I think they just want a guy that is not lazy after a year or so still works out etec and tries but how many nice guys do that?
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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I think they just want a guy that is not lazy after a year or so still works out etec and tries but how many nice guys do that?
Relationships are tough. More so than ever people expect that perfect person (or close). That's hard enough to find and over time is even rarer.
If people want relationships that last have to get out of this candy shop mentality.
Or just be happy alone
If people want relationships that last have to get out of this candy shop mentality.
Or just be happy alone
People (especially woman) comparing themselves and their lives to others, and always coming up short. Now, it's not just comparing themselves in look and clothes to their friends, it's about social media, photoshopped magazine covers, movies and books pretending life is a Disney story. The myth is being peddled that you can "have it all". They want a man that is all things to them that "makes them happy", a life of luxury, complete happiness all the time, and life isn't like that. Yet rather than try to work towards happiness, they throw away what they have for the hope of something better down the line, some greener grass on the other side of the fence.
This impossible ideal is one of the reasons men are giving up on relationships. They can't magically make other people happy, and the pressure and rejection is just putting men off from trying. Why constantly fail at making others happy, when you can make yourself happy?
Yep, being happy on your own in the answer. Realistically when I think about it the only thing I miss about a relationship is regular sex, and maybe having someone to go out for a meal with more often. Get used to eating out on my own and then that's only one reason . I'm very happy enjoying my own company and doing what I want when I want and its also a hell of a lot cheaper as well!
Caporegime
I don’t think that’s the case for everyone, as long as you can be responsible for your own happiness and come to terms with the fact a relationship isn’t there to make you feel better 24/7 then you can do just fine in one.
Many though have it in their head that a relationship will change their life and all of a sudden make them a better person, what tends to happen to people like that is they deteriorate as the added pressure and responsibility of keeping another happy whilst they themselves aren’t just doesn’t work out. Often the case in younger relationships but many don’t grow up or out of these patterns of behaviour.
Many though have it in their head that a relationship will change their life and all of a sudden make them a better person, what tends to happen to people like that is they deteriorate as the added pressure and responsibility of keeping another happy whilst they themselves aren’t just doesn’t work out. Often the case in younger relationships but many don’t grow up or out of these patterns of behaviour.
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Yeah I don't think that most men need much to be happy. All we need for the most part is something to keep us busy (sense of purpose), a bit of adventure/escapism (hobbies/sports) and a social life (buddies). Biological urges can be dealt with in a multitude of ways. 
The problem is keeping someone else happy at the same time. A lot of women simply want too much and think they can change you if you don't fit their mould.
It's what puts me off right now with the people I meet. I live very cheaply debt-free, almost mortgage-free and have my affairs all in order. I don't see the sense in thinking with my todger and throwing it all away. I've had a couple of lucky escapes!
The problem is keeping someone else happy at the same time. A lot of women simply want too much and think they can change you if you don't fit their mould.
It's what puts me off right now with the people I meet. I live very cheaply debt-free, almost mortgage-free and have my affairs all in order. I don't see the sense in thinking with my todger and throwing it all away. I've had a couple of lucky escapes!
^ Exactly my thought process at the moment. Just look after number one
I have a 6 year old to keep me amused too. She's a handful, but well worth the 5 years of crap I put up with from her Mum before we broke up.
I have a 6 year old to keep me amused too. She's a handful, but well worth the 5 years of crap I put up with from her Mum before we broke up.
Well, my situation has escalated somewhat in the last 48 hours. My ex is now asking me for money. Specifically the money she loaned me to pay bills when I left my job, in order for me to continue further study. We discussed this at length many many times and she was adamant she didn't mind as long as I paid her back through out of term work and when I graduate. I've given her so much over the years and not asked for anything before. No idea how to proceed with this.
Did you sign a loan agreement? If not, you can tell her you don't have the money, and that's that. You're a poor student now. As far as you're concerned, it was a gift.
I would not rise to it at the end of the day you was in a relationship at that point now you're not what ever you say though make sure it's in writing you will now find out the real women she is
<shrug> It's not like you can keep in contact with the family now she's dumped you. You going to go to family events where she turns up with her new boyfriend at some point? You think they are not going to side with her in the end because she's family? It would be very unusual if the relationship with the family could survive, and at some point you're going to do something the ex doesn't like (new girlfriend) and then she's going to come out with all these "stories" to slate you anyway.
Plus you're a poor student that's just lost the person who was going to help support you through your training. You haven't got the money.
How about you ask her to pay back all the money you've spent on her, and see if that goes down like a lead balloon?
It's a hard truth, but they are her family and not yours. Whatever she says to them is of little consequence, over the coming weeks / months / years they will stop being part of your life.
You don't have the money to repay her at the moment, end of story.
Caporegime
3 word response to her is all that's required "Tour is over"
Associate
tek81
Sorry to hear you are having more trouble.
Funnily enough i was watching the Lord Mayors Parade on television at the weekend and saw a group called the Worshipful Society of Apothecaries (something like that), not sure how much of a cult they are or whether they only cover London but apparently they are a charity that support Medical Students which may be worth investigating.
As for her, as you say there is no formal agreement with terms so she can't force you to repay her (Judge Rinder appearance incoming), tell her that now she has left you, you do not have the means to repay her and that as per your previous discussions you will repay her when you have the means to do so (part-time work / when you graduate). I wouldn't worry too much about her family, if you are that close to them and they know you well they should see past her comments.
If you don't have kids or a house together you should consider it all a bullet dodged as she seems pretty shallow.
Sorry to hear you are having more trouble.
Funnily enough i was watching the Lord Mayors Parade on television at the weekend and saw a group called the Worshipful Society of Apothecaries (something like that), not sure how much of a cult they are or whether they only cover London but apparently they are a charity that support Medical Students which may be worth investigating.
As for her, as you say there is no formal agreement with terms so she can't force you to repay her (Judge Rinder appearance incoming), tell her that now she has left you, you do not have the means to repay her and that as per your previous discussions you will repay her when you have the means to do so (part-time work / when you graduate). I wouldn't worry too much about her family, if you are that close to them and they know you well they should see past her comments.
If you don't have kids or a house together you should consider it all a bullet dodged as she seems pretty shallow.
Ex of 6 years is in hospital, not in a good way. We split on good terms and although we are not friends as that would never work, we have been in touch now and then. When I heard the news I rang her as I was concerned. Told my current GF this last night and all hell broke lose. 
Caporegime
Has she seen it as you still having feelings towards her?
Associate
Told my current GF this last night and all hell broke lose.
Not surprising is it? You must like arguments!