I am sincerely sorry for your loss. No matter what people say, it is life changing. You may never get over it. However, you learn to accept it and cope better.
I lost a dear friend of mine when I was 18 to a car incident. It took me years to get over it (if I ever did). It changed my perception of cars to this day. Personal life experiences (good and bad) prepare you though life. I thought I became a little hardened to bereavement because of the experience of this stage in my life.
Two days before Christmas 2016 I lost my mother to Bowel cancer. I was lucky enough to spend some time with her before she died and helped with her end of life care. I guess I kind of accepted hear passing beforehand. For this reason I found it very difficult to grieve or show any emotion afterwards. I have never cried to this day and couldn’t understand why. To be honest, the priority shifted towards my dad who then became ill himself so there was no room or time for her bereavement.
I finally got to speak to someone about it a few weeks ago, only by chance. She said it’s perfectly normal not to have shown the kind of emotion that some people expected from me or otherwise would have shown.. Maybe one day it will come out, when I least expect it. Some people go through the stages of change quicker than others and acceptance is, for a lot of people a stage where most people take longer to overcome. I’m the same with most things. So it wasn’t that I became hardened to bereavement, it was because I accepted it quicker..
Since my mother died, I moved my dad nearer to my home to help care for him. It’s been an upward struggle ever since as he relied so heavily on my mother.. Since then he’s had a kidney failure and a serous stroke inside the same year. This is what I mean about one way or another, the loss of a friend or family is life changing
All the best to everyone who has lost someone close or dear to them.
