £110 when 3 months usually costs 75. Matches I've had have all had something in common and the convo has just flowed.


From what I hear sites like eHarmony are filled with 40+ year old women who come at you with their claws out before they've even met you.
 
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