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Soldato
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Seriously ******** myself right now for me and my partner. Just got back from the hospital, which was a return journey from an "urgent" checkup yesterday. Got there at 3pm for a 1 hour appointment, left 50mins ago after multiple scans, 2 consultants and what seemed to be an age of fetal doppler monitoring.

Docs have told us that the amniotic fluid is increasing (it increases just days prior to birth apparently), Junior is head down (though has been for 4 weeks) & everything is looking like systems are go. The problem with that is that we still have 8 1/2 weeks to go to the due date, Junior isn't ready for the world.

Docs have decided that it's going to happen so have begun courses of steroid injections so that they can be passed to Junior in the hope of bolstering his lungs should he appear.

On top of this they're also suggesting that my partner may have developed diabetes during the pregnancy (she was tested and clear when we first found out we were having another child)

My head is an absolute shed, I'm seriously ****** off at her so-called best mates who haven't even been round in the last month or so, just as things were getting rough for the Mrs in terms of the pregnancy and

I just feel like I'm going to lose my ****. I have no idea what to do. I absolutely detest hospitals, hate every second, it stresses me out yet I'm faced with spending most of the day in one for the next few weeks. It doesn't help that there seems to be absolutely no efficiency or forward planning.

At one point today a midwife told us that we need to wait for the consultant who will most likely order a 30min fetal monitor. 45mins later consultant walks in and within 10secs says to start the monitor & then he can decided further action on those results. Why couldn't the midwife just get it done whilst we were waiting? After the monitor we then had to wait another half hour for the consultant to come back. Wasted time! No wonder the NHS is on it's backside!

Sorry, venting and not the point.

Edit sorry for the stars ...
Sorry to hear you going through a rough time of it. Rest assured, MANY children are born much more premature than yours and do perfectly fine. Stay calm and be confident. Even if you don't feel like you are confident, at least appear to be on the surface and be supportive of your partner, then come back here to vent instead rather than fill her with your worry :) you know you're getting stressed when the usual NHS is doing its usual NHS stuff but it feels like the end of the world to you (waiting around and all the bs). Still, remain calm and be happy that very soon you meet your child :)
 
Soldato
Joined
9 Apr 2007
Posts
13,451
Seriously ******** myself right now for me and my partner. Just got back from the hospital, which was a return journey from an "urgent" checkup yesterday. Got there at 3pm for a 1 hour appointment, left 50mins ago after multiple scans, 2 consultants and what seemed to be an age of fetal doppler monitoring.

Docs have told us that the amniotic fluid is increasing (it increases just days prior to birth apparently), Junior is head down (though has been for 4 weeks) & everything is looking like systems are go. The problem with that is that we still have 8 1/2 weeks to go to the due date, Junior isn't ready for the world.

Docs have decided that it's going to happen so have begun courses of steroid injections so that they can be passed to Junior in the hope of bolstering his lungs should he appear.

On top of this they're also suggesting that my partner may have developed diabetes during the pregnancy (she was tested and clear when we first found out we were having another child)

My head is an absolute shed, I'm seriously ****** off at her so-called best mates who haven't even been round in the last month or so, just as things were getting rough for the Mrs in terms of the pregnancy and

I just feel like I'm going to lose my ****. I have no idea what to do. I absolutely detest hospitals, hate every second, it stresses me out yet I'm faced with spending most of the day in one for the next few weeks. It doesn't help that there seems to be absolutely no efficiency or forward planning.

At one point today a midwife told us that we need to wait for the consultant who will most likely order a 30min fetal monitor. 45mins later consultant walks in and within 10secs says to start the monitor & then he can decided further action on those results. Why couldn't the midwife just get it done whilst we were waiting? After the monitor we then had to wait another half hour for the consultant to come back. Wasted time! No wonder the NHS is on it's backside!

Sorry, venting and not the point.

Edit sorry for the stars ...

