The 5 year plan to £50k

[RoboCod]

We don't have a basement. Who in the UK has a basement?

That aggravates me so much. I don't care that y'all know I live at home. It's not even unusual (at least down here, or elsewhere like in London, etc).

But for Pete's sake, it's not a basement I have free roam throughout the whole house! Imagine that!

I'm still not going to be a renter. Think I'd rather end it all than pay 75% of my wage to let someone else pay off their mortgage. Not even joking.

Renters are the slave class of modern Britain. They really are. Wage slaves. #RentIsSlavery

So still living with parents and clearly an issue then

Lots of people have basements

 

[flibbage0]

That was my initial advice/contribution to this 5 years ago:





I get the dislike of landlords but that stance taken to that extreme gets a bit silly/irrational and is perhaps something you ought to get to grips with/work to overcome as it could be a bit damaging, especially if it prevents you from otherwise pursuing a career you might enjoy rather than just 'working to live' while staying at your parent's house.

Not to mention it is a useful service for people who want somewhere short term (such a students) and/or want to share with other's. If you already had/have the deposit for a house(IIRC you did/do?) but lack the income then being able to move somewhere in order to establish yourself in a career you might enjoy is surely better in the long term even if short term you need to suck it up and face the prospect that you're helping to line the pockets of some landlord for a couple of years or so while you establish yourself in your chosen career. It can't be good mentally if you're otherwise in a mundane job you don't enjoy and still live with parents, also rather awkward if you've got a partner or are dating etc..

I mean do you have siblings or do you stand to eventually just inherit your parent's house? I guess in the latter case you can perhaps carry on but in the former you might be postposing the inevitable unless you've built up a much bigger deposit and an equity stake from the parent's house split with sibling(s) allows for you to feasibly make a purchase while earning 20-something-k per year.

This message actually hit me, I can really resonate with this because I'm exactly in this situation, hate the job, living at home, have saved up a bit. Earning between 40-50k.

The idea of renting after doing it for 4 years at university really doesn't bode well with me. Main concern is if I make the switch to a different career and don't enjoy that then I would have spent a year or two on rent and missed out on an additional 20-25k salary

It's got to a point where I look at ridiculous cars on autotrader daily and think this will bring me joy, but it won't it's just a distraction from the reality of my job

So foxeye don't feel bad if you haven't met your target of £50k, honestly it means nothing. I was well into my overdraft 5 years ago and strangely enough at my happiest.

Get your work life balance sorted and surround yourself with good people and positive people, good atmosphere etc

 

[FoxEye]

So still living with parents and clearly an issue then

Lots of people have basements

In my head, being a renter would be an issue. Living at home is not.

I know people find it ridiculous, but I refuse to live my life as a slave to a landlord.

And frankly everyone I know who pays rent is crippled by it. Positively crippled. To the point where they can't save a deposit or break the cycle. Slavery, because there is no other choice.

 

[randomshenans]

OK, but as it's been said it often serves a purpose. By that, it could be getting a better job in a location not accessible to your parents. i.e. the flexibility to excel in your career more, where limitations are set geographically currently.
On the otherhand, yes, it's like paying a mortgage, but without the benefit of the house, but if this is the case, are you making the most of your time at your parents by saving a deposit? At least that would be a positive step forwards.

 

[flibbage0]

In my head, being a renter would be an issue. Living at home is not.

I know people find it ridiculous, but I refuse to live my life as a slave to a landlord.

And frankly everyone I know who pays rent is crippled by it. Positively crippled. To the point where they can't save a deposit or break the cycle. Slavery, because there is no other choice.

To be honest I understand this mentality, it's a traditional one that parents/grandparents would follow. However the world is a lot different now, doctors and lawyers are struggling to get onto the property ladder.

What if doing a trainee programme whilst renting for 1 or 2 years meant that you could go back to living at home earning £50k. What I've noticed is that a lot of the junior roles may not be local, however the senior roles are.

There's a reason why some people quit what I do, to go for a job that pays almost half. If you're not happy with what's going on at the moment then something needs to change

 

[Kreeeee]

It is a little frightening that this was 5 years ago. Here we all are, posting on the blue screen after all this time. We are all mad!

For what it’s worth, in that time I’ve learned that money is absolutely not everything!


:/

What's mad is that you don't use the dark theme!

 

[RoboCod]

In my head, being a renter would be an issue. Living at home is not.

You might have convinced yourself it's not an issue, but being a grown man in what, your 30s? It is an issue. You've convinced yourself that renters are the new slave class or something, that's some warped view of the world that has helped you manifest the excuse to stay at home and leach. If what you say is true then in that case your parents are slaves to you.

And despite what your parents say, I guarantee it's an issue for them. When my child is grown up in his 30s I bloody well hope he's stood on his own two feet and got his life on track. If he hasn't then I will take that as an indicator that I've let him down in preparation for life as much as he hasn't gone out and taken it on himself. However, if he is absolutely stuck and asks if I can accommodate him, I'm never going to refuse him am I, he's my son. I'm never going to want to make him feel like he is putting me out, instead I'm going to smile and tell him he's welcome always, all the while probably thinking I'd like to enjoy my retirement in peace as I'd planned ...your poor parent(s).

