Soldato
Inb4 looking elsewhere at other guys.
Well my fiancé of 6 years has effectively told me she doesn't know what she wants and is feeling confused.
Basically in limbo.
This is absolutely the worst thing for me. I'm now in an unknown area sat on my bed convinced that this is the end.
She says she still loves me and I do believe her
I'm not going to be able to think of anything else.
Think I'm going to lose it all
I think I need to go to the doctor. The depression, worry, fear is going to wreck me. And it's only been a day or two
It's never been bad enough to make me go.
So you already have traits of depression? Could this be the cause of your relationship issues in the first place? Go see the doctor, it cant hurt. I did, went for CBT therapy and life is much easier now. I was like you, felt like I had a handle on it most of the time, but others saw me very differently. I want up for doing much and I guess I was boring and that didn't help relationships. So go get help, do it for you and whatever happens with your fiancé it will probably be for the best. It's not the best time to seek her support but it's a good time to show her you want to get sorted.
Apologies if I'm way off the mark with that though. Kinda relading between the lines.
Maybe you guys need a break, go do something that makes you both happy separately. If you go the therapy route, might be worth asking about relationship help too? Only if she's happy with that. Might be a considertion. There's no shame in it. 6 years is a long time to be with someone so it must be worth the effort. Just be sure not to push her away with trying to hard or too little.
So my situation hasn’t improved and I’m soon to be moving out for a few months to see if this changes the situation! What’s killing me is leaving my 4yr old, something I’m dreading!
Without sounding insensitive, for those who’ve left children behind, how did you cope?
She sounds like my ex fiance. If she can't help herself you honestly can't do a damn thing to help her either, as you'll automatically be the bad guy for even mentioning possible solutions.
My ex fiance didn't work nor did she even look for a job. I supported us completely and she used her depression as a weapon to take it out on me. I sold my very expensive gaming PC because she thought that me playing a PC game for an hour or two every 2-3 days was too much because I wasn't doing something with her. The money I got from that was automatically hers in her eyes, leading to her asking for expensive holidays etc.
You get to a point where you just cut your loses, remember who you truly are and stop taking other peoples crap. Sounds like she doesn't deserve you mate so in your position, I'd walk to be honest.
Wow, that sounds exactly like my ex wife. Aside from the gaming PC as when I was with her I didn't have one, because she was already too busy spending my wages on crap for herself....
Since the split, I honestly have never been happier!
Okay so more sort of drama even though I'm passed caring my full story pretty much is a couple of pages back.
Cope? Try and stay positive, think about the next not the now, think about what will and not what can be, there is a difference... And above all, know that what you do will make a difference, trust me, I'm a pro... Unfortunately.Without sounding insensitive, for those who’ve left children behind, how did you cope?
Sometimes, barely other times you manage to put it to the back of your mind and forget for a little while that you're not seeing your kids. It's hard, the hardest thing I've ever had to do but it does make you appreciate your time with them all the more when you are with them.
Just make sure you and your partner put the kids needs first, no using your child as a weapon etc...
Cope? Try and stay positive, think about the next not the now, think about what will and not what can be, there is a difference... And above all, know that what you do will make a difference, trust me, I'm a pro... Unfortunately.
I haven't seen my kids since boxing day as the ex cares more about hurting me than she does about the kids needs, this is not the way to go and although I am hurting I'm more concerned with the effect this is having on the two most important people in the world to me. This isn't the first time.
Zootfloot is totally right though, you may get less time with your kids but the quality of that time you have goes through the roof as whenever you see them you're making the best of it and always doing something whether that's colouring in together on a wet and windy day or running round a play centre with them or something. And they'll remember the great feelings more than the less time.
Like Zootfloot I'm not embarrassed to say I get upset about it too even when I am seeing them regularly but it is for the best! You'll see...