The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

[R.O.S.S.I]

****ing LOL. You can tell that much from a forum post?

ROSSI, She's messaged you every day. That's an awful lot of guilt. Or maybe she does care about you to some degree. I'm not saying Roar87 isn't right, it might be spot on.

IMO your behaviour has been the right stuff. Take care of your own things, show independence, set some distance up while she sorts her own **** out. Whether that's to move on and stop hassling you, or realise she's interested.

Yeh I thought that response was a bit extreme!

I know that she does care about me and there is probably feelings of guilt mixed in there too.

I'm not going to cancel because ultimately, one way or another, I'll get some closure on it as we will no doubt chat it through properly as she will have had time to think about her feelings etc.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Of course it's extreme, it's Roar. He has a very, very specific view on women and what they want. The few small points of truth he does make are lost in the wave of alphabro horse**** he crams into every piece of 'advice'.

 

[jsmoke]

Of course it's extreme, it's Roar. He has a very, very specific view on women and what they want. The few small points of truth he does make are lost in the wave of alphabro horse**** he crams into every piece of 'advice'.

What's untruthful with what roar said, sounds reasonable to me?

At the end of the day she doesn't know what she wants and neither does Rossi so they're both tiptoeing around each other so as not to get stung in the process.

Giving your heart and soul away can be a dangerous thing and if your not careful you can lose your soul into the abyss in the process.

Let's face it, there's not much genuine love there, that's what it has to be built on it's the only way to sustain otherwise it becomes a convenient contractual business like relationship.

 

[PermaChanged]

Of course it's extreme, it's Roar. He has a very, very specific view on women and what they want. The few small points of truth he does make are lost in the wave of alphabro horse**** he crams into every piece of 'advice'.

Just LOL if you think it's all alphabro ****. You must be an absolute beta who lets women walk all over you. Have you ever even had a fist fight with another male just to prove your dominance to a female? Do you even lift or train UFC?

 

[Roar87]

Of course it's extreme, it's Roar. He has a very, very specific view on women and what they want. The few small points of truth he does make are lost in the wave of alphabro horse**** he crams into every piece of 'advice'.

Where as you literally never post any advice, you make zero contributions to any thread, the threads you do make attempt to be some satirical piece akin to Daily Mash except without any humour, 90% of your posts are you 'reviewing' other people's posts as if you adopt some intellectual high ground that exists only in your mind, you are utterly pointless as a member on here and I wonder why you even bother.

Rossi is in love with a girl who feels sorry for him, he's going to meet a girl who feels sorry for him for breakfast, mean while she's probably already got other guys texting her, and when I tell him to man up and have a bit of self respect I'm called an "alpha bro". Pathetic honestly.

 

[Jonnybmac]

I would say to look after your own health and make plans to focus on yourself. Meet for dinner but make it that; don't push any subjects and back her into a corner. Allow her space to decide but don't go begging, if she wanders then dust it off and move on. No matter how much you like someone, when things get enstranged you never be the one to bleed your heart out. Humans want what they can't get it's natural and get bored with what's on tap.

 

[breathe3asy]

Where as you literally never post any advice, you make zero contributions to any thread, the threads you do make attempt to be some satirical piece akin to Daily Mash except without any humour, 90% of your posts are you 'reviewing' other people's posts as if you adopt some intellectual high ground that exists only in your mind, you are utterly pointless as a member on here and I wonder why you even bother.

Rossi is in love with a girl who feels sorry for him, he's going to meet a girl who feels sorry for him for breakfast, mean while she's probably already got other guys texting her, and when I tell him to man up and have a bit of self respect I'm called an "alpha bro". Pathetic honestly.

Cor you are sensitive for such a big man

 

[MaX_PoWah]

Well I feel like I’ve lost my way.

I was dating a girl since May but that ended badly really. I feel very emotionally hurt by it all. She attacked just about everything about me.

Not sure how to pick myself up and move forward.

I’m 33 now and I just seem to stumble from one disaster to another with relationships.

Has anybody else got to this point and what did they do? I think it’s my anxious preoccupied attachment style that finds a lot of things quite triggering.

