Currently being held prisoner in hospital...

Soldato
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18 Oct 2002
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Norfolk
I am a social worker in adult SS. As others have said, they are trying to protect your child, but don't let the system back you into a corner. Just explain everything and get evidence for everything that happens. Things can spiral out of hand very quickly if they think you are trying to hide anything, or are trying to deceive them.

Neither SS nor the hospital can actually prevent you from leaving with your daughter. You still have parental responsibility, and I assume from what you have said, that there is no legal reason to stop you from leaving. The difficulty will be if you do leave, it might give them more cause for suspicion because you aren't being "compliant". The best thing would be to try and negotiate with SS and the hospital to leave, and to get their permission to do so.

SS did close at 5, but there will be an emergency duty team who can take calls. Call in, explain the situation (which should all be recorded on the computer anyway) explain plainly and honestly why you want to leave and that you will come back when the hospital can do the scans. Make sure you take the name and department of who you have spoken to, and ask to speak to the duty manager if you want to to make sure it is clear. Also ask for the conversation and agreement to be sent in writing next week so you have it as evidence of the conversation, in case it is an issue and you need to prove what you have done and why. Make sure you keep a written record of all the convos you have had with the doctors/health staff/ss, so you can refer to it later. I know it will be a massive pain to do, but if it all gets a bit stressful it will be difficult to recall things later on and it will be much easier if its written down at the time.
 
Caporegime
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23 Dec 2011
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People are looking out for the child with its best interests at heart. Parents reaction = RANT.

Imagine if these injuries were reported and nobody did anything. Oh hello baby P. I remember you...
 
Soldato
Joined
15 May 2007
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12,804
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Ipswich / Bodham
Sounds an awful situation, can’t imagine. I would try to put the ‘how and who’ to one side and focus on cooperating while your child is assessed. If you’re showing distress it’ll transfer to her.

Ignore the inevitable testosterone heroes who’ll be along to post nonsense. There’s probably, and hopefully, a very simple and innocent explanation for this. But whatever it is won’t be solved by going full Rambo.
 
Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
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14,041
Location
West Midlands
Have you tried contacting the police with regards to advice about what you are allowed to do, as Social Services would if they had a problem with you?

Do you know anything about the other children who attend there, could it be they to blame, or indeed know any other parents to see if any issues have arisen with their children?

Terrible situation to be in.
 
Soldato
Joined
30 Nov 2005
Posts
13,915
SS will not be straight with you that's for sure if they even suspect you are at fault. They do not have to, ask for a copy of their guidelines.( They won't give it to you)

I feel for you I really do, my ex got into abusive relationship after me, so have watched how they operate.
 
Soldato
Joined
5 Mar 2009
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3,050
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North
Ive had issues with social services before and my only advice would be to tread carefully and don't inflame the situation with rash actions. You are as much a suspect as anyone else in their eyes and rightly so as parents can be abusers as much as anyone else. If it were me I would be contacting them and trying to talk them down as they have a lot more power than you would like them to have.
 
Soldato
OP
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
4,144
Location
Southampton
People are looking out for the child with its best interests at heart. Parents reaction = RANT.

Imagine if these injuries were reported and nobody did anything. Oh hello baby P. I remember you...

You obviously missed the part where I said I’m glad they’re taking it so seriously. If there’s any hint of ranting it’s at the situation we were left in, not the process we became part of.

I challenge you to not be frustrated with the situation when you’re got an 11 month old baby and a sleep-deprived epileptic partner whose seizure triggers include stress and sleep deprivation, all when you’ve done nothing wrong.

Anyway, SS finally got back to the hospital and let us leave for the weekend. They’ll be out to visit over the weekend and we’ve got to take little one back for her xrays on Monday.
 
Soldato
OP
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
4,144
Location
Southampton
I am a social worker in adult SS. As others have said, they are trying to protect your child, but don't let the system back you into a corner. Just explain everything and get evidence for everything that happens. Things can spiral out of hand very quickly if they think you are trying to hide anything, or are trying to deceive them.

Neither SS nor the hospital can actually prevent you from leaving with your daughter. You still have parental responsibility, and I assume from what you have said, that there is no legal reason to stop you from leaving. The difficulty will be if you do leave, it might give them more cause for suspicion because you aren't being "compliant". The best thing would be to try and negotiate with SS and the hospital to leave, and to get their permission to do so.

SS did close at 5, but there will be an emergency duty team who can take calls. Call in, explain the situation (which should all be recorded on the computer anyway) explain plainly and honestly why you want to leave and that you will come back when the hospital can do the scans. Make sure you take the name and department of who you have spoken to, and ask to speak to the duty manager if you want to to make sure it is clear. Also ask for the conversation and agreement to be sent in writing next week so you have it as evidence of the conversation, in case it is an issue and you need to prove what you have done and why. Make sure you keep a written record of all the convos you have had with the doctors/health staff/ss, so you can refer to it later. I know it will be a massive pain to do, but if it all gets a bit stressful it will be difficult to recall things later on and it will be much easier if its written down at the time.

Thanks for the useful info matey. The gf called the out of hours MASH team to give them a nudge and I’m not sure if it made any difference but they let us go an hour or so later.
 
Soldato
Joined
18 Jan 2007
Posts
6,165
Location
Dorset
You obviously missed the part where I said I’m glad they’re taking it so seriously. If there’s any hint of ranting it’s at the situation we were left in, not the process we became part of.

I challenge you to not be frustrated with the situation when you’re got an 11 month old baby and a sleep-deprived epileptic partner whose seizure triggers include stress and sleep deprivation, all when you’ve done nothing wrong.

Anyway, SS finally got back to the hospital and let us leave for the weekend. They’ll be out to visit over the weekend and we’ve got to take little one back for her xrays on Monday.

Glad to hear you got out of there with their blessings - would have been much harder if you'd just left. I fully understand why you would have wanted to.
 
Man of Honour
Joined
29 Mar 2003
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56,791
Location
Stoke on Trent
I can verify there are a lot of X-Rays taken all over the body in Child Protection cases.
Personally upsetting as it is I would comply with Social Services, you really don't want to give them an inch.
 
Last edited:
Soldato
Joined
3 Jan 2006
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10,997
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All along the watchtower
People are looking out for the child with its best interests at heart. Parents reaction = RANT.

Imagine if these injuries were reported and nobody did anything. Oh hello baby P. I remember you...
and statistically, how likely is a baby p?

The social services make several monumental **** ups and then assume everyone else is as bad as them.
 
Soldato
Joined
3 Jan 2006
Posts
10,997
Location
All along the watchtower
I can verify there are a lot of X-Rays taken all over the body in Child Protection cases.
Personally upsetting as it is I would comply with Social Services, you really don't want to give them an inch.
and what if you think too many needless xrays may cause harm.

Lets get real, why would someone who has hurt their child even make an enquiry about it?

Do you really think they would try a double bluff and draw attention to themselves?
 
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