Post your favourite Simpsons quotes!

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I've been watching a lot of classic Simpsons recently. So many classic moments and quotes:

E.g.

Homer: Hello, My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Clerk: Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: I..don't know.
Homer: Great plan, Bart!

Ralph: Hi Lisa, Hi Supernintendo Chalmers.

Chief: You're off the case McGonigle!
McGonigle: You're off your case, chief!
Chief: What does that even mean?
Homer: It means he gets results!

:D

Post some of yours!
 
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Homer: Hello, My name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.
Clerk: Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer: I..don't know.
Homer: Great plan, Bart!
Absolutely classic! :D

One for me would be:

Apu: "Sir, you cannot smoke in here. Please, the sign is clearly posted."

*Pan to about seven huge posters advertising smoking surrounding a tiny sign saying 'No smoking'.*

It's weird, there are SO many hilarious lines that I can't think of any right now. :p
 
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There are far, far, far too many good Simpsons quotes for me to start. I'm going to have to think hard and post later my absolute favourites.

I bet the majority of quotes from people come from Seasons 1-9. After that it became meh, although still enjoyable, not comedy genius of its former self once was.


Ah, just remembered one of my favourites:

*Guys walks into quickie mart in snow gear clearly been through an ordeal, plonks a bag of ice on the table*
MAN
You've gotta start selling this for more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!!
APU:
If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it.
 
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You must be stupid than you look.
Homer: Stupider like a fox!

Man alive!...There are... men alive in here!

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important. It separates us from the animals...except from the weasel.

Rev. Lovejoy: Well I don't see you volunteering to make things better.
Marge: Well...Ok, I will volunteer
Rev. Lovejoy: I wasn't prepared for that.

I could go all day with these quotes :D
 
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Homer: "You don't understand how the creative mind works like I do. You look at this table, and what do you see? Just a table! Now, a creative person like me looks at this table and sees all kinds of creative things... But no tables."

Marge: "Homer, that's not a table, it's our dryer."

Homer: *Screams* "My files!"
 
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Homer: Well crying isn't going to help. Now, you can sit there feeling sorry for yourself or you can eat can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food until your dog comes back, or you can go out there and find your dog.
Bart: You're right!
[Gets up and leaves]
Homer: Rats. I almost had him eating dog food.

Chief Wiggum: Do it for this adorable little puppy. Look at the puppy, Marge.
Marge: That's your hat.
Lou: She's good, chief.

Lionel Hutz: Oh no, we've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son".

Ah Phil Hartman, I guess the show started going downhill since he passed on.
 
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Homer: I need your phone book for Hokkaido Japan please.
Librarian: here you go Hokkaido Japan.
Homer: can I use your phone please?
Librarian: is it a local call??
Homer: uhhhh...... Yes....
 
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Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!

Homer: Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball got run over. What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman.

Hans Moleman: I was saying Boo-urns.

Hans Moleman: Oh no...my brains. :D

Director: Up and atom!
McBain: Up and at them.
Director: Up and ATOM!
McBain: Up and atdem!
Director: UP AND ATOM!
McBain: UP AND ATEM!
Director: .. Better.

Legs: Johnny Tightlips, where'd they hit ya?
Johnny Tightlips: I ain't sayin' nothin'.
Legs: But what'll I tell the doctor?
Johnny Tightlips: Tell him to suck a lemon.

Fat Tony: Johnny Tightlips, can you see the shooter?
Johnny Tightlips: I see a lot of things...
Fat Tony: You know, you could be a little more helpful.

Fat Tony: Ahh, my Joi'zee muscle... It's so good to see you. Did you have a nice flight Johnny Tightlips?
Johnny Tightlips: I ain't sayin' nothin'
Fat Tony: I undastand.. How is your motha'?
Johnny Tightlips: Oh ey, who says I have a motha?
 
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Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?!
Marge: It's not Batman!

Homer: Well, it's like the time that your cat Snowball got run over. What I'm saying is, all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman.

Hans Moleman: I was saying Boo-urns.

Hans Moleman: Oh no...my brains. :D

Director: Up and atom!
McBain: Up and at them.
Director: Up and ATOM!
McBain: Up and atdem!
Director: UP AND ATOM!
McBain: UP AND ATEM!
Director: .. Better.

Legs: Johnny Tightlips, where'd they hit ya?
Johnny Tightlips: I ain't sayin' nothin'.
Legs: But what'll I tell the doctor?
Johnny Tightlips: Tell him to suck a lemon.

Fat Tony: Johnny Tightlips, can you see the shooter?
Johnny Tightlips: I see a lot of things...
Fat Tony: You know, you could be a little more helpful.

Fat Tony: Ahh, my Joi'zee muscle... It's so good to see you. Did you have a nice flight Johnny Tightlips?
Johnny Tightlips: I ain't sayin' nothin'
Fat Tony: I undastand.. How is your motha'?
Johnny Tightlips: Oh ey, who says I have a motha?

I'm sure i'm not the only one who just read those quotes in their head with the voices of Rainier Wolfcastle and the gangster guys :p.
 
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