Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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Soldato
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Need a bit of advice.

I've been chatting to a gal on PoF, after about a week I asked if she wanted to do something which she has said yes to, but the day before we were meant to meet, she text me saying that her Manager died that day suddenly, so she asked if she can rearrange, so I just let her know We can meet up when she's feeling up to it.

Now, either it's a pretty elaborate excuse to get out of a date, or she's genuine and would like to meet up.

my problem is, how long do I wait before I ask her if she is still up for going for a drink?

I've already text her asking if she's feeling any better, which she is a bit.

I'm already pretty bad at asking gal's out, even more so if I have to ask again.

What should I do? Give it a week and throw her a few texts now and again? or just leave it up to her to give me a date back.
 
Caporegime
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Would be a very elaborate excuse indeed. I think your idea sounds reasonable (standard texts and ask again in a week).

Had a date last Friday. Not only was she a great person, had a great night, but we finished the evening at the bar (been drinking wine during the date) with some nice whiskey (her suggestion). Icing on the cake. Terrible at reading people so can't figure out if she enjoyed it enough for another date, waiting for a reply....even if she does there is the slight problem of her being my colleague's daughter :o

Good luck Sinny.
 
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Associate
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Thought id give it ago for a laugh. Need some help with sending messages! i have no idea what to put tbh! had one reply, i replied back, got a reply about 4 -5 days later but thats it so far, sent out tons, they view my profile so must like my pic no? lol

message ideas welcome.
 
Soldato
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The new POF age restrictions are a joke. Guys 30+ can't email girls 18-21 and you also can't email anyone +/- 14 years of your age. Why not let people set their own restrictions?! Markus is an idiot.

I am banned now. Deleted my account because I wanted to set up with a new username and it won't let me. Think it's IP related plus some other factors. Guess I will need to wait a while and try again.

Thought id give it ago for a laugh. Need some help with sending messages! i have no idea what to put tbh! had one reply, i replied back, got a reply about 4 -5 days later but thats it so far, sent out tons, they view my profile so must like my pic no? lol

message ideas welcome.

Usually it's not easy to tell from the thumbnail. I know I view loads of profiles but don't necessarily like the pic when I see it properly or see the other photos.

Just message about something specific they have written and try and make it something funny. I prefer fairly short openers and try and include a question. Don't email anything generic like how was your weekend etc.
 

aln

aln

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The new POF age restrictions are a joke. Guys 30+ can't email girls 18-21 and you also can't email anyone +/- 14 years of your age. Why not let people set their own restrictions?! Markus is an idiot.

I am banned now. Deleted my account because I wanted to set up with a new username and it won't let me. Think it's IP related plus some other factors. Guess I will need to wait a while and try again.



Usually it's not easy to tell from the thumbnail. I know I view loads of profiles but don't necessarily like the pic when I see it properly or see the other photos.

Just message about something specific they have written and try and make it something funny. I prefer fairly short openers and try and include a question. Don't email anything generic like how was your weekend etc.

He made a judgement call based on data he has access to. You might want to use his site to find young girls to have sex with, but he doesn't want that, and I wouldn't call him an idiot for that. :p
 
Soldato
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He made a judgement call based on data he has access to. You might want to use his site to find young girls to have sex with, but he doesn't want that, and I wouldn't call him an idiot for that. :p

No I don't. When I was 31 I dated a 21 year old from POF. There is nothing wrong with that. Also there is nothing wrong with a 30 year old dating a 45 year old for example and he's restricted that.

To be honest it doesn't bother me too much personally but I think it's a stupid decision as views on age gaps are so varied, each to their own. Loads of people are unhappy about it.

I agree with his removal of intimate encounters though.
 
Associate
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No I don't. When I was 31 I dated a 21 year old from POF. There is nothing wrong with that. Also there is nothing wrong with a 30 year old dating a 45 year old for example and he's restricted that.

To be honest it doesn't bother me too much personally but I think it's a stupid decision as views on age gaps are so varied, each to their own. Loads of people are unhappy about it.