I’ve also never lived with a girl and I got grilled about that as well.

 

[.Lethal]

Well I feel like I’ve lost my way.

I was dating a girl since May but that ended badly really. I feel very emotionally hurt by it all. She attacked just about everything about me.

Not sure how to pick myself up and move forward.

I’m 33 now and I just seem to stumble from one disaster to another with relationships.

Has anybody else got to this point and what did they do? I think it’s my anxious preoccupied attachment style that finds a lot of things quite triggering.

I’ve also never lived with a girl and I got grilled about that as well.

If you're with someone that negatively affects your general state of mind then you're in the wrong relationship. By the sounds of things, it's better that this relationship ended.

Maybe spend some time on yourself before diving into the next relationship, you seem a bit all over the place and could probably do with some self improvement with your well being.

 

[Tek81]

Well I feel like I’ve lost my way.

I was dating a girl since May but that ended badly really. I feel very emotionally hurt by it all. She attacked just about everything about me.

Not sure how to pick myself up and move forward.

I’m 33 now and I just seem to stumble from one disaster to another with relationships.

Has anybody else got to this point and what did they do? I think it’s my anxious preoccupied attachment style that finds a lot of things quite triggering.

I’ve also never lived with a girl and I got grilled about that as well.

I was at a similar point just over two years ago. The conclusion I came to, was that I should focus on my self (health, hobbies, work etc) and not go looking for anyone or anything. If it came my way, great. Otherwise, no big deal. I recommend it.

 

[malachi]

Well I feel like I’ve lost my way.

I was dating a girl since May but that ended badly really. I feel very emotionally hurt by it all. She attacked just about everything about me.

Not sure how to pick myself up and move forward.

I’m 33 now and I just seem to stumble from one disaster to another with relationships.

Has anybody else got to this point and what did they do? I think it’s my anxious preoccupied attachment style that finds a lot of things quite triggering.

I’ve also never lived with a girl and I got grilled about that as well.

I have never lived with a girl too, never been raised as an issue before.

You need to have a sit back, look at yourself and question the reason why are you attracting these types of women.

If you are a high quality man then you will attract high quality women. If you are not then you will attract the same type.

 

[MaX_PoWah]

If you're with someone that negatively affects your general state of mind then you're in the wrong relationship. By the sounds of things, it's better that this relationship ended.

Maybe spend some time on yourself before diving into the next relationship, you seem a bit all over the place and could probably do with some self improvement with your well being.

I spent two years ish on my own not in a relationship thinking I was taking some time to work out what happened with my last relationship. I spoke about her some time back in this thread whereby she went off and had a baby with another bloke then persisted with contacting me etc.

I’ve been looking at emotional maturity thinking that is something . I’ve been looking at the following links.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/...t/201603/can-you-spot-10-signs-childish-adult

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/mature-immature-relationship/995278

To be fair she is/was a high quality girl. Probably the best I’ve ever had. Has several businesses. Trouble is she’s Eastern European and I found her games and testing endless. We officially split up in October but we’ve been doing this dance with each other until a few weeks ago. Not good.

 

[labbby]

I was at a similar point just over two years ago. The conclusion I came to, was that I should focus on my self (health, hobbies, work etc) and not go looking for anyone or anything. If it came my way, great. Otherwise, no big deal. I recommend it.

this worked for me..

I did the long term living together thing then it blew up..

I started focusing on fitness and training for triathlons 4 years ago.

I’ve been amazed how many women I’ve become ‘friends’ with. I think it’s the really tight speedo’s I wear when I go swimming..

last bit was a joke but focus on other things, you may just come across someone without looking.. gl all

 

[.Lethal]

I spent two years ish on my own not in a relationship thinking I was taking some time to work out what happened with my last relationship. I spoke about her some time back in this thread whereby she went off and had a baby with another bloke then persisted with contacting me etc.

