Magnolia's sweet shop : a strategy game of confectionery

fringey · 26 Dec 2012 at 13:05

Am i the only one who finds this whole thread rather disturbing ..

fringey · 26 Dec 2012 at 13:06

J-FRO said:
Good afternoon Mr [FnG]magnolia sir,

I am Mr J-Frolollipop, an oompa loompa in the service of one Mr Willy Wonka.

Mr Wonka has asked me to pass to you this business proposal. Here in my suitcase I have 30 classic Wonka Bars to to give to you free of charge for you to sell at your own set rate. Should you find these bars zip off the shelf like there shall never be chocolate known to man again, then please do get in contact and we shall be happy to do business with you. Please note, that due to Mr Wonka being unable to produce Flying Saucers as all his staff are allergic to sherbet, Mr Wonka would like all payments for his confectionery in future to be in the currency of Flying Saucers. Mr Wonka feels that 4 Flying Saucers per Wonka Bar is a fair rate, but will be happy to negotiate depending on the volume required.

........................................... what did i just read...

Greebo · 26 Dec 2012 at 13:12

As your accountant I would like 10 of each product to sample as I could not work for somebody if I didn't believe in the product.

Windle · 26 Dec 2012 at 13:12

Dear Sir,

I am able to offer you the services of a fine confectioner versed in the ways of Scottish sweet making. I can at this moment in time offer you a tray comprising 25 pieces of fine Scottish tablet. The finest sugary toothrot available to mankind.

Please advise of your trade offer by return.

Regards
Windle

arctine · 26 Dec 2012 at 13:18

[FnG]magnolia;23432659 said:
I like to keep my customers so I will ignore this misunderstanding and will give you TWO SW if you provide a better, funnier bees video.

Store still open, holla back for some sweety snacks!

e : I owe that man a Bee!

1 x SW to arctine.

Why thank you.

As a reward for your generous compensation, I have hooked you up with my friend Borris who can broaden your stock. He is willing to give you 25 Rhubarb and Custard chews and 25 Jelly babies for 40 of your sugar mice. This is a one time only offer.

Also, a video for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq7ASMbOpmo

Sorry, I have no idea what it is and I dunno if it's because i'm tired but it made me laugh

Greebo · 26 Dec 2012 at 13:27

I can hook you up with a man who has Kendal mincake but it would be cash only transactions if you're interested?

danza · 26 Dec 2012 at 13:37

You clearly have the enthusiasm, if not the outright experience. I can give you 100 strawberry milkshakes, 100 beer bottles, 20 giant snakes, 50 foam bananas and 50 chocolate cupcakes for a 40% stake in your business. You are missing these from your inventory, and according to the Sweet Vendor and Supply Index monthly magazine, you will struggle without these key confections to make it beyond the next quarter (no pun intended).

Cosimo · 26 Dec 2012 at 13:53

Holliday said:
Aha yes, I understand this thread completely...

That makes you special, very special.

doofer · 26 Dec 2012 at 14:03

Notice of Legal Proceedings

Do not ignore this Post

Action is to be taken against you trading as '[FNG]magnolia's Sweet Shop' in regard to damages suffered by the Claimants:

The Diabetic Rodent Support Group (Intl.): In regard to your sale of 'Sugar Mice'

A dwarf named Gemma (UK)(Surname with-held for Legal reasons): In regard to your sale of 'Midget Gems'

Mr. Jackamo Adgeuoolu (Botswana): In regard to your sale of 'Black Jacks'

NASA (USA): In regard to your sale of 'Flying Saucers'

Action must be taken to stop the sale/advertisement of the aforementioned products within 14 Days of this Notice. Failure to comply will result in us having no option but to turn this Thread into a religious debate where we will infer god (Or your preferred deity) would only use an Apple Product, which as I'm sure you are aware would incur a multi-quoteathon the like of which has never been seen before and will quite probably destroy the Internet. Or you send us some Tic-Tacs. Orange ones. Or the Orange & Lime. Not the Mint ones. Or the new Yellow and Red ones (Yuk!).

Sudden · 26 Dec 2012 at 14:10

doofer said:
Notice of Legal Proceedings

Do not ignore this Post

Action is to be taken against you trading as '[FNG]magnolia's Sweet Shop' in regard to damages suffered by the Claimants:

The Diabetic Rodent Support Group (Intl.): In regard to your sale of 'Sugar Mice'

A dwarf named Gemma (UK)(Surname with-held for Legal reasons): In regard to your sale of 'Midget Gems'

Mr. Jackamo Adgeuoolu (Botswana): In regard to your sale of 'Black Jacks'

NASA (USA): In regard to your sale of 'Flying Saucers'

Action must be taken to stop the sale/advertisement of the aforementioned products within 14 Days of this Notice. Failure to comply will result in us having no option but to turn this Thread into a religious debate where we will infer god (Or your preferred deity) would only use an Apple Product, which as I'm sure you are aware would incur a multi-quoteathon the like of which has never been seen before and will quite probably destroy the Internet. Or you send us some Tic-Tacs. Orange ones. Or the Orange & Lime. Not the Mint ones. Or the new Yellow and Red ones (Yuk!).

