I don't know if I want kids or not
- Thread starter redrabbit29
- Start date
Soldato
I think a lot of this sits in real world mechanics though.
Today its usually a necessity that a couple both work. If they have kids and maintain their careers without family help they then delve into the realms of expensive childcare.
The most expensive part of having a child isn't the nappies or the clothes or the food, its the childcare or the loss in salary if one of the parents quits work.
The comparison to the East is not 100% relevant, a lot of them live in joint families which means they can have their childcare options sorted easily.
Soldato
Not wanting kids and wanting your own space and being free to do whatever you want doesn't make you selfish.
Saying "I'm going to have kids because I want them" is just as "selfish" as saying you don't.
Saying "I'm going to have kids because I want them" is just as "selfish" as saying you don't.
Soldato
Soldato
I don't want kids personally. I have a nephew who I dote on and that's enough responsibility for me. 
Man of Honour
I don't want kids personally. I have a nephew who I dote on and that's enough responsibility for me.
I have a "cool Uncle" that I used to have a huge amount of fun with, and was less strict than my parents - it's a good relationship to have
Soldato
I have a "cool Uncle" that I used to have a huge amount of fun with, and was less strict than my parents - it's a good relationship to have
Yeah it's cool.
Soldato
- Joined
- 21 Apr 2007
- Posts
- 6,590
You are kidding right?
Yeah because we're all to blame for rising prices and stagnating wages....the financial burden of raising a child this day and age is completely different to the 60s or 70s.
Amen to both of those statements.
I was on the fence for a long time but I'm glad we had a kid. Watching him level-up is so much more satisfying than anything RPG.
Having said that, having kids is a big commitment. It's consumes all of your time and money and can negatively affect your career. The lack of sleep, the money worries and losing your old life can be hard-going.
Who cares? Is our British bloodline so important?
Not reallly. I never understand this mentality. Or the "We need kids to keep our name going"
Soldato
Having kids myself I can't imagine my life without them in it. Before I had kids it was hard to imagine my life with them in it and how it would change, you just don't know, it's nothing that can be told to you by others.
I do however think the reasons given here for not wanting kids sounds very self centred. I put it down to the material temptations of modern life being allowed to win out over more traditional family values. Sign of the times.
I do however think the reasons given here for not wanting kids sounds very self centred. I put it down to the material temptations of modern life being allowed to win out over more traditional family values. Sign of the times.
Associate
- Joined
- 30 Aug 2014
- Posts
- 668
Most men don't want kids. That's why traditionally women brought kids up while the men buggered off somewhere and carried on their lives as usual. It really only affected the mother's life and since female brains are wired to nurture their lives weren't affected negatively either.
Nowadays men see kids as their responsibility as much as their partner's and to that the answer is almost always nah... I know guys that didn't want kids but had them anyway and it can really change your personality - but analysing how your life will be if you had kids you are really putting yourself in the mother's shoes if you are thinking about changing nappies, taking them to school, dealing with them crying etc... what about teaching them to play an instrument with you, going with them to football matches, camping, LAN party?
It's understandable that you don't want to deal with "bringing up" kids... but honestly unless you are a single dad then leave that to your partner. You will find that you bond best with the kids when they are a little older as that is the nature of men and once bonded you will be glad you had them.
Nowadays men see kids as their responsibility as much as their partner's and to that the answer is almost always nah... I know guys that didn't want kids but had them anyway and it can really change your personality - but analysing how your life will be if you had kids you are really putting yourself in the mother's shoes if you are thinking about changing nappies, taking them to school, dealing with them crying etc... what about teaching them to play an instrument with you, going with them to football matches, camping, LAN party?
It's understandable that you don't want to deal with "bringing up" kids... but honestly unless you are a single dad then leave that to your partner. You will find that you bond best with the kids when they are a little older as that is the nature of men and once bonded you will be glad you had them.
Wow, that's an outdated view.
Soldato
You know what's even more self centred? People wanting and having kids and causing a massive burden on the environment and planet. You know what else is self centred? People who have hereditary diseases still having kids because "THEY want them" without any form of care for the childs well being.
If you like kids so much, why not adopt one of the many million children who don't have a family? Oh you want to have your own? How selfish of you.
Not having kids isn't self centred in the slightest, it's a personal choice, and parents who think people are "selfish" or "self centred" for not wanting kids whatever the reason need to pull their heads out of their asses.
You know what's worse? People who are self centered then have children and do a **** poor job of raising them
I'm actually not totally against the idea of fostering. While I'm pretty certain I don't want my own biological kids, I quite like the idea of fostering a teenager whose biological parents 'really wanted kids' but didn't have the reflective intelligence to realise that they're actually rather dumb and woefully unequipped to be humans, nevermind parents, and therefore brought another potential screw up into the world to join the gang of millions of other screw ups
I think I'd get a lot of satisfaction out of teaching a 16yo troubled dude how to wire a plug, build a house, throw a right hook, frame a roof, build a PC. drive a car, chase girls, plan for his future, pick a good career (not follow your heart and the money will follow garbage), spot me at the gym, and all those things I would've killed for my father to teach me, but never had. I think I'd find a lot of satisfaction in that.