Christmas jokes

Soldato
Joined
17 Jun 2012
Posts
11,259
Why does santa always come through the chimney?

Because he knows better than to try the back door.
 
Joined
10 May 2004
Posts
12,812
Location
Sunny Stafford
I had these in a text file from a year or 2 back, but I think they're all still relevant :D

- Which TV Christmas special is being filmed in Brussels this year? Deal Or No Deal.

- Why are there only 11 days of Christmas this year? Because the Three French Hens got stuck at border control.

- Theresa May has asked Santa for a home makeover this year. First thing on the list was a new Cabinet.

- What did Bruce Forsyth (RIP) say when the Christmas pheasant repeated on him? 'Good game, good game'.

- Why did Donald Trump continuously decorate the Christmas tree? Because people kept saying 'moron' to him.

- Why don't Southern Rail train guards share Advent Calendars? They want to open the doors themselves.

- What's the difference between Ryanair and Santa? Santa flies at least once a year.

- Kim Jong Un will play Santa this year in the South's annual pantomime. He said he fancied a Korea change.

- Which supermarket did best in the Holy Land? Oh Lidl, crown of Bethlehem.

- Where does Jeremy Corbyn hang his Christmas stocking? On the far left.
 
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