*cough* If the offer above (previous page) is acceptable and you would like to take me on board as legal counsel, I could maybe make this problem go away at a far lower price.

rexehuk · 26 Dec 2012 at 14:24

First one pound fish... now this thread... I'm quite sure the end of the world is still coming, or is already here.

Jambo · 26 Dec 2012 at 14:27

Where is the shopkeeper? Helllooo!??

*looks around*

*takes 10 x Midget Gems, 10 x Kola Kubes, 10 x Sugar Mice, 10 x Black Jacks, 10 x Flying Saucers and runs off

#shrinkage

Morgoth · 26 Dec 2012 at 14:38

I operate a protection racket in the area your shop is based.

2 Kola cubes and 3 Black jacks per week please.

tidusjar · 26 Dec 2012 at 14:49

What have I just read...

Well it made me smile.

kaiowas · 26 Dec 2012 at 15:14

I am in the business of selling machinery for the manufacture of confectionery. I can provide you with a machine that will produce fudge in any flavour you desire. This machine is fully self contained and costs 2 SW per hour to run, in return it will produce 3 units of fudge per hour. The machine can be shut down at any time to reduce outgoings but will take 3 hours at full operating cost to restart production during which time no product is produced. Retooling for a change of flavour increases this time to 5 hours.

Should you wish to acquire such a device I can offer it to you at a flat rate of 80 cola cubes or on a purchase plan of 20 cola cubes up front and a weekly payment of 2 cola cubes per week for a year.

Doohickey · 26 Dec 2012 at 15:48

Magnolia = Candyman = lucy_bee

wez130 · 26 Dec 2012 at 22:30

Dear [FNG]magnolia,

Acting for the Environmental health agency, it has come to our attention that you failed to register your business with us and as such have not had the necessary checks required to open a store that trades in food. Therefore i require you to cease trading with immediate effect until you have arranged for an environmental health officer to visit your premises (virtual or physical) to inspect that you are adhering to health and safety laws. To arrange a visit, please call your local environmental health office.

Yours sincerely

Environmental health services.

LOAM · 26 Dec 2012 at 22:32

An environmental health officer from Redcar, I call shenanigans

[FnG]magnolia · 26 Dec 2012 at 22:36

doofer said:
Notice of Legal Proceedings

Do not ignore this Post

Action is to be taken against you trading as '[FNG]magnolia's Sweet Shop' in regard to damages suffered by the Claimants:

The Diabetic Rodent Support Group (Intl.): In regard to your sale of 'Sugar Mice'

A dwarf named Gemma (UK)(Surname with-held for Legal reasons): In regard to your sale of 'Midget Gems'

Mr. Jackamo Adgeuoolu (Botswana): In regard to your sale of 'Black Jacks'

NASA (USA): In regard to your sale of 'Flying Saucers'

Action must be taken to stop the sale/advertisement of the aforementioned products within 14 Days of this Notice. Failure to comply will result in us having no option but to turn this Thread into a religious debate where we will infer god (Or your preferred deity) would only use an Apple Product, which as I'm sure you are aware would incur a multi-quoteathon the like of which has never been seen before and will quite probably destroy the Internet. Or you send us some Tic-Tacs. Orange ones. Or the Orange & Lime. Not the Mint ones. Or the new Yellow and Red ones (Yuk!).

Morgoth said:
I operate a protection racket in the area your shop is based.

2 Kola cubes and 3 Black jacks per week please.

wez130 said:
Dear [FNG]magnolia,

Acting for the Environmental health agency, it has come to our attention that you failed to register your business with us and as such have not had the necessary checks required to open a store that trades in food. Therefore i require you to cease trading with immediate effect until you have arranged for an environmental health officer to visit your premises (virtual or physical) to inspect that you are adhering to health and safety laws. To arrange a visit, please call your local environmental health office.

Yours sincerely

Environmental health services.

I'm afraid that you gentlemen will have to speak to my lawyers, Sudden & Moses. I'm sure that they will be more than capable of helping you with your enquiries.

I bid you good day.

LOAM · 26 Dec 2012 at 22:40

Speak to me about these "lifted" sherbert pips, I have other parties interested.