Do you love hedges?

Mr Badger · 26 Jul 2018 at 15:14

It seems that some people REALLY love hedges:

Sheffield topiarist 'disgusted by drunk hedge sex'

Anyone out there in GD land have green fingers? Or any other bits of your anatomy?

Captain · 26 Jul 2018 at 15:16

I’m quite fond of a trimmed bush.

cyber69 · 26 Jul 2018 at 15:16

Thats not the only tidy bush i’ve seen today

Randomface74 · 26 Jul 2018 at 15:25

Fluffybob · 26 Jul 2018 at 15:34

Who would even shape a hedge like that ? ? ? Good Lord !

FortuitousFluke · 26 Jul 2018 at 15:50

Damn yobs need to learn to leaf other peoples hedges alone, they should get special branch to look into this immediately.

Chris Wilson · 26 Jul 2018 at 15:51

What people choose to do to their hedge is a privet matter. But if people insist on unnatural carnal approaches towards it he should set up a hedge fund.

swillsy · 26 Jul 2018 at 15:55

Its Spoc!

MikeTheNative · 26 Jul 2018 at 16:06

The guy shouldn't have made such a sexy hedge then. What does he expect people to do? Just not have sex with it?

Randomface74 · 26 Jul 2018 at 16:07

Twitter> Stop blaming the victim!

Diddums · 26 Jul 2018 at 16:09

FortuitousFluke said:
Damn yobs need to learn to leaf other peoples hedges alone, they should get special branch to look into this immediately.

They probably wood but I don't think they have much of a leaf to go on sadly

LabR@t · 26 Jul 2018 at 16:10

Clov!s said:
I’m quite fond of a trimmed bush.

Bushy the better I say

robfosters · 26 Jul 2018 at 16:15

I would hide a bear trap in her lady parts, that would learn em!

Chris Wilson · 26 Jul 2018 at 16:46

The local by laws suggest the legality of frottage with, or the full penetration of, such topiaries is a thorny issue. Those that have never engaged in the pursuit are spineless individuals.

MookJong · 26 Jul 2018 at 17:18

Fluffybob said:
Who would even shape a hedge like that ? ? ? Good Lord !

A British person, show me another nation or culture eccentric enough to carry it off.

Malevolence · 26 Jul 2018 at 17:58

I miss hedge porn.

peterwalkley · 26 Jul 2018 at 20:05

Idiots. Completely the wrong fertilizer to use.

FortuitousFluke · 26 Jul 2018 at 20:38

Chris Wilson said:
The local by laws suggest the legality of frottage with, or the full penetration of, such topiaries is a thorny issue. Those that have never engaged in the pursuit are spineless individuals.

Good work, you're starting to grow on me Chris.

mrk · 26 Jul 2018 at 20:50

I won't hedge my bets on this issue being resolved any time soon.

Dirk Diggler · 26 Jul 2018 at 22:49

He puts a pearl necklace on his lady hedge, and wonders why people hump it? I mean seriously, how can any drunk man resist a pearl necklace and a neatly trimmed bush?

Filed under "asking for it".