Plenty of babies are born early, ours was 5 weeks early in Feb 2018 and came so fast within hours of water breaking they had no time to do the steroids. He was born with PPHN which is what the steroids are there for, they did later put some steriods directly in his lungs to try and help.
Luckily he was born in St Marys so support was excellent, and if needed rest assured you will be sent where ever is best to suite your baby, a lot of places can handle premature these days. I will admit though spending your days in the hospital is a drag, though the good places let you get involved as soon as possible with feeding and cleaning, prepare your wife for expressing as obviously the chances of breast feeding so early on are slim, they should have told you this and already reserved you and pump to borrow from the hospital.
 
Soldato
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unstated.assortment.union
Sorry to hear you going through a rough time of it. Rest assured, MANY children are born much more premature than yours and do perfectly fine. Stay calm and be confident. Even if you don't feel like you are confident, at least appear to be on the surface and be supportive of your partner, then come back here to vent instead rather than fill her with your worry :) you know you're getting stressed when the usual NHS is doing its usual NHS stuff but it feels like the end of the world to you (waiting around and all the bs). Still, remain calm and be happy that very soon you meet your child :)


Externally I've remained pretty stoic, hence the keyboard diarrhea. I'm good at that sort of thing. Although I game for fun it's also a way to decompress for me too. The issue with that atm is it's a solo venture and I don't go do it because my partner is then left to her own devices and she's extremely worried herself.

Plenty of babies are born early, ours was 5 weeks early in Feb 2018 and came so fast within hours of water breaking they had no time to do the steroids. He was born with PPHN which is what the steroids are there for, they did later put some steriods directly in his lungs to try and help.
Luckily he was born in St Marys so support was excellent, and if needed rest assured you will be sent where ever is best to suite your baby, a lot of places can handle premature these days. I will admit though spending your days in the hospital is a drag, though the good places let you get involved as soon as possible with feeding and cleaning, prepare your wife for expressing as obviously the chances of breast feeding so early on are slim, they should have told you this and already reserved you and pump to borrow from the hospital.

I love in Sheffield so there's a specialist children's hospital with an excellent NICU, still doesn't stop me worrying though.

As for feeding, unfortunately with our first my partner had production issues due to her pre-existing medical conditions with breast feeding. We tried but it just wasn't working so lil man will need to go straight on formula.

I'm fully involved already with my daughter. I'm currently a stay-at-home dad due to ill health (M.E.) so that's not a concern in that respect.

Really appreciate the replies, wasn't expecting any tbh I just had to vent and this thread seemed to be ideal so thank you.
 
Soldato
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Posts
13,451
Externally I've remained pretty stoic, hence the keyboard diarrhea. I'm good at that sort of thing. Although I game for fun it's also a way to decompress for me too. The issue with that atm is it's a solo venture and I don't go do it because my partner is then left to her own devices and she's extremely worried herself.



I love in Sheffield so there's a specialist children's hospital with an excellent NICU, still doesn't stop me worrying though.

As for feeding, unfortunately with our first my partner had production issues due to her pre-existing medical conditions with breast feeding. We tried but it just wasn't working so lil man will need to go straight on formula.

I'm fully involved already with my daughter. I'm currently a stay-at-home dad due to ill health (M.E.) so that's not a concern in that respect.

Really appreciate the replies, wasn't expecting any tbh I just had to vent and this thread seemed to be ideal so thank you.

Some good people in this thread. The worst thing I found about NICU was the lack of seating it's almost as if they're setup for fleeting visits. The wife and are were there from opening to kicking us out every day for about 10 weeks.

Another thing to consider is talking to your employer, mine were fantastic and just told me to take what ever time off I needed they kept me on full pay, and even told me to take two weeks once we were home.
Other parents were getting sacked because they refused to go in work others for no pay so it's best to find out before hand if you can.

