how much time do you spend alone?

Soldato
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i noticed yesterday on one of my weekly standard walks (park at crantock beach walk to perranporth and back) that as i got close to town (i always go to cHarity shop there) i started feeling oppressed and hemmed in by the crowds ,maybe turning into a hermit ,losing my dog recently (he was 16) has hit me hard ,but i didnt realise how big a social impact having a dog made ,
its not that i want to mix with people its maybe thinking i should to be a more rounded person ,bah i dunno
 
Soldato
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Lots of very frank replies on here, really interesting. I think my only alone time is on my commute (bus into and walk through central London so it's only "alone" because I can ignore strangers. There's still a lot of commuter interaction and eye contact which I find draining).

My partner moved in with me because she was signed off from work long term sick. She had anxiety and agoraphobia so at one point, couldn't leave the house without me and depended on me for shopping, family trips etc. Now she works from home so basically, if I'm home she's around. I'd love a day or two to myself as I neglect my own hobbies and wellbeing if she's around. But I can be much more productive and motivated when there are others about. Finding balance and moderation is a struggle for me as I either neglect my own wants, or hide away and shun humanity :(

It's the whole introvert / extrovert personality-style balance. For introverts, social interaction eventually becomes draining rather than energising, whereas extreme extroverts thrive on it at levels that would be toxic to the more introverted.

Personally I'm more introverted, and exploring the balance between both extremes has been interesting. I've had jobs that have been very social and energising to an extent (where you can talk to probably 50+ people a day face to face), and then I've had jobs working from home with nothing more than an email or a few Skype messages per day.

Both have ended up with major drawbacks (brain literally starts to meltdown in the overly extrovert scenario, end up caffeine-ing up, drift towards alcohol / sugar, brain fogged on any matters requiring introspection), and yet become very dexterous socially and verbally.

In full introvert seclusion work-from-home mode, I become far more cogent in my internal dialogue and stabilised in a mind-body way, but eventually I seem to start to 'rot' socially and become de-energised, no matter how ordered my life.

Basically this!
 
Soldato
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Not a lot since having a child. I've always seen myself as quite introvert and I do enjoy my own company but on balance, I'd rather be around people more often than not.

I work flexi time and I do often fi ish a few hours early so I can get home before my daughter finishes nursery and enjoy the silence!
 
Soldato
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I hate my own company and tend to become very introspective if I'm alone for too long. I rarely spend more than 12 hours by myself. The fact that I feel alone even in the company of others, is another issue.
 

SPG

SPG

Soldato
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Hmmm i tend to do a lot of stuff but 8/10 its alone, swimming, cycling, running, walkjng etc while people say its social and around people, I do not tend to have the urge or need to strike up a conversation, think i am just boring in general :)

I do not know how i had the time for relationships in the past, aside from going out for dinner, sex (as you get older going out for dinner is more fun :)) and holidays its draining :) as hell. I unwind by being alone so i am in a constant state of "whatever dude" :)
 
Soldato
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I've been an introvert pretty much all my life, but when I was younger (until ~2000 when the internet really kicked off), I wasn't good at coping spending time by myself and had to be around people. But these days, I'm very happy in my own company, whether that's stuck at home (often in front of the pc) or out riding in the hills alone for approx 2-6 hours. My better half is also an introvert, but she is much better than me in having multiple hobbies at home that don't involve a pc, so we tend to just spend the evenings together (often binge watching Amazon Video streams).

Social gatherings are a double-edged sword for us both, it's nice to catch up with family, but these family get-togethers during Xmas week especially leave us both absolutely mentally drained.
 
Associate
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On the wagon
I'm very comfortable in my own company and can spend days not really connecting with others without feeling the need of company but I know it's not good for me. I tend to lose perspective if I spend too much time in my own company and head. Thoughts grow arms and legs until the smallest slight become the world's biggest injustice and periods of social interaction tend to remove me from that spiral. As a result I make a conscious effort to seek companionship even if its not what I want in that moment, something that can become harder the more isolated I become. It's a case of doing what's good for me, not what I want sometimes. Of course, time alone is also important, but i think I naturally gravitate towards that state and so don't need to protect my alone time as much as I need to nurture my social time

I suspect I'm not alone in this, I think humans need each other to provide a kind of balance, though I also suspect that different people will need different amounts of social interaction to achieve that balance, and what they need to do to find that balance wil alter.
 
Associate
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I grew up as an only child, so I was used to being on my own. I met my girlfriend when I was 29 (I'm 40 now), and before then, for the most part, I lived at home with my parents, and although I did spend some time with them, I spent most of my time alone in my bedroom. I had it fully kitted out :). Then about 6 months after meeting the girlfriend, I moved into her flat, after which I was virtually never alone; at first I hated it! It felt very claustrophobic and undoubtedly fuelled arguments.

I'm used to it now though. I think as I've aged, I've got a better balance. I work in IT, and I used to have a desk in the main office with the 'users' but I kept getting moved around so I got sick of that and I now have my desk in the build room which is a small build area that only I and the office floor managers can access. This means I can be on my own but equally I try and get out into the office whenever possible just so I don't get cabin fever (and to show my face, obviously!).

Girlfriend and I work in the same building now (not the same company, thankfully!), which happened by accident and now means that I spend even more time with her than before. I walk to work and back with her and see her on lunch. I felt this was getting a bit too much, so now I have an hour a night in my "man cave" at home to play games, listen to music and just chill without having to speak to anyone. She is supportive of this and she gets to watch her .... on the TV so doesn't mind so much. She also visits her mother every Saturday meaning i get a few hours then. She seems to thrive on company whereas I am the opposite. I do enjoy socialising but then I need me time. Basically, I think that makes me an introvert?
 
Soldato
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I spend quite a bit of time on my own, but I don't want to completely isolate myself.

I find that spending time with people at work is about enough for me to be getting on with. I then have a bit of a catch up with the family after work.

Occasionally go and do stuff with friends, but not that often. I chat to people all the time on WhatsApp though.

Works OK for me at the moment, I am quite happy to spend most of the time on my own as long as I get some external interaction with people.
 
Soldato
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Wakefield
15 minute drive to work and 15 minute drive home. That's pretty much it. What with wife and kids I rarely have any time alone. I did go Airsoft alone last Sunday, and while lots of people where there I did spend large amounts of time skulking through the woods by myself. Was awesome:p
 
Soldato
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29 Mar 2011
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I love being alone always have. I find being alone gives you time to think and work any problems in your life out.

I am on my own 99% of the time, I like myself I just don't like people.
 
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