husband cash in a divorce 15 years ago is told he must up her maintenance
- Thread starter Barham2016
- Start date
Man of Honour
It is a newspaper story so perhaps there is more to it for the Judge to make what sounds like a stupid decision.
Soldato
Greebo;30480292 said:
...........and then totally disregard it unless it's in favour of the woman
Even if I wasn't fat, bald, ugly & skint I don't think I'd ever propose to my missus and would rather stay as BF/GF forever because you never know when things will change for the worst and the inner crazy she-bitch breaks out from that deep hidey whole she'd been stored away in until the breakup
Soldato
Heh - when I got divorced I forced the lawyers to remove the clause that allows for my ex to claim any money from me further down the line. She will never be able to claim anything from me ever.
Soldato
So a clean break then.
Associate
I don't know all the in and outs of this case (but then nor does anyone else in this thread) and she certainly seems to have made some poor choices.
But..
If I can counter some of what has been said.
I have been married for about 20 years. Best thing I ever did. Not that long into our marriage my wife and I made a decision that she would change career to be a teacher. Number of reasons for that - she didn't care for her current role etc - but the main reason was we saw it as a good way for us to set ourselves up to have a family. At that point our incomes started to diverge. This has continued ever since. We have 2 kids which she has done a fantastic job of being primary carer to, and has supported me in my career such that I now earn a very good salary. She is still a teacher but is now part time. In the past she has been offered promotions that would have enhanced her earnings but we decided not to as it would have interfered too much with our home life and the extra money was not worth it.
If she had pursued her teaching 'career' then she would now be mid level management with a c50k salary.
If we divorced now she could never make back her career. She would always be earning less than me as a result of decisions she took for our collective family. I would be expected to support her until such time as the kids left home but beyond that she would be on her own.
In our case she would still work etc but the point I am making is she sacrificed income for our collective endeavour. She risks being burned by that decision if we ever divorced (which isn't likely)
But..
If I can counter some of what has been said.
I have been married for about 20 years. Best thing I ever did. Not that long into our marriage my wife and I made a decision that she would change career to be a teacher. Number of reasons for that - she didn't care for her current role etc - but the main reason was we saw it as a good way for us to set ourselves up to have a family. At that point our incomes started to diverge. This has continued ever since. We have 2 kids which she has done a fantastic job of being primary carer to, and has supported me in my career such that I now earn a very good salary. She is still a teacher but is now part time. In the past she has been offered promotions that would have enhanced her earnings but we decided not to as it would have interfered too much with our home life and the extra money was not worth it.
If she had pursued her teaching 'career' then she would now be mid level management with a c50k salary.
If we divorced now she could never make back her career. She would always be earning less than me as a result of decisions she took for our collective family. I would be expected to support her until such time as the kids left home but beyond that she would be on her own.
In our case she would still work etc but the point I am making is she sacrificed income for our collective endeavour. She risks being burned by that decision if we ever divorced (which isn't likely)
Caporegime
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That's her choice though, and even if you stayed married, you could lose your job, struggle to find another one while she gets the offer to go back to work full time and start her career.
Businesses fail, jobs are lost, entire industries go under . The assumption that because you guys made a choice for her to give up her career means that situation is assured till retirement if you stay married is mental and courts shouldn't treat their decisions as if that is a fact.
On the other side, in divorce a woman will often be given relatively high alimony based on current income of the couple, ignoring things like money saved by owning a house/etc, but you'll find a man(if he's the bread winner) pays for her lawyer, often has to sell a house and now has to support the ex while having half his money missing and being unable to afford a new house... it's not exactly great for men.
The issue is, he's expected to pay to keep her exactly as she was money wise... but he's expected to sacrifice massively.
Life changes, many people outside or inside of marriage lose jobs, change careers, end up losing money or having to go back to work. What is it that means if you get divorced a woman is entitled to maintain her lifestyle while married for well, in this case 15 years, when no one else who is married or who was never married has that assurance? The situation is ridiculous.
Businesses fail, jobs are lost, entire industries go under . The assumption that because you guys made a choice for her to give up her career means that situation is assured till retirement if you stay married is mental and courts shouldn't treat their decisions as if that is a fact.
On the other side, in divorce a woman will often be given relatively high alimony based on current income of the couple, ignoring things like money saved by owning a house/etc, but you'll find a man(if he's the bread winner) pays for her lawyer, often has to sell a house and now has to support the ex while having half his money missing and being unable to afford a new house... it's not exactly great for men.
The issue is, he's expected to pay to keep her exactly as she was money wise... but he's expected to sacrifice massively.
Life changes, many people outside or inside of marriage lose jobs, change careers, end up losing money or having to go back to work. What is it that means if you get divorced a woman is entitled to maintain her lifestyle while married for well, in this case 15 years, when no one else who is married or who was never married has that assurance? The situation is ridiculous.
Caporegime
I agree that there are plenty of situations where it is entirely fair for a partner to support the other one if they get divorced (mainly for the reasons Royal Fleet has given) however I think in the majority of cases this is not the reality of the situation.
Its far too complex a scenario to put into black and white arguments and whilst some people miss out, others cash in. Should you be entitled to profit from your partners continued success after you have split? No, probably not.
Perhaps in the future these things will be required to be put into legally binding documentation that is periodically updated every few years to reflect change in circumstance.
Its far too complex a scenario to put into black and white arguments and whilst some people miss out, others cash in. Should you be entitled to profit from your partners continued success after you have split? No, probably not.
Perhaps in the future these things will be required to be put into legally binding documentation that is periodically updated every few years to reflect change in circumstance.
Soldato
Royal Fleet;30481799 said:
So you're saying you didn't make any sacrifices/decisions which potentially hampered your career for the benefit of your family?
Didn't take a risk on applying for a new position with higher earning potential because you wanted to ensure a stable income for your family?
Unable to make a move to your dream job in another city because you didn't want to move the kids away from school?
In reality, both parents make sacrifices for the family, but it seems that only the mum is ever compensated for that if the relationship breaks down...
Soldato
As the chance of divorce these days is so high, there doesn't seem to be any reason to marry anymore. Too much at stake for the man, for very little in return.
Caporegime
Diagro;30482889 said:very little in return?
really?
Outside of religious beliefs, what does a piece of paper telling you you're married and a ring actually do?
If anything you end up worse off right away due to the cost of the wedding. I mean even a relatively cheap wedding is about 8 grand.
Man of Honour
Diagro;30482889 said:very little in return?
really?
You're right.
He meant absolutely nothing in return, other than the warm fuzzy "we're married" feeling.