OcUK Dadsnet thread

robj20 · 6 Sep 2019 at 17:56

Well had the guy round from Early Support Team. Seems a great team to have onboard, going to help with whatever we need help with.
He's getting someone to start coming round to the house to play with George and assess him at the same time on a weekly basis to see what educational needs he might need.
We will get first choice of what ever school we want and help taking him and picking him up from school if we need it.
It's nice to see our council being so good with this sort of thing.

Devrij · 6 Sep 2019 at 18:20

robj20 said:
Well had the guy round from Early Support Team. Seems a great team to have onboard, going to help with whatever we need help with.
He's getting someone to start coming round to the house to play with George and assess him at the same time on a weekly basis to see what educational needs he might need.
We will get first choice of what ever school we want and help taking him and picking him up from school if we need it.
It's nice to see our council being so good with this sort of thing.

Glad to hear you're getting the support you need for George!

Me, the support I'm getting is even better. Mother in law is taking Riley up north to stay with brother in law for a WEEK! I am off work for the week, so my wife and I have a whole week off being responsible adults. I am so excited to just go for a coffee, watch a film in bed, and finally get our bondage kit back out.

ci_newman · 7 Sep 2019 at 08:10

Devrij said:
Glad to hear you're getting the support you need for George!

Me, the support I'm getting is even better. Mother in law is taking Riley up north to stay with brother in law for a WEEK! I am off work for the week, so my wife and I have a whole week off being responsible adults. I am so excited to just go for a coffee, watch a film in bed, and finally get our bondage kit back out.

Child # 2 coming in roughly 9months then?

Devrij · 7 Sep 2019 at 10:56

ci_newman said:
Child # 2 coming in roughly 9months then?

Haha... No. One is plenty for us. I'm gaining an inch of forehead for every year I've had my daughter and I don't need to accelerate that.

SixTwoSix · 7 Sep 2019 at 11:02

Devrij said:
Haha... No. One is plenty for us. I'm gaining an inch of forehead for every year I've had my daughter and I don't need to accelerate that.

I've had more grey develop in the few years since my son was born than ever before. Missus wants another ASAP but I need a couple more years before I head to breakdown City.

phill9800 · 9 Sep 2019 at 11:25

How was everyone's weekends?

Managed to get to see my daughter of 7 (Isabelle) for the weekend, very late Friday getting home (lovely 4 hour around trip to pick her up) and then a late one on Sunday coming back with meeting up with a friend for a catch up.. She was definitely not herself this weekend...
My youngest Sophia seems to be bouncing along as normal, so happy and smiley I try and capture every single one I can

Think she'll be teething soon, definitely need to watch my fingers near her.. There's nothing she won't try eat at the moment

Ah it kinda sucks to be at work and away from them both

RoboCod · 9 Sep 2019 at 12:02

Teeth giving him grief, holding his head and bad poops along with rubbish nights sleeps (not that we get a good night ever anyway)... It will get better they say.

Quartz · 9 Sep 2019 at 12:08

SixTwoSix said:
Missus wants another ASAP but I need a couple more years before I head to breakdown City.

You're both on a clock. She more than you.

SixTwoSix · 9 Sep 2019 at 12:24

Quartz said:
You're both on a clock. She more than you.

Yeah, that's a given, but she's only 33 to my 40 years so I think we could "safely" wait a couple more years.

RoboCod · 9 Sep 2019 at 13:26

SixTwoSix said:
Yeah, that's a given, but she's only 33 to my 40 years so I think we could "safely" wait a couple more years.

Just get it done

SixTwoSix · 9 Sep 2019 at 13:55

RoboCod said:
Just get it done

There are a few other considerations - she's only been back in full time work for 3 months post pregnancy and really landed on her feet and loves what she does. Add to that we're saving towards a mortgage deposit. Finally she's not English and while we've been married 5 years and together 12 and she has "settled" status, there is a little brexit uncertainty. While the latter is frankly the least of our concerns, we're in uncharted territory with our government so not sure what may happen.

Happy to keep practicing though

wonder_lander · 9 Sep 2019 at 14:15

We took our caravan to the site at Uttoxeter Racecourse and then went to do Ice Skating, something my wife and two boys have never done before. We had a brilliant time and the boys confidence grow over the hour or so that we were there. Love trying new things

Quartz · 9 Sep 2019 at 14:52

SixTwoSix said:
Yeah, that's a given, but she's only 33 to my 40 years so I think we could "safely" wait a couple more years.