If while on hospital you need to vent they have good people to talk to, the wife and I were heavily encouraged to talk to them and I'm glad I did.
But even now I know my feelings towards my son aren't 100% what they should be.

Above all tell your wife exactly what's going through your head.

I keep meaning to do my own thread with the story and future as he's defying everything the doctor's have said so far. On our return to St Mary's they were actually surprised to see us as he wasn't supposed to make it.
Fair few parents I've spoken to since the story has calmed there nerves and helped them see what they're going through itsit's that bad.
 
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Soldato
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Some good people in this thread. The worst thing I found about NICU was the lack of seating it's almost as if they're setup for fleeting visits. The wife and are were there from opening to kicking us out every day for about 10 weeks.

Another thing to consider is talking to your employer, mine were fantastic and just told me to take what ever time off I needed they kept me on full pay, and even told me to take two weeks once we were home.
Other parents were getting sacked because they refused to go in work others for no pay so it's best to find out before hand if you can.

If while on hospital you need to vent they have good people to talk to, the wife and I were heavily encouraged to talk to them and I'm glad I did.
But even now I know my feelings towards my son aren't 100% what they should be.

Above all tell your wife exactly what's going through your head.

I keep meaning to do my own thread with the story and future as he's defying everything the doctor's have said so far. On our return to St Mary's they were actually surprised to see us as he wasn't supposed to make it.
Fair few parents I've spoken to since the story has calmed there nerves and helped them see what they're going through itsit's that bad.


Thanks for the advice regarding NICU. So far he's staying put where he should be.

As for speaking with my boss. Spoke to him in my bathroom mirror this morning, He knew the score :D
 
Soldato
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We just can't get George to sleep on his own for the while night, he will do a few hours then wake up and not go back to sleep until he gets "mummy cuddles".

Neither of us have the energy to do like the health visitor suggests and keep putting him back in his cot.
It's as if they don't understand a parent needs sleep as well, or do they just presume only one of you work.

George usually ends up staying in bed with us for the rest of the night and he will also the whole night through.
 
Soldato
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7,580
Had our 20 week scan today. Found out we're having a girl :D Personally, I had no preference, but the girlfriend really wanted a girl (to the point where there was tears of joy when they told her).

On the flip side, we're really having trouble with her employer. Today was the second time she's been chastised for being "late" back from an antenatal appointment, and the third time she's been denied an (unpaid) lunch break after an appointment. The hospital is 45 mins from her work. I'm struggling to see how ~3 hours is "too long".
 
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Soldato
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unstated.assortment.union
Had our 20 week scan today. Found out we're having a girl :D Personally, I had no preference, but the girlfriend really wanted a girl (to the point where there was tears of joy when they told her).

On the flip side, we're really having trouble with her employer. Today was the second time she's been chastised for being "late" back from an antenatal appointment, and the third time she's been denied an (unpaid) lunch break after an appointment. The hospital is 45 mins from her work. I'm struggling to see how ~3 hours is "too long".

Have a read:

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/w...egnancy-and-maternity-discrimination-at-work/
 
Soldato
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Yeah, I know the rights. It's incompetent supervisors that are the problem. She threatened to call the area manager today and got a "why are you always undermining me" type answer. Because apparently standing up for your own rights and pointing out incompetence is bullying...

Two routes forward really. Ignore the complaining (because, realistically, that's all it is unless her supervisor actually makes good on her threats to dock pay) and take a break while out of the business, accepting that there's likely nothing they can actually do about it. Or get the area manager involved and have to put up with a bitter supervisor for the next few months.
 
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Associate
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Specialized Hotwalk (second hand). Then you can move up to the 12" Hotrock and negate the need for stabilisers.
Ended up getting new Hotwalk for £35 worth of Tesco Clubcard points tripled with Evan Cycles. So basically free :)
Just need to get helmet now.
 
Associate
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Yeah, I know the rights. It's incompetent supervisors that are the problem. She threatened to call the area manager today and got a "why are you always undermining me" type answer. Because apparently standing up for your own rights and pointing out incompetence is bullying...

