The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Associate
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So had my 2 girls over tonight.
The eldest brought a phone her mam had gave her but she had not wiped it first.
So I was sorting her roblox out on it and took a look.

Geez what is it with women and their bull ****. Its hes a ***** hes a **** from these other friends of hers in messages. Lol most have never met me.

I've not had a bad word to say about her since we split months ago.
Was trying to be an adult and making it easy for our kids to be ok.

I left her with the house and have my kids staying over at my house twice a week and provide the best I can.

Glad to be out of that *****.
They are a funny breed I tell thee. :D

probably left them on there knowing you would find them soon enough.
 
Associate
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So I met up with someone I've been talking to on Eharmony for over 2 months. We went out the night before and I went back to hers on the night. We then went walking the following day and I stayed at hers again on the night. The trouble is I really don't think I can see her as a girlfriend.

Call is shallow, but she's a nice enough person she just looks the 6 years older than me that she is. She was also really small and skinny and that isn't my type. I really shouldn't have slept with her to encourage feelings. I was driving the first night so when I went to hers We sat and chatted until 1pm when I went to leave and whilst at the door I thought I should maybe thank her for the night and give her a peck, the next thing we're upstairs together.

Having sex is was alright but not the best I've had. All it did was remind me of how great sex with my ex was when comparing it to that if I'm honest and that's put a negative on things.

Worse part is I reversed off her drive and put a dent in my car boot when hitting a fence so theres £200-£200 to now repair my car too :(

Not sure how I worm my way out of this one and feel like I've led someone on. My sister said I shouldn't put everything down to looks and I obviously enjoyed myself if I spent 36 hours with her. Truth is I did and I didn't. It was nice to have female company but not sure that she is the one for me.
 
Soldato
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Just tell her how you feel, don't mince your words and don't be a ****!!!! You're not feeling it so you're not feeling it, simple as that really. Doesn't matter what your reasons are.
 
Soldato
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Dug a big hole for yourself there, just be honest with her but she’ll probably think you’re an ass whether you’re honest or feed her some bull
 
Soldato
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So, who'd have guessed living with your ex while your flat purchase goes through would be horrible and draining??
I think she is having emotional issues, and I think I'm doing my tip top, but I'm definitely not helping her or me....
Thank god she works nights so we're only briefly together, but the days we have long stretches it's not good for either of us :(

Roll on 10th of Jan!!
 
Soldato
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Yeah it may be inconvenient but your son will likely be picking up on the stress of the situation even if you think you guys are keeping it from him well. I'm speaking from experience.
 
Soldato
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So I met up with someone I've been talking to on Eharmony for over 2 months. We went out the night before and I went back to hers on the night. We then went walking the following day and I stayed at hers again on the night. The trouble is I really don't think I can see her as a girlfriend.

.

2 months?!!?!? You must have not like her that much in the first place if it took you that long to meet up :confused:
 
Caporegime
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2 months?!!?!? You must have not like her that much in the first place if it took you that long to meet up :confused:

Doesn't this just show you shouldn't talk for a long time.

You need to tell her. It's not fair otherwise. And yeah probably shouldn't have done the sleeping withthing if you knew she was keen and you don't fancy her

Kill it off now so she can move on.
 
Associate
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Yeah. I wanted to meet up earlier but her mum took ill in hospital so we kinda just continued to talk but then came a point when I pushed that we should really meet up at some stage.

The conversations were really good and I was really excited to see her so it was a bit of a deflation.
Turns out her mum ended up passing away too when I asked her how she was. That went down like a lead balloon and makes all this more so sensitive.

I didn't really want to commit to sex but then one thing led to another. Even laying in bed together I knew it was wrong but it felt nice to have some female company. She's not a bad person to be honest and she isn't the ugliest, I'm just comparing her to my ex and she isn't on par as shallow as that sounds. Which to me also states I'm also really not over my ex. I should be happy but since the weekend I feel like I've gone massively back over from a break up that was now 4 months ago.
 
Soldato
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Yeah. I wanted to meet up earlier but her mum took ill in hospital so we kinda just continued to talk but then came a point when I pushed that we should really meet up at some stage.

The conversations were really good and I was really excited to see her so it was a bit of a deflation.
Turns out her mum ended up passing away too when I asked her how she was. That went down like a lead balloon and makes all this more so sensitive.

I didn't really want to commit to sex but then one thing led to another. Even laying in bed together I knew it was wrong but it felt nice to have some female company. She's not a bad person to be honest and she isn't the ugliest, I'm just comparing her to my ex and she isn't on par as shallow as that sounds. Which to me also states I'm also really not over my ex. I should be happy but since the weekend I feel like I've gone massively back over from a break up that was now 4 months ago.

If you are benchmarking all women against your ex then you are never going to be happy and shouldn't be dating anyone.

You need more time to be alone.
 
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If you are benchmarking all women against your ex then you are never going to be happy and shouldn't be dating anyone.

You need more time to be alone.
I would agree and it isn't like I've intentionally gone out to mess someone about or compare. Crazy it was me who left her too. I think I'm lacking the negative thoughts that were many in that relationship.
 
Soldato
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I would agree and it isn't like I've intentionally gone out to mess someone about or compare. Crazy it was me who left her too. I think I'm lacking the negative thoughts that were many in that relationship.

I have just broken off a fledging relationship because I wasn't fully signed up to it. I can't even explain why I've felt like I had to finish it but the longer I allowed it to continue the harder it would have been for both of us.

If you're really not sure you want a relationship with this girl, you must tell her. I feel relief and awful all at the same time right now. Not even sure I've made the right decision. It's unfair to carry it on if she is falling for you and you can't bring yourself to end it. It's horrible doing what I've just done but has to be for the best for both of you long term.
 
Soldato
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Bah, just been hit with the old "it's not you, it's me" again. I was actually convinced this one was going to be the one I was going to settle down with long-term, no other ex's have made me feel like she did, but alas she didnt love me as much as I love her.

Still pretty raw having only happened Sat PM/Sun AM. We'd only been together 6 months and the first 4 months was long-distance, a fantastic time seeing each other every 3 weeks or so on weekends away etc. Then she moved closer and we were able to see each other more. Think its freaked her out a bit despite my best attempts for it not to get too intense.

She said she was having difficulty putting into words how she feels about me but was going to try and write it out for me and that she does love me but there is just something missing which she can't quite put her finger on.

Proper kick in the nuts.
 
Soldato
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Bah, just been hit with the old "it's not you, it's me" again. I was actually convinced this one was going to be the one I was going to settle down with long-term, no other ex's have made me feel like she did, but alas she didnt love me as much as I love her.

Still pretty raw having only happened Sat PM/Sun AM. We'd only been together 6 months and the first 4 months was long-distance, a fantastic time seeing each other every 3 weeks or so on weekends away etc. Then she moved closer and we were able to see each other more. Think its freaked her out a bit despite my best attempts for it not to get too intense.

She said she was having difficulty putting into words how she feels about me but was going to try and write it out for me and that she does love me but there is just something missing which she can't quite put her finger on.

Proper kick in the nuts.

Yeah, it crap when that happens.

Same sort of thing happened to me yesterday. Only difference is, I couldn't careless because I have other options with different women :D

I learnt my lesson years ago.
 
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