Married Couples : Finances Split or Combined?

Spook187 · 7 Mar 2017 at 19:38

Own accounts and i pay for everything, i even give my Mrs money each each week to top her pathetic money she gets from this country being sick for 9 years.

Roar87 · 7 Mar 2017 at 19:42

SpeedFreak said:
But where's the cut-off? 20k, 50k, 100k?

If she won £100k I wouldn't expect £50k in my bank account, I'd expect she'd spend a lot of money on both of us (home improvements, holidays), treat us both to our own things and keep money for a rainy day. I'd do the same thing.

Energize · 7 Mar 2017 at 20:38

dowie said:
So would you/do you pay an allowance to your partner if/when she takes time off to have kids etc..?

I think that would come under the umbrella of family expenses that would need to be paid into the joint account.

Three very different situations being talked about in this thread though, relationship, marriage, and kids.

dowie · 7 Mar 2017 at 20:44

Energize said:
I think that would come under the umbrella of family expenses that would need to be paid into the joint account.

Three very different situations being talked about in this thread though, relationship, marriage, and kids.

Indeed, I reckon having kids would quite likely change some of the situations outlined in this thread- though I'm not quite following your reply - do you mean to imply that she wouldn't have disposable income if she quit her job to look after kids or that she'd essentially take her disposable income for stuff she wants to buy for herself out of the joint account? Am not criticising either way am finding this thread quite interesting.

I was assuming that people keeping individual accounts and a joint account would simply be using the joint account for shared expenses/bills etc...

SpeedFreak · 7 Mar 2017 at 20:48

I guess it comes down to your definition of "shared expenses". It doesn't have to mean equal.

shadow_boxer · 7 Mar 2017 at 20:49

Wife and I have joint accounts. Both our salaries go into one account and we have other joint accounts for savings. Property is in both names as are the credit cards. I can understand it from both points of view but we felt this was right for us and we both knew what it meant.

Luckystrike123 · 7 Mar 2017 at 20:52

Married for 4 years and had a joint account for 6+. Any money either of us earns is joint and wouldn't have it any other way.

The Mad Rapper · 7 Mar 2017 at 20:56

Rifte said:
I have been married for coming on 14 years and even before we were married my wife and I always shared our income.

In short it all went into one pot. We each had a debit card and could access the funds as easily as each other.

I did not keep tabs on her spending, and she did not on mine.

When I was employed I always earned a lot more than her but our view was that it I was poor, so was she, and if I was rich, she was as well.

After we had children my wife had to leave her work to become a FT mum and we still maintained the same viewpoint, despite her income being ZERO.

It is clear though that for some couples that there is a 'mine and yours' mentality. Both partners would have their salaries go into differing bank accounts which only they could access, then they would both standing order an amount into a 'house' bank account. This amount could be the same as each other, or they could decide how they want to split financial responsibility.

It always seemed a strange setup to me, but I have enough friends and acquaintances who do the 'split' thing that makes me think that perhaps it is my view that is out dated?

Interesting to get a few views on this.

This is what we do. You are either married or not. Separate finances are nonsensical for married couples.

Wink · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:00

Have had a shared bank accounts since we bought a house together, a few years before we were married. From that point on we were going to share the rest of our lives so why wouldn't money be the same?

I accept everyone's different but I do struggle with the view on keeping money separate. I earn a fair bit more but from my perspective that really does not matter. We are a family, we are spending our lives together and what's mine is hers and vice versa.

Hotwired · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:11

Would make for a wonky partnership in the common scenario of a woman giving up any major employment to be a mother if the father refused to give equal access to the finances.

Freefaller · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:12

I think it's great that people pool all their money together and withdraw an allowance for disposable income. If you budget it correctly, it's actually more efficient than just transferring only the household expenses into a joint account. It's one less step to do.

If you're a single income family, it makes no difference. You need to pay the bills, and food and so on. And still have a life. That's what being in a relationship is about - sharing and trust no?

dowie · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:13

SpeedFreak said:
I guess it comes down to your definition of "shared expenses". It doesn't have to mean equal.

I'm not sure what you mean - by shared expenses I mean bills, mortgages, food etc.. i.e. spending on day to day things that are shared by both.

Boge · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:20

Been together 28 years and always had separate bank accounts along with a joint account for monthly outgoings.

Six figure income is no more now, but we don't have kids and since I gave up the day job to look after our not very well dog, we still do OK.

Marriage is a partnership.

SpeedFreak · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:21

dowie said:
I'm not sure what you mean - by shared expenses I mean bills, mortgages, food etc.. i.e. spending on day to day things that are shared by both.

I got the impression that when some where talking about shared bills they were referring to 50/50 split of costs.

dowie · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:24

SpeedFreak said:
I got the impression that when some where talking about shared bills they were referring to 50/50 split of costs.

I'm talking about one partner who ends up without an income and asking what happens in the scenario of them both having maintained joint accounts and a shared account for shared expenses etc..

doe the other partner pay an allowance to the one without an income (due to kids, redundancy etc..)?

The one answer I've had so far is that they'd pay into the joint account though I'm not sure what that means in terms of disposable spending - does the joint account then get used for more than shared expenses?

Boge · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:25

PS. Said dog (English Springer) will shortly be reaching 100 years old (in dog years)

SpeedFreak · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:28

dowie said:
I'm talking about one partner who ends up without an income and asking what happens in the scenario of them both having maintained joint accounts and a shared account for shared expenses etc..

doe the other partner pay an allowance to the one without an income (due to kids, redundancy etc..)?

The one answer I've had so far is that they'd pay into the joint account though I'm not sure what that means in terms of disposable spending - does the joint account then get used for more than shared expenses?

If we were in that situation I would pay the joint account and my wife separately. Currently I transfer more to the joint to ensure we both have (give or take) the same disposable each month.

wez130 · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:31

We both share our income and outgoings and we both save together. There is no 'mine and yours', our finances are both of ours.

MOOGLEYS · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:31

We have a single joint account always have. Different things work for different people.

dowie · 7 Mar 2017 at 21:37

SpeedFreak said:
If we were in that situation I would pay the joint account and my wife separately. Currently I transfer more to the joint to ensure we both have (give or take) the same disposable each month.

that sounds like quite a good idea, keep it balanced/equal even though you're maintaining separate accounts