Two routes forward really. Ignore the complaining (because, realistically, that's all it is unless her supervisor actually makes good on her threats to dock pay) and take a break while out of the business, accepting that there's likely nothing they can actually do about it. Or get the area manager involved and have to put up with a bitter supervisor for the next few months.

1.) Note it all down, keep evidence.
2.) Point supervisor to definition of the rights e.g https://www.maternityaction.org.uk/...enarios/pregnant/time-off-for-antenatal-care/
3.) If the issue continues escalate to HR & Area Manager.

There is no "limit" to reasonable time off, including travel time, for appointments, it just needs to be reasonable.
Time (e.g. unpaid lunch breaks) cannot be docked to make up time.

This is one of the most important times for your wife/partner, additional stress is not healthy, and I detest stuck-up self-important supervisors who skirt on the fringe of employee rights when they clearly know nothing.
 

mjt

mjt

Soldato
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Ended up getting new Hotwalk for £35 worth of Tesco Clubcard points tripled with Evan Cycles. So basically free :)
Just need to get helmet now.
Nice one. Less than I paid for mine second hand! Specialised do funky helmets as well.

My 3.5-year-old just started on his 16" Hotrock today and hasn't touched stabilisers. Enjoy!
 

mjt

mjt

Soldato
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19,997
My lad is 7 in April. Never rode a bike. Had a 3 wheel scooter he liked.

Want to buy him a bike but not sure of the right way forward. Advice please!
The best way would be to go to a bike shop and see what size frame he needs. Online/second hand could well be cheaper to probably best so go to a big chain, so as not to annoy the small shopkeeper if you have no intention on buying there.
 
Soldato
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14 Apr 2009
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Location
Cheshire
The best way would be to go to a bike shop and see what size frame he needs. Online/second hand could well be cheaper to probably best so go to a big chain, so as not to annoy the small shopkeeper if you have no intention on buying there.
Cool. Are stabalizers still a thing? I recall not having them and just having to learn quickly with a few sore elbows to boot.
 
Soldato
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North Essex
How late is "late" for walking?

My 15month old daughter was quite late crawling (about a week after her first birthday). She is starting to pull herself up onto her feet all the time but shows absolutely no interest in taking steps unless I am holding her hands. Ive tried leaning her up back to the wall and sitting a couple of feet away but she just gets stroppy and cant figure out how to lower herself down.
The doctors have said they have no concerns with her at all but it is getting upsetting watching all her friends running around while she is still stuck on all fours.
Really hope she can figure it out soon.
 
Soldato
Joined
9 Apr 2007
Posts
13,451
How late is "late" for walking?

My 15month old daughter was quite late crawling (about a week after her first birthday). She is starting to pull herself up onto her feet all the time but shows absolutely no interest in taking steps unless I am holding her hands. Ive tried leaning her up back to the wall and sitting a couple of feet away but she just gets stroppy and cant figure out how to lower herself down.
The doctors have said they have no concerns with her at all but it is getting upsetting watching all her friends running around while she is still stuck on all fours.
Really hope she can figure it out soon.
They do it in there own time. Ignore what others are doing.
 
Soldato
Joined
27 Mar 2013
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9,121
How late is "late" for walking?

My 15month old daughter was quite late crawling (about a week after her first birthday). She is starting to pull herself up onto her feet all the time but shows absolutely no interest in taking steps unless I am holding her hands. Ive tried leaning her up back to the wall and sitting a couple of feet away but she just gets stroppy and cant figure out how to lower herself down.
The doctors have said they have no concerns with her at all but it is getting upsetting watching all her friends running around while she is still stuck on all fours.
Really hope she can figure it out soon.
I know it's difficult as some parents just seem to shout it from the rooftops when little Jonny does anything but they'll get there when they are ready.
 
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