woke up this morning wanting to die

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SPG

Soldato
Joined
28 Jul 2010
Posts
10,230
You need to start volunteering or get a job, the world owes you nothing. You owe the world i am afraid. Get down the local Buddhist center and do some meditation, IT will sort your head out 100% or your money back (its also free)

If its any help i also get depressed on my birthday, not because of age. Because its in the middle of January, everyone is skint and cant be arsed. The weather is crap, nothing on TV its just a **** **** day.
 
Associate
Joined
25 Aug 2008
Posts
947
I had a bit of a wobbly when I recently turned 30, and applied for a job abroad. At the end of the day, your story sofar has made you what you are - why are you upset? Do you measure your goals against other peoples lives - what do you want to achieve? What would your perfect life be, perhaps even list points from 1-10 in terms of difficulty, and start crossing items of that list?
 
Soldato
Joined
23 Jul 2009
Posts
14,083
Location
Bath
There's the big "I'm on meds" thread on here with people sharing their experiences of being on them. My first week in them was fairly mental, but that passed and I would say they've had a really positive effect for me. I had to wait nearly 6 months to get therapy through the NHS and although CBT helped me cope a bit better with the anxiety, the citalopram has been more effective in my case.
 
Soldato
Joined
6 Mar 2008
Posts
10,078
Location
Stoke area
Turn 40 single, no kids no job, feeling very unhappy, most of my mates have left the country so no I feel alone, had a few flings last year.

Ive had a good 40 years but it seem now I feel like crap, I'm aging feeling that i'm getting old, I feel that life is **** and woke up crying, I was depressed end of last year and refused medication.

What do you do when you turn 40 and realised that your dreams will not come true, and feel that your waiting to die.

It all started when I found some broken asbestos in my flat it sent me into depression, been told it was low risk that i'd ever get any negative effects, it sent my anxiety levels high thinking about it.

On top of that I live alone which does not help, I just feel pretty low. i go to the gym 4 times a week.

I'm confused, this really sounds like a grass is always greener attitude.

I'm 34 in a month, been with the same girl since we were 15, married 6 years, have a mortgage, a 3 year old daughter and 10 week old son.

Love my family but 90% of the things I want to do I can't, either its too dangerous now or too expensive. Base jumping off angel falls, worth the risk? nice fast 2 seater 350z, nope, need 4 seats..

You are in the perfect position to plan your life out and do whatever the hell you want. You have a blank slate and no ties, you should be super happy.

Get a factory job for a 6 months and then go backpacking! Move abroad with your friends and do something there. I might be able to put you in touch with people in the gaming industry but you'd have to move to Gibraltar ;)

So what if your dreams haven't worked out! I should have retired 3 years ago from the RAF as a pilot and been flying for airlines since, that didn't happen but you have to move on. Make new dreams :)

Make a list of what you want to do, realise that yes, some of it will never happen, then start to plan how you'll accomplish the rest :) You can do it!
 
Permabanned
Joined
18 May 2006
Posts
9,036
Counselling will help with spotting when you unconsciously start being negative about yourself.

I used to wake up and be unable to breathe, have awful nightmares and suffer the same morning anxiety, but meds did help a lot. There is always someone weird who is going to get a rash from drinking water so don't worry about the side effects of SSRI's, just think about the benefits.

Don't worry too much about doing anything just yet, just stabilise your moods first.
Now is a good time to tackle this problem because a quick walk in the sun will help a lot.

This isn't you against the world, this is you against your self sabotaging brain. Recognise who you are really fighting here.
 
Soldato
Joined
19 Feb 2010
Posts
13,249
Location
London
Jesus Christ. You are in a position envied by many of your peers and have so many opportunities and options available to you. Where do you live btw?

I'm in a similar-ish position being single and 30+ and I'm having the time of my life!!! If you're in London/SE England then give me a shout and I'll introduce you to a new lease of life if you're the adventurous type! :)

Don't let knockbacks hit your confidence job wise. Been there and done it. No fun but you have to plough on mate.
 
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Caporegime
Joined
23 Dec 2011
Posts
32,910
Location
Northern England
Jesus Christ. You are in a position envied by many of your peers and have so many opportunities and options available to you. Where do you live btw?

I'm in a similar-ish position being single and 30+ and I'm having the time of my life!!! If you're in London/SE England then give me a shout and I'll introduce you to a new lease of life if you're the adventurous type! :)

Don't let knockbacks hit your confidence job wise. Been there and done it. No fun but you have to plough on mate.

Swingers anonymous?
 
Caporegime
Joined
13 Jan 2010
Posts
32,495
Location
Llaneirwg
I know how you feel.

My relationship of 6 years very recently ended. I have no motivation. And I genuinely don't really care about anything now. All that I cared about is gone.

I don't care about my career progression as I was working for 'us' to have a life - the job doesn't drive me
I don't want anyone else, nor will I likely find anyone better
Everything feels pointless to me
I'm also debating (but stubbornly refusing) going for depression help
Worst thing is.. It seems rational. Life to me really doesn't matter. Sleep is the best time of the day

IIt's not a nice feeling. I know it well.

If I wasn't a wimp I'd probably cut my losses. It's silly. Even though I know the inevitable will come I'm still scared about it.

Main thing for me is hope/drive. And lack there of. I cab see why people have kids to give themselves purpose. I feel purposeless

The gym thing is a cliche but it is the only thing that makes me smile. Pretty much like a shot of drugs.
Also maybe I can increase my future chances in this very appearance driven world if I look better

It's as much losing what I had and also believing I'll never get anything Better. I'm not so much crying. Just completely empty.

One thing it has made me realize completely how meaningless possessions are
 
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Soldato
Joined
14 Mar 2004
Posts
8,040
Location
Brit in the USA
Turn 40 single, no kids no job, feeling very unhappy, most of my mates have left the country so no I feel alone, had a few flings last year.

Ive had a good 40 years but it seem now I feel like crap, I'm aging feeling that i'm getting old, I feel that life is **** and woke up crying, I was depressed end of last year and refused medication.

What do you do when you turn 40 and realised that your dreams will not come true, and feel that your waiting to die.

It all started when I found some broken asbestos in my flat it sent me into depression, been told it was low risk that i'd ever get any negative effects, it sent my anxiety levels high thinking about it.

On top of that I live alone which does not help, I just feel pretty low. i go to the gym 4 times a week.

I'm 41 and feel like my life is just starting! Just finished my degree, have 2 perfect little kids, a great job, and loads of possibilities of going further in the 20-25 years before I retire :)

40 is not old - you're in your prime!
 
Caporegime
Joined
23 Apr 2014
Posts
29,255
Location
Dominating rooms with symmetry
Oh, I also have zero friends. I just made my life my fiance. Looks like it was a bad decision.

It's always a bad decision to ditch your friends just because you're in a relationship/married. Did she not like your friends? I have a close friend who's soon to be other half is wanting to move down south because she absolutely despises him going on lads nights out with us.
 
Caporegime
Joined
13 Jan 2010
Posts
32,495
Location
Llaneirwg
It's always a bad decision to ditch your friends just because you're in a relationship/married. Did she not like your friends? I have a close friend who's soon to be other half is wanting to move down south because she absolutely despises him going on lads nights out with us.

I moved for a job. And to be honest I was happy with doing everything with my ex. It's only bitten me now. Without my family going through this.. I dead to think really
 
Soldato
Joined
9 Jun 2005
Posts
13,958
Its hard I feel embarrassed to, its not that easy. I'm not planning it but i do think it often.

dont feel embarrassed ! this is half the problem. there's a massive stigma attached to depression/anxiety and especially on the medication side of things

the reality is that many many people have been through what your going through (sure the stats are something like one in four) and many of those have came out the other side a hell of a lot better for it

go to you doctors for a chat. what have you got to lose ?

the right medications will definetly stop the anxiety and worrying side of things. which then gives you time and space to sort out the causes or work out what the causes are.

your not alone in this. theres a big recent thread on it that i would fully recommend reading
 
Soldato
Joined
28 Nov 2004
Posts
16,024
Location
9th Inner Circle
It's always a bad decision to ditch your friends just because you're in a relationship/married. Did she not like your friends? I have a close friend who's soon to be other half is wanting to move down south because she absolutely despises him going on lads nights out with us.

Agreed, why ditch your friends? A relationship and friends aren't mutually exclusive.

If your GF/BF wants you to not have friends it's a control thing.
 
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