Actually no you can't. The decline of female fertility is well-known, and your wife is at the age where her fertility starts to decline rapidly, but male fertility also declines in the 40s. You are 30% less fertile than when you were in your 20s.

Studies demonstrate that, even when controlling for the age of their partners (since older men tend to have older female partners), increasing male age is associated with male fertility decline, defined as increased time to pregnancy and decreased pregnancy rates. In one study of over 8,000 pregnancies, conception in one year was 30% less likely for men over age 40 compared with men under age 30.
In another survey of 1,976 women, an even stronger age effect was found: researchers reported that the average time to pregnancy for men aged 45 years and older was five times greater than the average time to pregnancy for men under age 25. In another study of 901 cycles of intrauterine insemination (a treatment for infertility), men over 35 had pregnancy rates of 25%, compared with pregnancy rates of 52% in men under 35 years.

iamtheoneneo · 9 Sep 2019 at 15:09

SixTwoSix said:
I've had more grey develop in the few years since my son was born than ever before. Missus wants another ASAP but I need a couple more years before I head to breakdown City.

I know your kinda joking but mental health of parents is a serious consideration. So many parents jumping to have a second basically due to chemicals in the body (particularly in females!) without actually thinking carefully if it's the right thing to be doing.

SixTwoSix · 9 Sep 2019 at 15:19

Quartz said:
Actually no you can't. The decline of female fertility is well-known, and your wife is at the age where her fertility starts to decline rapidly, but male fertility also declines in the 40s. You are 30% less fertile than when you were in your 20s.

It's not the end of the world if we don't have another, we'll try when we're both ready, if it happens great, if not then life goes on. On a side note, my dad had my half sister when he was 52 and my granddad on same side has my dads brother in late 40's. From my side at least we have great fertility

I know I might seem flippant and I appreciate the info but we're very much in the place where we take each day/month/year as it comes as we've both been through some hard times in the last few decades.

SixTwoSix · 9 Sep 2019 at 15:24

iamtheoneneo said:
I know your kinda joking but mental health of parents is a serious consideration. So many parents jumping to have a second basically due to chemicals in the body (particularly in females!) without actually thinking carefully if it's the right thing to be doing.

I'm actually quite serious with my "breakdown city" comment. I've posted in the mental health thread over the last few years but I had a near full mental meltdown close to two years ago. Due to a culmination of sleepless nights, newborn baby health fears, money worries with being the sole wage earner and the sudden and very real realisation of my own mortality. The latter was the crux of the whole breakdown. I remained mostly functional after a short time off work, used medication in conjuction with a therapist via NHS who was amazing and got to the bottom of my worries/issues.

Fast forward to now and i'm very much a day to day person which I never was prior as mentioned in the post just before.

NVP · 9 Sep 2019 at 15:44

subbytna said:
After 7 weeks (yes seven) of potty training, we've used the last nappy we'll ever have to use. Thank god. Twin boys take turns to out pee each other at the "big toilet" lol.

Haha awesome!

Good work

phill9800 · 9 Sep 2019 at 16:36

RoboCod said:
Teeth giving him grief, holding his head and bad poops along with rubbish nights sleeps (not that we get a good night ever anyway)... It will get better they say.

I've got that to come I think, but Sophia doesn't seem to be bothered about anything.. She's just smiling regardless and doesn't stop

Even when she's hungry, quick fix, give her something to eat or a bottle to go to sleep with and she's happy then

Think she's starting to teeth a bit since she's munching away on everything... That said, she's tried everything we've given her, she's eaten the lot!!

So proud

RoboCod · 9 Sep 2019 at 18:07

wonder_lander said:
We took our caravan to the site at Uttoxeter Racecourse and then went to do Ice Skating, something my wife and two boys have never done before. We had a brilliant time and the boys confidence grow over the hour or so that we were there. Love trying new things

How old are yours? A really random one this and maybe not to your liking but Amazon do free guided tours of their distro centres and it's actually quite interesting. Good for children too of course.

https://www.aboutamazon.co.uk/amazon-fulfilment/tour-an-amazon-fulfilment-centre/

wonder_lander · 9 Sep 2019 at 21:28

RoboCod said:
How old are yours? A really random one this and maybe not to your liking but Amazon do free guided tours of their distro centres and it's actually quite interesting. Good for children too of course.

https://www.aboutamazon.co.uk/amazon-fulfilment/tour-an-amazon-fulfilment-centre/

They are 7 and 5 so maybe a bit young!