Caporegime
Buy him £50's worth of booze
Am Am I a bad person?... Won't lend brother money.
- Thread starter buckeejit
- Start date
Soldato
I see what your saying but I think everyone deserves a chance, especially family, I personally would give the money to him but with good a talking to also, explaining to him that I think he has been irresponsible with his finances and that I can lend/give him the money this time but don't expect to be helped next time.
You have to stick to your guns though, you can;t keep caving in every-time he asks.
If it was me and my brother was asking for money for food, and I was suspicious of what he was going to spend it on, I would take him to the shop and buy him some food rather than handing the money over.
If I said no and was wrong about what he might be spending it on, then he's going hungry unless he can think of some other way to get it.
Either way, ask me and we'll sort something out but don't take the p, basically.
If I said no and was wrong about what he might be spending it on, then he's going hungry unless he can think of some other way to get it.
Either way, ask me and we'll sort something out but don't take the p, basically.
Associate
Nope, you did right.
Offer to take him shopping and let him have £50 worth of food at your expense if your feeling like helping him.
My brother asks me for money all the time, he rarely has it because i know ill a) never see it again and b) he won't spend it on what he said he wants it for. The last ammount he wanted to borrow was £400 for a car!!
My brother asks me for money all the time, he rarely has it because i know ill a) never see it again and b) he won't spend it on what he said he wants it for. The last ammount he wanted to borrow was £400 for a car!!
The worry is then the "other way of getting it" that he might turn to. I'm not saying the younger brother in this case is going to turn to the deep, dark world of crime but in other cases you might find them doing that.
I would want to stop it personally.
Soldato
but to you, is that more of an investment? helping her through college etc, cause mine is just a sad desperate case, he's always been terrible with money and had no prospects etc, can't see me getting my money back for a long time :/
Caporegime
£10,000k+ is hardly comparable here, also i cannot see any reason why such an amount would be needed at such short notice.
Soldato
Yes, but he's already had that chance, if i'm reading the OP correctly.
Anyone who doesn't keep a bit of money aside for such events (ie not being able to eat for a week or two) doesn't really take their finances seriously imho.
Even if he was that desperate surely he could organise a small temporary overdraft with his bank.
Even if he was that desperate surely he could organise a small temporary overdraft with his bank.
Don't lend it to him under any circumstances stand your ground bud, He is in the situation he is in because of his boozing and gambling etc, your right if he can't get his priorities straight and fend for himself then why should you have to cover it for him, If you do lend it to him and he doesn't change his ways you will never get it back and when you do you'll be the bad person for asking when he is still in the same situation he is now and as he would put it i can't afford it but if your gonna demand it then here ya go - then you will fall out or rather he will hate you for making him skint again when he knows you've probably got a bit of cash saved so don't really need it.
I am saying this from personal experience really with me it's not just my older brother but my younger brother too + my mum and dad. Even when i used to help out and they'd guarentee to repay on a specific date they would never do it, but when i'd ask for the money back i am the bad person even though i was the one they came to for help, all i want back is what i have laid out which i dont think i should have had to do if they had their priorites right in the first place......but it's family and you just feel obliged sometimes, (you can chose your friend but not your family).......from leniding mney to family that hasn't been paid back to me this is how i stand now.....
Older brother owes me £937.00
Younger brother owes me £600.00
Mum owes me £2345.00
Dad owes me £80000.00 give or take i forget the exact figure
Soldato
If my brother asked me to lend him 50 quid I would hand it right over because I trust him to pay it back. He would then also will be more likely to help me out when I need a favour. You are his brother not his life coach, if you trust him to pay it back then I don't see why what he spends it on is that important.
If he was a junkie or a raving alky then obviously things would be different.
If he was a junkie or a raving alky then obviously things would be different.
All a bit pointless. As I'm assuming he has enough money to do this. He was expecting a paycheck and didn't get it.
And yes I would lend him money, but I've also leant mates money as well when they've been in trouble and for a fair bit more.
Soldato
You must be absolutely minted.
People who can't afford food perchance? Just because other people do something doesn't mean you SHOULD be able to do it too if you can't fund it.
Soldato
Then you have a better brother than i. He stole several things from me to pawn them off, reduced my father to near tears by pawning his strat and an old acoustic guitar that he inherited from somebody he was close to and quite obviously pawned off most of our Christmas gifts (since he told us what they were before hand). We know he drinks and smokes, and have found evidence of drugs so forgive me if i can see where the OP is coming from.
Soldato
From his post there isn't really any evidence that his brother is like yours though is there? The things his brother does sound quite common for a lad of 20. Only he knows whether he trusts his brother to pay it back and if he does I don't see the problem.