Soldato
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Associate
Wow, I think you should have done a little self educating before completely over reacting. Yes, a cold sore is contagious, & yes it is a strain of herpes but it's very common and can be treated/actions can be taken to avoid it spreading. It sounds like she's used to having a flare up from stress, so I doubt she'd go out of her way to infect you.
A simple google would have lead you to articles such as this ...
this isn't going to last long if an STI is the first thing you thought it would be
+1 This
+1 to it not lasting long .
I could literally just be a cold sore. That's actually a herpes type virus but not the one you're thinking of.
Today doesn't even cross my mind until I read your diagnosis
Be careful , it's quite the accusation ''you've given me herpes'
I could literally just be a cold sore. That's actually a herpes type virus but not the one you're thinking of.
Today doesn't even cross my mind until I read your diagnosis
Be careful , it's quite the accusation ''you've given me herpes'
Soldato
No, I really wouldn't corner her with a loaded question. If you want to know, ask. If you want to trust her, offer her honesty yourself. However...
Herpes is not a cold sore and a cold sore is not herpes. There are two herpes simplex viruses, and both are typically (but not always) found in their respective natural locations. So... Regardless of which virus strain she has, it's a cold sore *if that is even what it is*.
"Did you hide herpes from me" will, guaranteed, damage her ability to feel trusted and safe. "Is it a cold sore? Just so I know" is merely asking to be informed.
Bear in mind if it is a recurring condition, she has already thought through how to reduce risk of passing it on to her peers. She's not trying to hide anything.
That's if it even is a cold sore! Quit trying to play detective and tell her up front you'd like to understand
Soldato
She has probably had all this before too, so wouldn't be surprised if stirring her hornests nest doesn't work out well for him.
I gotta wonder when he was last checked for STI's too because if he hasn't, or it was a long time ago who knows what he could be carrying himself.
Soldato
The coldsore virus can be passed on even when there are no symptoms! It's kinda amazing that the whole population arent carriers, the internet suggests that 2/3 of the population are!
Good advice all. I'll try and be a bit more tactful.
I know it could be something else but all signs seem to point to herpes simplex so far.
I did have a sexual health screening recently but don't know if it included herpes. I've read that HSV1 is so common that it's not tested (and of course can be transmitted without sex). I might look into getting tested, also for HSV2 as apparently that can be passed on to the mouth area too.
Will have to mull things over as until now we've been in the honeymoon period and now reality is taking hold.
I know it could be something else but all signs seem to point to herpes simplex so far.
I did have a sexual health screening recently but don't know if it included herpes. I've read that HSV1 is so common that it's not tested (and of course can be transmitted without sex). I might look into getting tested, also for HSV2 as apparently that can be passed on to the mouth area too.
Will have to mull things over as until now we've been in the honeymoon period and now reality is taking hold.
Soldato
Any more detail and I'd say this is a medical thread. Just start a conversation with her
Man of Honour
All this over a coldsore, I'd just end it now to be honest and maybe avoid any human contact forever as we've all got germs lurking.
Quickly how how the milk turns sour.. women are such hard work. Then even worse when you split.. got kids so not that straight forward to walk away. Which I have to keep the peace for the kids. I'm 40 still feels hard starting again.. 2 houses and a shop to pay for, yeh times are hard. Married never again.
Associate
Cold sore (HSV-1) and herpes (HSV-2) can be transmitted to both the face area and genitals.
Very contagious when active and still a possibility of passing it on when not visible as the virus is shedding at times. Can still catch it even with protection depending on location.
Was never aware of this until I went on a date with someone who had herpes and she explained the risks if we went ahead, which we didn't in the end.
Very contagious when active and still a possibility of passing it on when not visible as the virus is shedding at times. Can still catch it even with protection depending on location.
Was never aware of this until I went on a date with someone who had herpes and she explained the risks if we went ahead, which we didn't in the end.
At least she told you.
When I was younger I caught Chlamydia off this girl, I told the her when I got the results from the clinic.
She said "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get myself sorted." Continued sleeping with another guy knowing full well what she had given me.
Soldato
I confronted a girl I'd been seeing about the same issue aged 21, she denied it and pointed the finger at me. Sort of confirmed she'd been cheating on me.
Associate
Yes I was pleased she did, unfortunately for her the person in the past didn't give her the same choice.
What made it worse the cheeky bint approached me the following week on a night out and asked if I was up for sex again. Conversation went something like this..
Her "Fancy another round of sex tonight?"
Me "No! You gave me an STD, have you been to the clinic yet?!?!"
Her "Not yet...........I will book myself in next week. We can use protection this time"
Me "........."
I walked off to the bar to see my friend.
Learnt my lesson that week, sexual health is never worth the risk. 18 years old back then and thought I was immortal!! I was not!
God knows what its like now with the popularity of internet dating.
No her security settings have clearly been adjusted and you cant as a none friend see anything after that point, and only stuff that was posted publically before that.