I agree with his removal of intimate encounters though.

I sent him this:

Hi Markus,

I'd like to thank you for making this site. Although I've not found someone yet, I think POF has the best offerings in the online dating market.

I applaud your attempts to get rid of those that reinforce the stigma of online dating.
However I can't see the changes in 2 and 3 having any effect?
You can set the ability to only accept messages from a specific age range in the user settings (how about making it such that by default there is a range based on your age?), but I can only see people signing up with fake ages on their profile to get around your sweeping block whilst before they found out that they would need to make another account to get around the user's preferences, which makes it easier for you to spot the fraudsters/sick people.

Also the first change, is it automated or is there moderation involved as like the profiles section, some normal words get flagged as bad words?

Sorry if this is a bit long.

Thanks for reading my message.

No reply though, would need to pay to see if he read it. :D

I think getting rid of the intimate encounters just means he has increased the number of men in the dating pool whilst before he had segregated them off (regardless if the accounts are fake or not which he has no real way of knowing).
 
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aln

aln

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No I don't. When I was 31 I dated a 21 year old from POF. There is nothing wrong with that. Also there is nothing wrong with a 30 year old dating a 45 year old for example and he's restricted that.

To be honest it doesn't bother me too much personally but I think it's a stupid decision as views on age gaps are so varied, each to their own. Loads of people are unhappy about it.

I agree with his removal of intimate encounters though.

And it didn't work out. Funny that.

Listen, it's fairly rare that a girl of that age would have anything to offer a man over 30 besides being hot. I don't have an issue with you attempting to date (or hunt sex) within the confines of the law, but let's be frank, he's probably right that those types of relationships don't work because they're generally based soley on lust on the guys part and finances on the girls part, and he's probably right that most of the guys searching like that aren't really foolish enough to think they want a relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I'm willing to bet there are exceptions to the rule, but I do think if that's enough of a problem for you to be enraged, it's saying a lot about what you're interested in and if you're not really that bothered, you should try and consider it from his point of view before insulting him. For what it's worth, I still think limiting how many messages guys can send would do a better job, but that's just me. :p
 
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Soldato
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And it didn't work out. Funny that.

Listen, it's fairly rare that a girl of that age would have anything to offer a man over 30 besides being hot. I don't have an issue with you attempting to date within the confines of the law, but let's be frank, he's probably right that those types of relationships don't work because they're generally based soley on lust on the guys part and finances on the girls.

Don't get me wrong, I'm willing to bet there are exceptions to the rule, but I do think if that's enough of a problem for you to be enraged, it's saying a lot about what you're interested in and if you're not really that bothered, you should try and consider it from his point of view before insulting him. :)

I have considered it from his point of view and don't agree with it. And I'm not enraged, I just think it's a very poor decision. I don't see why age differences should be a problem. It should simply be user choice like Gzero said.
 
Soldato
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Well, I was meant to have my date today, but I got a text basically saying that she was stuck in traffic on her way back from somewhere, this is the second one cancelled. I think if I asked for a 3rd time I'd feel rather stale and boring if she did meet up, even though it's probably genuine.

Probably the only girl close who liked 90% of the things I like to do, oh well. Don't really think I can be bothered chasing up again.

Time to look elsewhere.
 

aln

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Because things not working out is a measure of whether something is correct or not :rolleyes:

I think when we're using previous experience to defend a position, whether or not it worked out does matter. My own experiences seems to backup that it generally doesn't, and while I've already accepted there are outliers, I can still see the fellas logic.

Jambo said:
I have considered it from his point of view and don't agree with it. And I'm not enraged, I just think it's a very poor decision. I don't see why age differences should be a problem. It should simply be user choice like Gzero said.

He's talking about manipulating a userbase but you're arguing about individuals. If he's right, more individuals will have a better experience at the cost of some individuals losing a choice that is largely ill-advised anyways. I really don't get the problem you have with it.

Then again, maybe it's just me that wants in their pants to be all too quickly dissapointed by the lack of substance once we get past that point. :p
 
Soldato
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So it turns out for girls in my age range (the 21-27 sort of area) there's a little bit of code going on with dating intent, those looking for "dating, nothing serious" are basically testing the water but aren't going to go anywhere, when "looking for a relationship" seem to be way more open to actually being normal about it all/fun.

Plus I had the best date yesterday with a girl that I actually enjoyed hanging around with, few drinks, proper kiss and everything! :D was getting worried I was doing it wrong or something but a tired look today and some normal texting afterwards has made it a lot better!
 
Soldato
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Just signed up this weekend and have been chatting to one girl however the conversation is a bit one sided. I am thinking she is just too polite to say she's not interested? It's kind of confusing because she could just not respond :D

Whats the verdict?
 
Soldato
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Just signed up this weekend and have been chatting to one girl however the conversation is a bit one sided. I am thinking she is just too polite to say she's not interested? It's kind of confusing because she could just not respond :D

Whats the verdict?

ask! :) some chicks will find it hard to ignore/not reply.. kinda like i do.. even thought i try to keep it friends on kinda thing no flirting then you should get the point across.. if she is flirting then its a bit harder..

been chatting with 3 new chicks lately.. one of them i knew - well knew knew knew more like 6 or so years ago.. we used to chat and get on pretty well but then went our separate ways.. she did check my profile out and i was like "i know you from somewhere" but i wasn't 100% sure!

we've been chatting for a week now on phone etc and she is quite awesome tbh! but shes a tough nut to crack due to her trust issues with guys after her ex'es - nothing she said but she hinted that this might be the reason.. she is damn flirty! which i love.

we'll see how it goes.. :o:)
 
Soldato
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Before Christmas (early December) within a week I was txting 4 girls, messaging another 5 constantly and had 3 dates set up and ended up meeting some one before it all went to pot at the end of Febuary! Up until 2 weeks ago when I deleted my account... nothing :confused: Maybe all the girls were in a festive mood as it was so close to Christmas?!
 
Soldato
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Before Christmas (early December) within a week I was txting 4 girls, messaging another 5 constantly and had 3 dates set up and ended up meeting some one before it all went to pot at the end of Febuary! Up until 2 weeks ago when I deleted my account... nothing :confused: Maybe all the girls were in a festive mood as it was so close to Christmas?!

You quickly find there are a very select few on PoF who are genuine, the rest on there have been there since it probably opened waiting for prince charming.

I'm sorry, but if your title includes "waiting for my prince", you simply won't get one. atleast on internet dating.
 
Soldato
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The problem with PoF and many other dating websites is that it gives even the most average looking girl such a big ego! I swear to god these sites must have a ratio of 1 girl to 20+ guys, it's rediculous! Me and my brother made a fake profile on PoF with just 1 picture and a very short and blunt "About Me" to see how bad it really is... within 4 hours of logging on for the first time and not sending any messages the account was hit with 94 messages and yes that is NINETY FOUR in 4 hours!!! Needless to say I deleted my account, it all comes down to pot luck I believe whether your message is even seen yet alone replied to!

Yet 90 of those messages can be instantly disregarded due to creeps, freaks and weirdos emailing. I've never had any issues 'getting noticed'. Also rarely, if ever bumped into a girl with a big ego. Two month ago I could've given you at least 10 profile names of stunning girls that I've chatted to that was finding it impossible to bag a decent guy. Wish I could've dated them but had already found someone great at that point. They deleted messages by looking at the profile photos and not even reading it. Yes, it's vain, but looks is always going to be Number One in this game, regardless of how much people lament, moan, groan and write about it. They do it, I do it, you do it. Both sexes are guilty of that.
 

aln

aln

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You quickly find there are a very select few on PoF who are genuine, the rest on there have been there since it probably opened waiting for prince charming.

I'm sorry, but if your title includes "waiting for my prince", you simply won't get one. atleast on internet dating.

They're genuine. It's just they're also genuinly stupid. :p
 
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