I’ve been looking at emotional maturity thinking that is something . I’ve been looking at the following links.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/...t/201603/can-you-spot-10-signs-childish-adult

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/mature-immature-relationship/995278

To be fair she is/was a high quality girl. Probably the best I’ve ever had. Has several businesses. Trouble is she’s Eastern European and I found her games and testing endless. We officially split up in October but we’ve been doing this dance with each other until a few weeks ago. Not good.

Having dated an eastern European myself in the past for 7+ years I don't get the correlation, regardless of where a girl comes from you'll find good and bad ones.

I don't really know you well enough to make judgement but this girl you think is top quality certainly seems bottom of the barrel to me with the sort of games being played.

The thing about spending time on your own isn't so much to reflect on a broken relationship but to move forward, become mentally stronger, learn from mistakes previously made so you don't fall into them again, find hobbies or interests that grab your attention where you're passionate about it, use the time for yourself rather than investing it into a relationship when you need to be giving yourself right now all the attention.

 

[Sheenzy]

Hi so i have just come out of a 15month relationship and im having some serious problems. We broke up because we just wernt able to get along consistently enough and it was me myself who ended things. We went 2 months without talking and out of no where my ex had unblocked me and started asking me how i was. I was reluctant to reply and kept it short and sweet. However she kept messaging. And had started asking me if i had moved on and apologised. I replied and expressed that she herself said she wanted nothing to do with me and now she wants me in her life as a friend and that it just doesnt make sense.

What i later noticed is she had posted a pic up with a guys hand in the picture and when i questioned her she said it was just a date and she wasnt with anyone. I explained that i would not be her plan b or chair to fall back on for if whatever that was with the guy went **** up and she didnt like it and said i was mean. She then told me she was going on holiday over the festivities and when i asked oh who with she said with one of her girlfriends and the guy she was on the date with and another guy. She had no reason to lie we arent together however i have soon found out shes only on holiday with this one guy. And only him and that he was her manager at her strip club where she works and they were a couple! Now we had conversations where she was talking about missing me and wanting to see me and even sent me a nude video of herself and all of this was done a few days before the holiday. So at this point i walked away again and said i wanted nothing to do with her and we returned to being blocked again. About 3 days into her holiday she had unblocked me on instagram and whatsapp and started following me on instagram and watching my stories. However i had seen she had told this guy she loved him. So i questioned her and ssid why are you following me and watching my life and she said she could do what she wanted and i said she couldnt and that she had lost the right to be involved in knowing my life and i removed her. At this point i expressed id figured her game out and she was nothing more then a using abusing lying golddigging girl and wanted nothing to do with her and that i was going to inform this new guy of her contacting me if it was all innocence as she made out and she got upset and blocked me and got him to block me. Anyway, i managed to get the message across to this guy and showed him the proof she had been sending me nudes and harrassing me and stalking me. And she unblocked be and said she wants nothing to do with me anymore(which she has said 100 times).
I got drunk xmas eve and made the biggest mistake of messaging her, i know right im stupid! And she acted concerned then said she couldnt talk to me i asked her if she was in love with this guy she said yes and she blocked me again.

Its been 2 days now i have not had any contact with her. And today i got a text from one of her friends where she gave him my number telling me to stay away from her and let her move on. Ofcourse i told him that in truth it was her who kept pestering me and left it as is. He claims he messaged of his own back however was on the phone to her while shes abroad telling her the conversation. And some how got my number. So she clearly got him to do this 2 days after it was done and dusted.

My questions are:
1. Is she in love with the new guy shes with aka her manager of her strip club or is she using him to get to me and for the free money?
2. Why is she getting friends to contact me after we have buried all of our dramas and moved on.
3. Is she wanting to get back with me or is she using me for own personal gain?
4. what is her need to tell so many hideous lies about me to people?
5. Do you think she will contact me again?

I want a good detailed break down from strangers that are conpletely objective.

 

[Jokester]

Delete/block her and move on.

 

[Malevolence]

Oh man. I love threads like this. The simple solution is not to date prostitutes.

 

[R.P.L]

This is a tech forum - no one here's ever had a relationship.

 

[Squid Vicious]

Strong first post

 

[LOAM]

Stop unblocking her and degrading yourself.

/Thread