How to tell a friend we no longer can be friends?

Soldato
Joined
23 Jul 2009
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Bath
Tbf your friend sounds mental and you're probably better shot of her. How would you feel if your gf had a relationship like this with some bloke? I can see the gfs point of view here.
 
Soldato
Joined
11 Dec 2003
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Sol
80% girlfriend

That reason, and that reason alone is why it'll never work out!

You're not making the decision, you're told to ignore friend, you get back with your ex, who seems jealous at best, it'll be fine, there will be some sort of min rift, the 80% of you that didn't want to cut out friend goes running to her for friendship, nothing happens, things get messy again due to you even seeing her, rinse and repeat until 1 (or more depending on what circumstances) of you 3 die!

You have to want to cut her out for you, if you're doing it just for someone else you're never going to stick to it, no matter how bat poo crazy she has become!
 
Soldato
Joined
25 Jun 2011
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Yorkshire and proud of it!
Your friend sounds dangerous, frankly. I don't know what you want to say, but be clear that her behaviour has made it impossible for you to continue the friendship, that she has made it a choice between her and your girlfriend and you unequivocally choose your girlfriend. And that she wouldn't change her behaviour and you know she wouldn't so the friendship has to end completely. And stick to it - seriously, bunny boiler in the making.

I'd also spare a thought for your girlfriend. It's decidedly not nice to have to deal with a partner's female friend who keeps trying to sabotage your relationship for reasons unknown but guessed at. And who mocks you in front of your partner! That she was willing to try speaks well of your girlfriend. If there was a guy who kept hanging round your girlfriend, trying to White Knight for her and undermine you all the time you'd likely not be happy either.

Good luck with how you do it, but make sure you do.
 
Soldato
Joined
13 Jan 2003
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23,627
You have a friend/girlfriend (blurted lines) in all but cup in hand and a separate official girlfriend.

I will tell you right now that your ogf will always make comments about the relationship if she is the jealous type. Also unless any friends pass her acceptance you will continue to get flack.
I find it easier to chat with women - I always have done but in the past it was single women (platonic) now it’s more couples and men. As you get older so they all get married and the issues stop.

First I think you need to work out which *you* want kids with (as a guide).. then the rest should follow.
 
Associate
Joined
14 Sep 2009
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Accrington, Lancashire
Sounds like you are going to have issues with either choice. You keep her as a friend and you'll lose the GF and probably experience the same thing with future partners.

If you ditch the friend do you really see the relationship with the GF working out in the long run? The fact that you've gotten back into contact with the friend knowing how the GF feels on the matter must be a big red flag to her too.

I'd say ditch the friend either way as she seems tapped, but you might need to sit down with the GF for a bit of a difficult chat and own up to stirring things with your decisions and really find out if a relationship is what the both of you actually want.
 
Caporegime
Joined
18 Oct 2002
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28,068
Location
London
How hot is this friend as she sounds off the chart crazy?

She sounds full on cray cray!

hot-crazy-matrix-date-zone-image.png


I don't envy your position but I guess just tell her you have had enough of her behaviour towards your GF. This woman might be your future wife and you're in a seemingly impossible situation but sack this friend off - she's poison.
 
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Man of Honour
Joined
19 Oct 2002
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Surrey
My advice is to make a decision on the relatuonship with your friends on those terms alone. Do not make the decision based on your GF.

In fact I would advise you consider both your friend and GF carefully but in isolation.

Regardless of your GF do you want to continue the friendship with the friend? If not then just tell her and move on. If you do then just carry on regardless of your GF opinions.

Also consider the relationship with your GF carefully. Do you really wabt to accept her telling you who else you can be friends with? I allowed my GF/wife to cause me to distance myself from people in the past. I would never do that now. Your GF sounds very co trolling abd manipulative. Is that what you want in life?
 
Soldato
Joined
25 Jun 2011
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5,468
Location
Yorkshire and proud of it!
My advice is to make a decision on the relatuonship with your friends on those terms alone. Do not make the decision based on your GF.

In fact I would advise you consider both your friend and GF carefully but in isolation.

Regardless of your GF do you want to continue the friendship with the friend? If not then just tell her and move on. If you do then just carry on regardless of your GF opinions.

Also consider the relationship with your GF carefully. Do you really wabt to accept her telling you who else you can be friends with? I allowed my GF/wife to cause me to distance myself from people in the past. I would never do that now. Your GF sounds very co trolling abd manipulative. Is that what you want in life?

I think you may be projecting based on your experiences. This doesn't sound like a case of the GF originally being the one to force him to distance his friends. Indeed, she originally went along with it. But this friend sounds like they are actively jealous of the GF, openly hostile and actively trying to sabotage the relationship covertly or otherwise. I think any partner is entitled to object to a "friend" who is actively against their relationship.
 
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