The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Soldato
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On the Amiga500
With everyone and everything in lockdown, I was wondering if anyone had any ideas for my girlfriend and me to keep the relationship going while we live in different houses some 25 miles apart. I'd thought of trying to get a movie night where we watch the same movie etc. WhatsApp video calls every couple of days as well. Any other ideas? Thanks
The jellybean app is essentially a Skype replacement (Skype stopped supporting TV apps recently). You don't need a dedicated TV webcam, just use your phone and cast to TV. Works OK for our family.
 
Associate
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21 Mar 2020
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London
How are people finding the dating sites/apps now during the apocalypse? They are getting more matches, more people messaging them than normal?

Couple of decent conversations on the go but no real change over the usual (which inst much to begin with:p). Wouldn't be surprised if it tails off as people start to think whats the point with quarantine and cba with video dates etc as SideWinder mentioned. I'll report back in a couple of weeks...:D
 
Soldato
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2,825
The jellybean app is essentially a Skype replacement (Skype stopped supporting TV apps recently). You don't need a dedicated TV webcam, just use your phone and cast to TV. Works OK for our family.

Got a link for jellybean app? I did a search but couldn't find anything.
 
Associate
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Moved in to our new place February. I started a new job start of March. Then corona hit but both our jobs are fine - working from home at the moment. Mrs has said she wants a dog and that we were going to get one. Okay, have you thought about the cost? ..... What happens when we go back to work?....

I've massively felt like the bad guy today. Worked out it's about £300 a month including a dog walker for 5 days a week. We've only just started to sort our garden as it needs completely redoing (which is going to cost). She's a teacher so works long hours and I'm out the door at 6:45am and don't get back until 5:30pm.

Spending more money as it is at home in water, gas and electric and food. Don't get me wrong, I'd love a dog, but there's too much going on and uncertainty at the moment. We could be back at work next month, it could be September. Just don't know.

My counter was wait until July when we know for a fact she has 6 weeks off and I can take holiday around that time as well (going to be owed loads). Also gives us time to sort the garden.

Does this sound logical or am I just being a bad guy for the sake of it? I'd like to think the former.
 
Soldato
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England
Does this sound logical or am I just being a bad guy for the sake of it? I'd like to think the former.
No, you're not being the bad guy. With the uncertainty of how this lockdown will go it wouldn't be logical to add financial stress etc to the household. Even without covid 19 on the scene, if you've just moved house I would personally be saying hold off. Get the house sorted first and then re-assess "Can we afford a dog?" "Can we make time for walking it?" Etc.

My sister a few months back made a rush decision, went and bought a puppy that day and then couldn't handle him. He was also extremely nervous of being walked near her house due to a busy road. She didn't think it through and only had him a mere few weeks before she made the decision to re home him.
 
Soldato
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3,098
Moved in to our new place February. I started a new job start of March. Then corona hit but both our jobs are fine - working from home at the moment. Mrs has said she wants a dog and that we were going to get one. Okay, have you thought about the cost? ..... What happens when we go back to work?....

I've massively felt like the bad guy today. Worked out it's about £300 a month including a dog walker for 5 days a week. We've only just started to sort our garden as it needs completely redoing (which is going to cost). She's a teacher so works long hours and I'm out the door at 6:45am and don't get back until 5:30pm.

Spending more money as it is at home in water, gas and electric and food. Don't get me wrong, I'd love a dog, but there's too much going on and uncertainty at the moment. We could be back at work next month, it could be September. Just don't know.

My counter was wait until July when we know for a fact she has 6 weeks off and I can take holiday around that time as well (going to be owed loads). Also gives us time to sort the garden.

Does this sound logical or am I just being a bad guy for the sake of it? I'd like to think the former.

Well your name is RobDogDog and on that basis you must acquire a dog as soon as possible.

Seriously though, you're not the bad guy for being pragmatic.
 
Soldato
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Not here
Ok, Let me break a few things down.

Moved in to our new place February. I started a new job start of March. Then corona hit but both our jobs are fine - working from home at the moment. Mrs has said she wants a dog and that we were going to get one. Okay, have you thought about the cost? ..... What happens when we go back to work?....

Why are you letting her dictate this to you?!!?


Spending more money as it is at home in water, gas and electric and food. Don't get me wrong, I'd love a dog, but there's too much going on and uncertainty at the moment. We could be back at work next month, it could be September. Just don't know.

