Cheating

[LordSplodge]

I want to get more physical evidence inc photos, also from what im aware of this person he has been on the wrong side of the law a few times( just say a fair few hire cars) . I need to know this for sure as it might help with custody

Hopefully it's been less than six months since you found out (see below)

I'd just start divorce proceedings as soon as possible, collecting evidence isn't really going to help from now on. I'd be aware that her adulterous behaviour is not really going to be grounds for you getting custody unless you can prove it will have a continuing detrimental affect on your daughters wellbeing. A solicitor will be able to give advice on this.

2. Grounds for divorce
You must show there are good reasons for ending your marriage. You can give 5 grounds for a divorce.

Adultery
Your husband or wife had sex with someone else of the opposite sex, and you can no longer bear to live with them.

You can’t give adultery as a reason if you lived with your husband or wife for 6 months after you found out about it.

Unreasonable behaviour
Your husband or wife behaved so badly that you can no longer bear to live with them.

This could include:

physical violence
verbal abuse, eg insults or threats
drunkenness or drug-taking
refusing to pay for housekeeping
Desertion
Your husband or wife has left you:

without your agreement
without a good reason
to end your relationship
for more than 2 years in the past 2½ years
You can still claim desertion if you have lived together for up to a total of 6 months in this period.

You have lived apart for more than 2 years
You can get a divorce if you’ve lived apart for more than 2 years and both agree to the divorce.

Your husband or wife must agree in writing.

You have lived apart for more than 5 years
Living apart for more than 5 years is usually enough to get a divorce, even if your husband or wife disagrees with the divorce.

 

[roadend1981]

Lots of good advice on here.

Youve got to find out why she is cheating.there will be reason for it,and not necessarily your fault.I dont believe she has been with this guy for 7years,maybe it was an old boyfriend she had before she met you,who suddenly came back on the scene? She may be sending all these sexy text to this new guy saying that she loves him,but this may not be the case.like many women she just wants attention.shes having sex with this guy,but guaranteed if you told your wife you knew everything,and that you left her for a a month,just seeing your daughter in the meantime obviously,etc but not speaking or messaging your wife.if in this time you start to go out and enjoy yourself,if she sees you sith another unknown women even better.

It wont take long before she is begging for you back,asking for forgiveness,sharing everything she kept from you etc, where obviously you will need to decide whether you can build this trust up,and somehow repair this gaping hole of trust.If she does actually love you,and you usually have a good relationship,it may take the time apart,to realise what she has lost.

Or she may do the opposite (depending on why shes cheating,as I say theres a reason), she may end up being into this guy for real,where you have to do what everyone else on here says.seek legal advice

 

[Doohickey]

The law is skewed towards the mother over custody, even if she's the person who cause the separation.

It's just the way it is, unless there are some exceptional circumstances.

Is there any specific justification for why it's skewed this way?

 

[arknor]

You have lived apart for more than 2 years
You can get a divorce if you’ve lived apart for more than 2 years and both agree to the divorce.

one more year to go for me then

 

[checjb]

Best of luck with this, Rishy. As others have said, get some legal advice. Personally, i went for a 1hr free session first and moved on from there.
As others have said, fault is not considered at divorce. My ex cheated on me for a period of time with a married man. She then (eventually) told me that she was leaving because I was 'boring'. It was only later I found out she was shagging her married colleague. It suddenly got real for him and he dumped my ex like a hot rock and ran back to his wife and two kids.
I divorced her immediately but have had an ongoing battle over our son. I have to tread carefully as the courts will side with the mother 99% of the time. It sucks but that is the truth of the matter. And to think, I used to wonder what those guys climbing buildings in London in superhero suits were going on about. :/

Good luck. Dump her and go on with your life. As a little ray of hope, I waited until my decree nisi came through and then joined PoF. In 7 weeks (just under 2 years from that date) I am marrying my new partner. So things do work out. Oh, and I can be very confident (although I won't explain why here) that my new wife(to be) will never cheat on me.

 

[Zethor]

Oh, and I can be very confident (although I won't explain why here) that my new wife(to be) will never cheat on me.

Chasity belt? Are you sure all orifices are covered?

 

[Ingenious TROLL]

Oh, and I can be very confident (although I won't explain why here) that my new wife(to be) will never cheat on me.

What the hell man? That sounds intriguing yet worrying...

