Do you poo in clubs?

aldo1234 · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:03

Very drunk in a club had to take a dump, sat down and started didn't realise I had not pulled my trousers down far enough. Poo made it into the toilet but I filled one trouser leg with urine. Not sure how long I spent trying to dry it with toilet paper.

kPATm · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:03

Being a Postie I appreciate having the facilties available to have dump. And if I needs to use them I do. Beleive me I have had plenty of occasions when Im out on the street that I would give my left nut for a bog.

Uncle Petey · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:07

Make a patchwork toilet paper seat or straddle it and drop the bombs.

If it's gotta be done...

J-FRO · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:16

Guest2 · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:20

Yep. However Mission in Leeds about 8 years ago was dire - Overflowing toilets, blood (?) used condoms and tampons etc. I didn't go in them

If you can handle Sunday night Leeds festival toilets you can handle most toilets

If you need to go, you need to go. In Space a few years ago I was proper busting and there was no toilet seat, it was blocked and there was no toilet paper. Just had to hover and use my boxers and left them - after that the night was all good

Theophany · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:22

Guest2 said:
Overflowing toilets, blood (?) used condoms and tampons etc.

EdwardTeach · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:22

If you are going to do a poo in a club you need to get in early, before they get too vile

It can be amusing to do poo in a very druggy club. When you are finished you walk past a queue of clubbers who assume you have been snorting drugs; knowing smiles, nods etc. Little do they realise that you are not gurning but instead have an irrepressible smile thinking of the sewer they are walking in into!

stufflol · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:33

I try to poo in clubs , but I hover and sometimes it projectiles all over the lifted seat.

Boycey0211 · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:38

on a regular basis, doesn't matter if i've had a safety poo before going out or not, I always seem to get caught out by an unpredictable bowel.

worst occasion was in Arizona, only one bog, no lock on the door and afterwards it didn't flush. On the way out there was two rather large bikers waiting to use it, as I legged it out to disappear into the crowd I could hear them complaining how bad it was. Spent the rest of the night avoiding them.

Kaapstad · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:50

I am like Doctor Who

I go in a Turdis.

vicisthebest · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:50

I don't really poo anywhere but at home. I've had to come home from work (a school) in my lunch hour to go to the loo before now.

Rotty · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:56

HAz said:
I have to find a nice pub that looks after their toilets.

its the one thing Wetherspoon pubs are good for

Rotty · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:57

d_brennen said:
Cubicles are for administering illicit substances, silly!

1 pub in our town centre has removed cubicle doors because of this :eek:

vicisthebest · 31 Aug 2013 at 23:59

smelly_legend said:
I once heard a story at room at the top in bathgate, someone took a poo on the dancefloor.

In the thriving modern metropolis that is Halifax, there is a 'club' called The Acapulco (or Acca, to the locals). Spent a bit of time there in my youth mostly for a 'power hour' as they sold drinks, particularly VKs, for 75p before midnight. Sort of place with a mirrored ceiling and a sticky carpet, most of the people in there underage or 40ish, perving on the underage girls.

My days in the Acca are long since over but my 19 year old sister came home a few months back with a picture of the bar staff having to clean a **** off the dancefloor. Not before someone drunkenly stood in it though.
Apparently it happened fairly regularly, and that time was the second weekend in a row it had happened. They suspected someone was ****ting in a bag then ditching it, as they never caught anyone taking a ****.

Pawnless Endgame · 1 Sep 2013 at 00:03

EdwardTeach said:
It can be amusing to do poo in a very druggy club. When you are finished you walk past a queue of clubbers who assume you have been snorting drugs; knowing smiles, nods etc. Little do they realise that you are not gurning but instead have an irrepressible smile thinking of the sewer they are walking in into!

IRL laugh

Guest2 · 1 Sep 2013 at 00:17

Theophany said:

I'm not even sure what that means but im not joking. Some of the toilets in Amsterdam are terrible too. Space cake poo reaks

Destination · 1 Sep 2013 at 00:34

Clubs in Location: SW4/RH20 must be different to the ones I've seen.
A hover ^%&$ might be appropriate if desperate, but if getting plastered MR Poo will wait until later.

Biohazard · 1 Sep 2013 at 00:34

smelly_legend said:
I once heard a story at room at the top in bathgate, someone took a poo on the dancefloor.

All I could think of with the thread title was someone doing a dump on the dance floor.

I've seen a lot of **** dancing but that would take the biscuit.

A2Z · 1 Sep 2013 at 00:49

Last time I pooped in a club was last December in Thailand.

My stomach had already been messed up before I even went on my holiday, it was very on/off.

There were a couple of days when I just had the runs all day, and as we were going out clubbing literally EVERY night, there was no escaping it one night, went about 3 times within an hour or so. I LOVE toilets over there though, so much better than here where there's just a black guy trying to get your money. They give you a quick massage while you are washing your hand, and click your neck etc, well worth the £2 tip I left.

JayMax · 1 Sep 2013 at 00:50

There's absolutely no need to do loo canoe in a nightclub, I try to evacuate my bowels when I'm at my mates house just before we go clubbing. He doesn't like me doing this though.
It's just the same as staying in hotels when you're away, I visit my travelling companions room to do the daily needful and they go off it with me :confused: