Paying for your own meal at a wedding?

Washout

Washout

Washout

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BuffetSlayer said:
This way is cheaper but not without issues.

Food hygiene is important, and whilst everyone does know a granny that loves baking or making food - not everyone has the same standard of food hygiene. Giving your guests food poisoning is just not cool.

Also, as my family are currently finding out - the venues themselves may not be overly clean or aired, nor the family helpers too good on their hygiene standards.

We went to a family wedding reception weekend before last in a function room of a purpose built club, and at least 14 people that we currently know of have picked up flu like symptoms, chest infection and sickness/diarrhea bugs, including the bride. All were there and all started getting symptoms at roughly the same time. Some of the people have been really poorly (and still are). OK, you could say it is simply coincidence, but it would be spooky if it was :)
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Sleuthing skillz kicking in here.
Posters username... check
Buffet.... check
People falling sick by the wagon load... check

Case closed, you oughta be ashamed!
 

arknor

arknor

arknor

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covenantuk said:
I don't see a problem with asking - your guests can always refuse.

In Spain, wedding gifts are generally in cash and it's generally accepted that your wedding present to the couple will cover the cost of the wedding meal PLUS whatever you want to give them e.g. For my wife's cousin's wedding we gave 2 x 70Euro to cover the meal, plus a gift on top.

In my view that's FAR more sensible than a couple starting marriage by running up a £20k-£50k debt for a wedding day.
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people shouldn't have a wedding they can't afford
 

Feef

Feef

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Amleto said:
;)

The amount gifted in the bags isn't particularly related the meal/venue as I understand. Guests are expected to give a cash present. This is philosophically a lot different than getting guests to pay for their own meal. Especially considering that the gift is for the bride/groom and they don't traditionally pay for the meal...
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The amount given is generally dictated by your relationship to the couple, with closer relatives giving more. Believe it's around £16-25pp for general friends and escalates from there. Everyone then writes down how much they gave in a book, so that we know how much we should be giving them back when they get married. If they already are married, sucks to be them, I guess :p

At the same time, I wouldn't have turned any friends away for not giving us money. Of the 550 people who were there, only about 50 were foreign friends, so if they couldn't afford it, I'd rather just have them there, and the difference in how much we received would be negligible.

I never actually looked at our book, wife's parents dealt with everything. They also paid for the wedding up front (food, dress hire, photographs), then took the costs back from the money given. Still left us with a few grand after it was all covered.

Bizarre, stressful and often frustrating experience, but certainly memorable.
 

Kenai

Kenai

Kenai

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Otherwise known as the scaredy cat or chicken approach, where you've completely bottled telling them why you actually don't want to attend and made up a lie to avoid any sort of confrontation :p
 

OpenToSuggestions

OpenToSuggestions

OpenToSuggestions

Soldato
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There is a hidden motive....his mum is reference on a job I have been offered. I was given two days (not working days!) one Friday to submit online a personality reference who was not family related and has known me 5+ years. She provided her details quickly and was willing to help.
This is a job that will be really good. I am sure many read my posts on a rubbish job I was in around a year ago. My current place I don't think will last much past Christmas.

Whilst I am quite annoyed and am usually very blunt with my feelings (I don't dance around the subject) I feel I have nothing to gain here.




I could just poo through his letterbox though, as this is GD :p.
 
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Kenai

Kenai

Kenai

Soldato
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Until the whole plan unravels when your other half updates Facebook with "jus chillin with bae watchin x fac at home #quietone #eveningin" :p
 

Anchundan

Anchundan

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Feef said:
The amount given is generally dictated by your relationship to the couple, with closer relatives giving more. Believe it's around £16-25pp for general friends and escalates from there. Everyone then writes down how much they gave in a book, so that we know how much we should be giving them back when they get married. If they already are married, sucks to be them, I guess :p
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Of all the weddings I've been to out here (and I go to about 2 a year) I don't think I've given less than £50!! Thought that was the minimum! I was told 800rmb was an appropriate amount (8 being lucky), so that's normally what I give to friends (about £80).

Feef said:
I never actually looked at our book, wife's parents dealt with everything. They also paid for the wedding up front (food, dress hire, photographs), then took the costs back from the money given. Still left us with a few grand after it was all covered.
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Exactly this. The wedding/meal is already paid for, but the money goes towards it / covers the expenses.
 
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