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

"Terrifying" - New York Post

"Alarming yet breathtaking" - Sugar Magazine

"It gets the hose again" - Chechjb Monthly

 

[BuffetSlayer]

Oh, and I can be very confident (although I won't explain why here) that my new wife(to be) will never cheat on me.

Heres me thinking you were alluding to a 3rd leg, but then I realised you might mean that you are going to lock her in your basement - Fritzl style!!!

 

[arknor]

Chasity belt? Are you sure all orifices are covered?

shes probably not been with a man in years.

never make this mistake like I once did.

those people have little to no interest in the activities that help bind a relationship together which is why they were bloody single for so long in the first place...

 

[glenimp617]

Lots of good advice on here.

Youve got to find out why she is cheating.there will be reason for it,and not necessarily your fault.I dont believe she has been with this guy for 7years,maybe it was an old boyfriend she had before she met you,who suddenly came back on the scene? She may be sending all these sexy text to this new guy saying that she loves him,but this may not be the case.like many women she just wants attention.shes having sex with this guy,but guaranteed if you told your wife you knew everything,and that you left her for a a month,just seeing your daughter in the meantime obviously,etc but not speaking or messaging your wife.if in this time you start to go out and enjoy yourself,if she sees you sith another unknown women even better.

It wont take long before she is begging for you back,asking for forgiveness,sharing everything she kept from you etc, where obviously you will need to decide whether you can build this trust up,and somehow repair this gaping hole of trust.If she does actually love you,and you usually have a good relationship,it may take the time apart,to realise what she has lost.

Or she may do the opposite (depending on why shes cheating,as I say theres a reason), she may end up being into this guy for real,where you have to do what everyone else on here says.seek legal advice

This is spot on!

Finally a poster who knows what he's talking about

 

[arknor]

yea have a revenge fling and if your wife sees you all the better.

best advice ever given in GD for 2 adults with a child! won't completely destroy any friendship they could possibly have for the childs sake will it.

maybe just have sex with her sister CUCKOO CRAZY hand motions

 

[Allnamestaken]

yea have a revenge fling and if your wife sees you all the better.

best advice ever given in GD for 2 adults with a child! won't completely destroy any friendship they could possibly have for the childs sake will it.

maybe just have sex with her sister CUCKOO CRAZY hand motions

I know right?

Sounds like the kind of uber advice given by a Otaku pillow hugging manga pron broski.

haha

 

[EdwardTeach]

Std test and paternity test

 

[the shadow]

 

[EdwardTeach]

Jeremy kyle show is probably a sensible option actually. They will pay for the tests, I assume you will get some cash and there is a public shaming.

 

[nucastle]

A lot of talk about 'trust' and 'building trust'.

You might very well be able to scare her off ever doing it again while building up 'trust', but the fact of the matter is that she preferred the company of another man between the sheets than she did the OP. I suspect their marriage was lacking in intimacy as well ... unless she is some kind of complete nympho.

These things are like Neo going into the matrix on multiple occasions. You do it better the next time until you nail it - You can't brow beat a woman into being attracted to you, it just doesn't work that way. There is nothing attractive about a man who wants to 'save' things - Why do you think they like danger and 'bad boys' yet complain about continually hooking up with them. Too many blokes just don't have a clue how to handle a relationship (nobody is perfect, but nobody tells them how any more) ... which is probably a big reason why infidelity is rife among women these days - brains say one thing, but hormones and urges rule the day.

 

[the shadow]

 

[BuffetSlayer]

A lot of talk about 'trust' and 'building trust'.

You might very well be able to scare her off ever doing it again while building up 'trust', but the fact of the matter is that she preferred the company of another man between the sheets than she did the OP. I suspect their marriage was lacking in intimacy as well ... unless she is some kind of complete nympho.

These things are like Neo going into the matrix on multiple occasions. You do it better the next time until you nail it - You can't brow beat a woman into being attracted to you, it just doesn't work that way. There is nothing attractive about a man who wants to 'save' things - Why do you think they like danger and 'bad boys' yet complain about continually hooking up with them. Too many blokes just don't have a clue how to handle a relationship (nobody is perfect, but nobody tells them how any more) ... which is probably a big reason why infidelity is rife among women these days - brains say one thing, but hormones and urges rule the day.

This gonna be good!

 

[roadend1981]

yea have a revenge fling and if your wife sees you all the better.

best advice ever given in GD for 2 adults with a child! won't completely destroy any friendship they could possibly have for the childs sake will it.

maybe just have sex with her sister CUCKOO CRAZY hand motions

You dont have a clue.