Exactly, getting a dog right now is just another bill, an UNNECESSARY bill too. Especially now you just moved into a new place

My counter was wait until July when we know for a fact she has 6 weeks off and I can take holiday around that time as well (going to be owed loads). Also gives us time to sort the garden.

Your counter should have been "If you really want a dog, then YOU can pay for it and YOU can look after it...NOT ME AND DON'T EXPECT ME TO EITHER!" Then see how she reacts.

Does this sound logical or am I just being a bad guy for the sake of it? I'd like to think the former.

No, you are not being the bad guy, you are using your head and being realistic.

What's with women and wanting dogs these days?!?!!? When really a dog is just a substitute child to them. They rather have a baby but a dog is easier so they start pushing for it. When you know, its not a good idea but a woman's decisions are largely emotional, not logical.

I have see this so many times with my friends, they move into together. Get a dog, its all good until the women falls pregnant then she wants to get rid of the dog because "its too much with the baby". Yet, getting a dog was her idea in the first place.:rolleyes:

Stand your ground RobDogDog!
 
Soldato
Joined
1 Jun 2013
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9,315
Moved in to our new place February. I started a new job start of March. Then corona hit but both our jobs are fine - working from home at the moment. Mrs has said she wants a dog and that we were going to get one. Okay, have you thought about the cost? ..... What happens when we go back to work?....

It's really not fair on a dog to leave it at home all day. Some dogs and some breeds get used to it and are okay, but most just get separation anxiety, and might eat your house. Dogs are pack animals, and the family is their pack. When you and the wife go back to work and leave it at home, it won't be nice for the dog. If you care about your pets, you've got to consider whether you can invest the time and money into giving them the life that they deserve, not just a roof over their heads.
 
Man of Honour
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Surrey
Moved in to our new place February. I started a new job start of March. Then corona hit but both our jobs are fine - working from home at the moment. Mrs has said she wants a dog and that we were going to get one. Okay, have you thought about the cost? ..... What happens when we go back to work?....

I've massively felt like the bad guy today. Worked out it's about £300 a month including a dog walker for 5 days a week. We've only just started to sort our garden as it needs completely redoing (which is going to cost). She's a teacher so works long hours and I'm out the door at 6:45am and don't get back until 5:30pm.

Spending more money as it is at home in water, gas and electric and food. Don't get me wrong, I'd love a dog, but there's too much going on and uncertainty at the moment. We could be back at work next month, it could be September. Just don't know.

My counter was wait until July when we know for a fact she has 6 weeks off and I can take holiday around that time as well (going to be owed loads). Also gives us time to sort the garden.

Does this sound logical or am I just being a bad guy for the sake of it? I'd like to think the former.
No offence intended but she sounds a lovely person just deciding something so big for the pair of you without reasonable discussion. Right now is not a time to take on any financial commitments. As mentioned above it's also not fair on the dog when you eventually return to work. For me the answer would be "No we're' not getting a dog." I wouldn't even entertain a discussion on it until the world settles down again.
 
Soldato
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Bedfordshire
It's bad enough your holidays are limited by school terms for cost and availability, but adding a dog into that mix will add further limitations to when and where you can holiday or weekends out. It's a big life changing commitment.
 
Permabanned
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Moved in to our new place February. I started a new job start of March. Then corona hit but both our jobs are fine - working from home at the moment. Mrs has said she wants a dog and that we were going to get one. Okay, have you thought about the cost? ..... What happens when we go back to work?....

I've massively felt like the bad guy today. Worked out it's about £300 a month including a dog walker for 5 days a week. We've only just started to sort our garden as it needs completely redoing (which is going to cost). She's a teacher so works long hours and I'm out the door at 6:45am and don't get back until 5:30pm.

Spending more money as it is at home in water, gas and electric and food. Don't get me wrong, I'd love a dog, but there's too much going on and uncertainty at the moment. We could be back at work next month, it could be September. Just don't know.

My counter was wait until July when we know for a fact she has 6 weeks off and I can take holiday around that time as well (going to be owed loads). Also gives us time to sort the garden.

Does this sound logical or am I just being a bad guy for the sake of it? I'd like to think the former.

Don't do it. Not the right time by the sounds of it.
 
Associate
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I think she's just gone a bit stir crazy and didn't think it through properly. We've had a chat about it and she understands my reservations. She basically said that she was thinking with her heart and me with my head. Think my reasoning was logical and just enough that she realised that it wasn't the best time. Put on hold.
 
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