14 year old daughter and 16 year old boyfriend.

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Soldato
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had a talk with her then with them both together seems ok no sex.if he has sex with her he is breaking the law.all seems ok a bit of respect both ways?

Honestly, they are going to be sexually active. It would be better for you to acknowledge this and ensure that they have access to condoms and a safe environment to have sex. I saw it too many times where parents forbid their kids from having sex and the kids ended up doing it in bushes/bathrooms or other places, not practicing safe sex and having no one to talk to about it.

My parents provided condoms in the bathroom, and were very much of the view that if I wanted to talk to them then I could and I wouldn't be in any trouble and no judgement would be made. This is a much healthier approach than trying to forbid them from doing anything.
 
Caporegime
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she wont take **** and yes we have had the talk she hates kids anyway.**** hot boxing stance too i used to coach.my son 18 years good boxer the boyfriend will be frightened of him.im just a bit scared i think.no longer in control.open door cant see that happening.


Helicopter parenting 101. You seem fairly confident that she's got her head screwed on right and she's educated on the birds & the bees, so keep an eye on things, make sure you're always open to a chat and never give her the impression that what she's doing is annoying you. Make sure she can talk to you if she's worried and let her do her thing. The last thing you want is to alienate her.
 
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OP says that the lad is 16 but is working so it's safe to assume he has finished school and is effectively part of the adult world now.

He will have adult wants and needs and the girl is still in school at just 14. It's not okay for them to be sexually active. It doesn't matter what other people think about it, whether they think it's "understandable" or whatever
 
Soldato
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OP says that the lad is 16 but is working so it's safe to assume he has finished school and is effectively part of the adult world now.

He will have adult wants and needs and the girl is still in school at just 14. It's not okay for them to be sexually active. It doesn't matter what other people think about it, whether they think it's "understandable" or whatever

Doesn't matter if it's okay or not, they will be sexually active. Therefore it makes sense to ensure they are as safe as possible. You aren't going to stop them from having sex.
 
Caporegime
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OP says that the lad is 16 but is working so it's safe to assume he has finished school and is effectively part of the adult world now.

He will have adult wants and needs and the girl is still in school at just 14. It's not okay for them to be sexually active. It doesn't matter what other people think about it, whether they think it's "understandable" or whatever

You think that a boy becomes sexually active because he's "in an adult world?" :confused:

I think hormones might disagree with you.
 
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Doesn't matter if it's okay or not, they will be sexually active. Therefore it makes sense to ensure they are as safe as possible. You aren't going to stop them from having sex.
Which means the lad is breaking the law by having sex with a minor. It's not something I would tolerate personally no matter how reasonable the lad seems to be.

I understand you would want to make sure your children are as safe as possible and if they are going to have sex then there's not much you can really do about it. Better to have them under your roof than god knows where.

I feel for OP it's not a situation you want to be put in. He has his daughter's best interests at heart.
 
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If a father comes on here asking the question he's asked then you have to wonder if he's sensible enough to be a father.
 
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Ah gotcha, that makes more sense. It is a difficult boundary to have to deal with, especially as a parent, that's for sure.
My next door neighbour, from my old house, had to deal with exactly this situation. Albeit a year later. His daughter was 15 and her "boyfriend" was 17. The lad had a motorbike and a job whilst his daughter was flunking her GCSEs to canoodle with him rather than revise. They put her on the pill and effectively gave them cart blanche to go at it.

Anyway it didn't end well and they had to have a sit down with the lads parents and eventually it all broke off. It ended amicably with the parents but, at the end of the day, his daughter was being taken to the pub with his mates. Girls like to think they are all grown up at that age. The fact is that they are not.
 
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If a father doesn't ask for advice and lets his kid do whatever they wan you have to wonder if he's sensible enough to be a father.

Works both ways.

If you need advice from a place like this for such a basic thing you're pretty hopeless in my opinion.
 
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If a father comes on here asking the question he's asked then you have to wonder if he's sensible enough to be a father.
It's not because he is specifically asking for advice. He has probably already made a decision and is looking for confirmation. The problem with OCUK is that half of the place is full of autistic virgins who won't be having children in the first place
 
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If you need advice from a place like this for such a basic thing you're pretty hopeless in my opinion.
Do you feel this way about people who have posted here when they have suffered a bereavement? Sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers. Sometimes you want to hear the views of a neutral party and weigh them to what you've already heard.

I'm pretty sure OP doesn't actually care about our opinions of him. I don't expect him to shed a tear if any of us fall under a bus.
 
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Do you feel this way about people who have posted here when they have suffered a bereavement? Sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers. Sometimes you want to hear the views of a neutral party and weigh them to what you've already heard.

I'm pretty sure OP doesn't actually care about our opinions of him. I don't expect him to shed a year of any of us fall under a bus.


It's John40, I wouldn't bother. He's demonstrated time and time again that there are brighter bulbs in the box. Even the broken ones.
 
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It's John40, I wouldn't bother. He's demonstrated time and time again that there are brighter bulbs in the box. Even the broken ones.
I don't keeps tabs on poster really. I do remember that I've had a disagreement with yourself before but nothing personal. I do notice if someone is consistently bothering me personally, of which there is one currently, but I don't consider previous history.

The problem with this place is that a thread usually goes bad after a while. It seems that all the best posts are made early and then the trolls arrive to **** the place up
 
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