 

[FoxEye]

You might have convinced yourself it's not an issue, but being a grown man in what, your 30s? It is an issue. You've convinced yourself that renters are the new slave class or something, that's some warped view of the world that has helped you manifest the excuse to stay at home and leach. If what you say is true then in that case your parents are slaves to you.

And despite what your parents say, I guarantee it's an issue for them. When my child is grown up in his 30s I bloody well hope he's stood on his own two feet and got his life on track. If he hasn't then I will take that as an indicator that I've let him down in preparation for life as much as he hasn't gone out and taken it on himself. However, if he is absolutely stuck and asks if I can accommodate him, I'm never going to refuse him am I, he's my son. I'm never going to want to make him feel like he is putting me out, instead I'm going to smile and tell him he's welcome always, all the while probably thinking I'd like to enjoy my retirement in peace as I'd planned ...your poor parent(s).

You don't know what you're talking about.

Not every family is the same.

Perhaps that would be true for your family. I won't claim to know. Neither do you know about mine. Thanks.

 

[randomshenans]

Do you not think that the things you mentioned around your self destruction could be brought on, or exacerbated by your situation in life? Would a change of scenery not potentially be good for you and how you're feeling? Maybe give you more self belief at the same time? It seems like you're caught in a cycle of depression, but without changing something it's hard to break a cycle. I'm not getting on at you, just not nice to see someone feel this way (I've had more than my fair share of battles in my own head) and it might be hard to see it, but are you holding yourself back?

 

[Dyson]

In my head, being a renter would be an issue. Living at home is not.

Do you not pay your parents rent?

 

[dowie]

You don't know what you're talking about.

Not every family is the same.

Perhaps that would be true for your family. I won't claim to know. Neither do you know about mine. Thanks.

Are they not hoping you settle down, have some kids, start a family of your own etc...?

 

[flibbage0]

@FoxEye you should watch and read Jordan Peterson, he's helped lots of men in their 20's and 30's that feel either lost or depressed with no direction in life

 

[Nitefly]

What's mad is that you don't use the dark theme!

Haha I do use the dark theme, but it’s still ‘the blue screen’

 

[El Pew]

@FoxEye you should watch and read Jordan Peterson, he's helped lots of men in their 20's and 30's that feel either lost or depressed with no direction in life

You mean he's helped them become fascist thugs? Don't watch him.

@FoxEye, what steps have you actually taken on your career? Training, self-study, educational courses, anything?

 

[Hedge]

In my head, being a renter would be an issue. Living at home is not.

I know people find it ridiculous, but I refuse to live my life as a slave to a landlord.

And frankly everyone I know who pays rent is crippled by it. Positively crippled. To the point where they can't save a deposit or break the cycle. Slavery, because there is no other choice.

I'm starting to think you have some more deep rooted issues here. Do you actually contribute to your parents household costs?

I have a mortgage, if I lose my job I could lose my house. I feel more of a slave to my house than I would if I rented.

On page one where Kahn made comments it was pretty clear that you talk yourself out of achieving or changing anything anyway.

 

[XeNoNF50]

@FoxEye you should watch and read Jordan Peterson, he's helped lots of men in their 20's and 30's that feel either lost or depressed with no direction in life

Generally the target market for the agendas people like him push

 

[dowie]

Generally the target market for the agendas people like him push

Really? And there was I thinking that psychiatrists targeted people who were perfectly fine and with no mental health issues at all.

That's like saying cancer sufferers are the target market for oncologists. Well no ****.

 

[flibbage0]

You mean he's helped them become fascist thugs? Don't watch him.

@FoxEye, what steps have you actually taken on your career? Training, self-study, educational courses, anything?

In what way does he help them become fascist thugs, how is getting your life in order and prioritising what you want in life and starting with small things like tidying your room fascist?

 

[RoboCod]

You don't know what you're talking about..

I'm sorry to say, I do.

Not every family is the same..

Of course, but that isn't really relevant.

Perhaps that would be true for your family. I won't claim to know. Neither do you know about mine. Thanks.

A decent parent would never tell their child they're out on their arse (unless of course they were causing serious issues, like stealing for drug use). But the harsh reality is, your parents want the best for you, and the best for you is not living at home with mummy all her life. Assuming you're a grown and capable man, that fact is just a given in life. I'm sorry if that fact riles you, it's clearly not what you want to hear but from what you're posting it appears that you're in denial on a number of matters and somewhat willing to take steps towards enriching your life whilst taking responsibility for it. You're still your parents responsibility for one!


Edit: are you a carer for anyone in your household?

 

[FoxEye]

Welcome to ignore @RoboCod. I told you you have no idea what my parents want or think or what their attitudes to me living at home are. Since you can't resist keeping on about it, and I've made it quite clear you're talking ***** (and yet your arrogance seems to let you speak for people you've never met), I can't be bothered to read any more from you. I remember you from other threads btw. I think you're generally quite a spiteful person.

If mods wish to close this thread they are welcome to. I will leave it to their discretion.