Help me English this phrase

Nitefly · 5 Aug 2019 at 18:37

It’s only rude if taken literally. It’s a saying with the intended effect of ‘I am not in a position to help you’. I wouldn’t have perceived it as being rude.

Feek · 5 Aug 2019 at 18:45

"I'd love to help you but I'm sorry, I can't because [insert reason here]" would work better.

Pestilence · 5 Aug 2019 at 18:59

Feek said:
"I'd love to help you but I'm sorry, I can't because [insert reason here]" would work better.

This, lol.

Diddums · 5 Aug 2019 at 19:06

Depends on the delivery, but if you said that to me I'd probably get my knickers in a twist and correct you to "could" as a sweet form of passive aggressive justice to sooth my inner fanny-wobble.

silk186 · 5 Aug 2019 at 19:11

I would say something like. I'm sorry I can help you with your issue, or I can't help resolve this issue.

I'm sorry we can't help you resolve your issue today sounds more professional.

Minusorange · 5 Aug 2019 at 19:14

Diagro said:
That to me sounds rude

It's not though they might be able to help, but health & safety or other rules might prevent them from helping, so that statement perfectly explains it

Tek81 · 5 Aug 2019 at 19:45

Lopéz said:
Well yes, given that is exactly what it means

True

Angilion · 5 Aug 2019 at 19:46

Diagro said:
Oh bugger.

Well.... Hmm. It seems I have been rude to many many many people over the years.
Without even realising it too, in my mind I'm saying "I can't help you at the moment, even though I really do want to".

It seems I need to train myself out of saying the rude version. No wonder some people sound odd on the phone when the conversation ends... I just assumed people were annoyed I didn't have a supplier for their part requirement. Or due to my lack of time or stock.
Turns out I'm just a rude sod xD

I wouldn't say you've been rude because rudeness requires intent or at least a severe lack of consideration. Human language is often imprecise and open to interpretation. The way you've been interpreting the phrase you've been using is not the way many people would interpret it.

You need something short and simple that conveys your intended meaning with less scope for different interpretations. Maybe "I'd like to help you, but I can't".

Minusorange said:
I can't help you, even if I was able to, is the courteous response no ?

I'd interpret that as contradicting itself and thus being at best meaningless. "can" and "able to" mean the same thing, so it's impossible for "able to help you" and "can't help you" to both be true.

Thekwango · 5 Aug 2019 at 20:01

Kenai said:
I can't help you, even though I want to

That's fine and I think is what you thought you were saying to people.

nail on head. I think op has been mixing these 2 statements up.

Dirk Diggler · 5 Aug 2019 at 20:43

Diagro said:
"Sorry, I don't have stock, so I can't help you even if I wanted to".

Change this to the following, and you're golden:

Sorry, I don't have stock

You're welcome.

Minusorange · 5 Aug 2019 at 20:48

Angilion said:
I'd interpret that as contradicting itself and thus being at best meaningless. "can" and "able to" mean the same thing, so it's impossible for "able to help you" and "can't help you" to both be true.

As I said previously, due to rules like health & safety or some other, you might be able to help, but you can't help, forbidden would be the correct wordage but who says "I'm forbidden from helping you" ? So yes you can be "able" to help somebody but in reality you cannot

cheesyboy · 5 Aug 2019 at 21:00

Lol. Most definitely rude!

I should read more Diagro threads. I remember how much they always amused me

[FnG]magnolia · 5 Aug 2019 at 21:23

The conditional suggests that your natural state, all else being equal, is not to be helpful.

I'm not sure a customer facing role is for you.

cheesyboy · 5 Aug 2019 at 21:26

[FnG]magnolia said:
I'm not sure a customer facing role is for you.

If I remember a past thread correctly, involving Diagro managing to give the impression to a customer that he was grooming the guy's daughter over some phone repair 'come to my house for a special price love' misunderstanding, you might be right

Nb. I might not have that memory entirely square

[FnG]magnolia · 5 Aug 2019 at 21:37

I would watch that film.

Angilion · 6 Aug 2019 at 02:10

Minusorange said:
As I said previously, due to rules like health & safety or some other, you might be able to help, but you can't help, forbidden would be the correct wordage but who says "I'm forbidden from helping you" ? So yes you can be "able" to help somebody but in reality you cannot

Well not really, but OK. English is often sloppy. I'd be more accurate and say "I'm not allowed to help you", but some people would say they can't even though they can.

Feef · 6 Aug 2019 at 03:48

Hurrah, a mention for the conditional. Always going to be "I couldn't ..." in that sense. But I suspect that's the least of the issues going on here.

Hotwired · 6 Aug 2019 at 04:10

It's not a great customer facing phrase because it can be correctly understood as negative.

It sounds like you being cheeky which maybe you can pull off.

Replace with

Sorry I can't help, we're out of stock.

Diagro · 6 Aug 2019 at 05:25

cheesyboy said:
If I remember a past thread correctly, involving Diagro managing to give the impression to a customer that he was grooming the guy's daughter over some phone repair 'come to my house for a special price love' misunderstanding, you might be right

Nb. I might not have that memory entirely square

Not quite.

I asked them to collect their device from the location I was at that time, as I wasn't working that day. Just so happened to be my house.
Turns out the customer was a young teen and the father took it the wrong way.

Some people are just morons.....

CREATIVE!11 · 6 Aug 2019 at 11:51

"Even if I wanted to"

Makes it sort of sound like you are saying, I don't really want to help in the first place.

I wouldn't word it like that. I would have just said unfortunately I dont have the part in stock so i'm afraid I am unable to help.