Soldato
@itchy no one's impressed with your puffed out chest and swingy arms.
Advice for a new dad (arguing after newborn)...
- Thread starter kissenger
- Start date
What you saying am a gorilla? By the way am 9st 5ft10 and have about 23 hairs on my chest, just saying.
Who is? no one's impressed? lol
I don't care women are overrated by men, same **** a different day.
By the way I wear gloves for the knuckle dragging as it hurts like hell without them.
Am out as its become off topic and a touchy subject.
Its not comical, its down right worring. This community is a mob. Just look at how people reacted to the American red cap kid. So many people are out for a virtual fight and they will pick on anything they can find (with obviously no consequences when they are call out for it). On top of it you have graduates that have all the backing of text book education that will lead the mob into battle (and there eventual virtual doom) with no wisdom but all the big words. The only hard thing about bringing up kids is to make sure that when 'they' decide to cut the 'umbilicall cord' that they are ready for this world.
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I'm due my first baby with my Wife early April, reading this thread has been a bit of an eye-opener but obviously you accept things will be difficult however I guess its hard to imagine how so. Some good advice contained within, if a little daunting.
the first thing you do is get the pram. its the main thing a women will want. its not just a vital tool to be used . its almost symbolic to show people you have a new child. not getting one if your partner asked for one is like a kick in the nads. yes women dont have them. help out best you can its a stressful but great time. get that pram brought.
Soldato
Don't worry bud. Like most parents in this thread will tell you: its hard work but its worth it.
And for the most part its very true.
If you are both considerate people things will be fine. My partner and I very rarely argued about anything concerning the kids. And we suffered some VERY bad sleep deprivation.
It all comes down to individuals.
Thanks for the reassurance Musty! The last few months have been a whirlwind of renovation, purchasing and stress!
Soldato
Oh dont get me wrong, those things will still continue!
But you will be rewarded with sleepless nights, high stress and exhaustion to boot.
Embrace it. Its one of lives most rewarding things IMO. My daughter and son are 4 and 2, and the joy and pride they bring me daily is incomparable.
Caporegime
Your helping during the day but not at night, she is not doing nothing with the baby during the day is she so surely she’s tired at night too when your sleeping and she isn’t....
Basically it’s a 24/7 job that you both have to share equally.
Get up in the night and help, it’s part & parcel of it, she’s off with you because your not sharing the tiredness I’d say.
I used to change my daughter (who’s now 22 and a mother herself) during the night even though at the time I was doing early starts and upto 15hr shifts - and still do the early starts & long shifts.
All part of the fun, you’ll survive parenthood
Basically it’s a 24/7 job that you both have to share equally.
Get up in the night and help, it’s part & parcel of it, she’s off with you because your not sharing the tiredness I’d say.
I used to change my daughter (who’s now 22 and a mother herself) during the night even though at the time I was doing early starts and upto 15hr shifts - and still do the early starts & long shifts.
All part of the fun, you’ll survive parenthood
Caporegime
That seems fairly stupid to be honest if those shifts consisted of driving?
Caporegime
Why because other fathers don’t drive?
Broken sleep is nothing uncommon for an hgv driver, especially if your sleeping in the truck as your always half listening for trouble outside.
22 years on I’m still accident free.
Caporegime
That's excellent to hear but tiredness definitely does kill and lead to accidents when driving for extended periods, all of the evidence is there.
Soldato
No less than an iCandy as well!
Caporegime
I’m well aware of that, if I’m tired I stop and have a nap, always have & always will - despite protestations from transport planning from time to time - it’s something much easier in an hgv than a car as most have a bunk.
You seem to imply I was getting up in the night to feed my daughter and then missed out on my sleep, I didn’t, never had a problem with going back to sleep afterwards.
Caporegime
I wasn’t implying it, I was going off the “sharing the tiredness” bit and the hours involved in one shift. It looks like you were responsible about it so apologies for jumping the gun a little
Man of Honour
And part of that job is working to earn money to pay for everything. That should be taken into account when deciding what is an equal distribution of work. One person doing half the childcare while the other does half the childcare and all of the paid work is not an equal distribution of work.
It's easy to overlook each type of work, but they're both necessary parts of the whole.
While there was plenty wrong with things in the past, it did have the advantage of sharing the work more widely. There would generally be more relatives and other people to take a bit of the load off the mother during the day and to provide her with some adult interaction too. That can be a big deal - stay at home parents can be very isolated nowadays.
Which is dangerous for an HGV driver. Sleep deprivation can easily be on a par with being somewhat drunk.
Caporegime
Fair enough, cheers.I wasn’t implying it, I was going off the “sharing the tiredness” bit and the hours involved in one shift. It looks like you were responsible about it so apologies for jumping the gun a little
Caporegime
In my case, after a few months we both worked so I was trying to balance the getting up in the night, as per my discussion with Avahuasca I’m well aware of sleep deprivation and it’s effects but for a lot of HGV drivers that’s often easier to overcome due to not having any regular sleep routine due to varied start and finish times and a readily available place to get your head down for an hour if necessary which say an office or construction worker would struggle to do.
It’s down to being sensible and stopping if you feel tired and not trying to fight it which unfortunately many do - I see it often.
In fact, I’m typing this whilst having my break on my bunk and it’s now time for a nap.
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Associate
I second this - a quick and easy win. You can then do a bottle feed before you go to bed and then when you wake up for work, giving the Mrs a couple of extended sleeps.
It gets easier. Don't worry.
Breastfeeding is harder on the mother than bottle feeding, that's just a fact. My wife stopped after 6-8weeks with our two (now 1 and 4) as it was just making everyone, especially her, utterly miserable. Eventually, ours both slept 12 hours a night from aged 6 months, with only a few episodes of sleep regression due to growing phases and a few teething problems. I'm no expert, but I'm fairly convinced that being able to feed them a consistent amount by bottle and knowing exactly how much they are taking throughout a day makes it easier to keep them content at night.