Trooping the Colour - the question you shouldn't ask

TimTom · 10 Jun 2018 at 10:23

You know there are some questions you just shouldn't ask but really want to...

...I was watching the TV coverage of Trooping the Colour in London yesterday and the commentator made reference to the fact that some of the guardsmen are in position and unable to move for around two and a half hours. Add in preparation time, getting to their posts and then the return journey and that's an absolute age.

So what happens if erm, nature calls?

Seriously? Are they advised not to drink for hours beforehand or something? I'm forever reading that none of us drink enough water and should have two litres a day, etc. Surely it's a bit unhumane to ask these lads to stand in furnace like conditions and clothing and not drink for fear of needing a wee?

Does anyone actually know how these events are managed for those involved?

jsmoke · 10 Jun 2018 at 10:27

I am sure after 100's of years of the British Army and many wars they will have thought of this. Probably as you said don't drink much before, maybe they have a contraption also. Probably have a lot of training and vetting also to find the right candidates.

dcsarge · 10 Jun 2018 at 11:51

Unless they are over forty it should be easy enough to stay hydrated and control your bladder for that amount of time by drinking water. If they drink tea, coffee and Red Bull then that's another matter

.

TimTom · 10 Jun 2018 at 12:07

dcsarge said:
Unless they are over forty it should be easy enough to stay hydrated and control your bladder for that amount of time by drinking water. If they drink tea, coffee and Red Bull then that's another matter .

I suppose you're right, although it wouldn't have worked for me - even when I was in my twenties!!

All credit to those involved. All that standing around in scorching heat and yet you never see one of with sweat pouring down his face.

Nasher · 10 Jun 2018 at 12:20

I have spoken to soldiers who have been there and done it. They get no special contraption etc, they just have to do it. Sometimes people do pass out

Gotta remember though it's not like average Joe doing it. Most soldiers are pretty fit.

TimTom · 10 Jun 2018 at 12:53

Nasher said:
I have spoken to soldiers who have been there and done it. They get no special contraption etc, they just have to do it. Sometimes people do pass out

Isn't the advice something like wiggle their toes or lock their knees?

Sliver · 10 Jun 2018 at 13:19

Trooping the colour, pff. What a waste of time and money.

Roland Butter · 10 Jun 2018 at 13:31

So the question isn't, what is the actual point of it ?

Even to ardent royalists it's a dud gig, it's not even mildly entertaining, moving or spectacular.

Zatoichi.uK · 10 Jun 2018 at 13:31

Possibly...

https://www.stadiumpal.com/product/stadium-pal-kit/

I_M_Weasel · 10 Jun 2018 at 13:36

I've done ceromonial duties, no special measures are in your trousers, just hold it in. You will usually go just before you leave barracks, sometimes if you are street lining for a long time you can slip away if you are in real trouble. Not a good idea to go out the night before but didn't stop us from doing so. Soldiers do faint, helps to slightly bend your knees and move your toes, stops you siezing up. I found it worse doing rifle drill, when you've had your rifle in one arm and swap it you need to do a drill move but your arms arms are so stiff you think you'll drop it and would feel quite silly.

TimTom · 10 Jun 2018 at 13:42

I_M_Weasel said:
I've done ceromonial duties, no special measures are in your trousers, just hold it in. You will usually go just before you leave barracks, sometimes if you are street lining for a long time you can slip away if you are in real trouble. Not a good idea to go out the night before but didn't stop us from doing so. Soldiers do faint, helps to slightly bend your knees and move your toes, stops you siezing up. I found it worse doing rifle drill, when you've had your rifle in one arm and swap it you need to do a drill move but your arms arms are so stiff you think you'll drop it and would feel quite silly.

Thanks for that answer, very informative.

Can you really be outside for up to four hours though? That seems excruciating to someone like me.

I_M_Weasel · 10 Jun 2018 at 13:46

Yes and longer, for important events you have rehersals too so you're already a bit worn down, you do get used to it though.

Sliver · 10 Jun 2018 at 13:48

I once had to wait for a bus for 30 minutes. Nightmare. I thought I was going to **** myself.

weringo · 10 Jun 2018 at 13:53

2 and a half hours standing still doesn't sound that bad?

markus782 · 10 Jun 2018 at 13:55

I_M_Weasel said:
I've done ceromonial duties, no special measures are in your trousers, just hold it in. You will usually go just before you leave barracks, sometimes if you are street lining for a long time you can slip away if you are in real trouble. Not a good idea to go out the night before but didn't stop us from doing so. Soldiers do faint, helps to slightly bend your knees and move your toes, stops you siezing up. I found it worse doing rifle drill, when you've had your rifle in one arm and swap it you need to do a drill move but your arms arms are so stiff you think you'll drop it and would feel quite silly.

This is a bit cheeky but where could you slip off to if you were in trouble? I've never seen anyone in uniform in a queue at the public loos! I wouldn't have thought there was a hope of leaving your post during a parade.

I_M_Weasel · 10 Jun 2018 at 14:01

There's no escape on a parade like trooping the colour or guard mount, on street lining you may find help from the emergency services. Quite often there are ambulances in attendance and you could jump in the back and fill an empty water bottle.

markus782 · 10 Jun 2018 at 14:05

I_M_Weasel said:
There's no escape on a parade like trooping the colour or guard mount, on street lining you may find help from the emergency services. Quite often there are ambulances in attendance and you could jump in the back and fill an empty water bottle.

Ah lol. Maybe fainting is sometimes a cover, eh.

Sliver · 10 Jun 2018 at 14:07

markus782 said:
Ah lol. Maybe fainting is sometimes a cover, eh.

What? How do you fake passing out and collapsing? :confused:

I_M_Weasel · 10 Jun 2018 at 14:09

I've never seen a pretend faint but seen a few real ones, on our first big inspection after about 5hours one collapsed and bayoneted the soldier in front of him in the leg. Probably does happen though, better than letting a no 2 slide down your leg.

TimTom · 10 Jun 2018 at 14:19

I_M_Weasel said:
I've never seen a pretend faint but seen a few real ones, on our first big inspection after about 5hours one collapsed and bayoneted the soldier in front of him in the leg. Probably does happen though, better than letting a no 2 slide down your leg.

Many, many years ago, I'm probably talking early eighties when I was involved with the police, one officer actually ''widdled himself" whilst lining the route during some royal visit. It was the cause of much merriment but he didn't half get a rollicking!