Soldato
StriderX seems a bit defensive over this relationship doesn't he.
"We have found the formula for a perfect model relationship." [ARTICLE]
- Thread starter Omaeka
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So your other half gets pillboxs while you flap off in the other room, nasty. Women have it is so much easier when it come to sex as there is an endless supply of saps. Any man in his right mind would throw her out or depending on the mortgage repayments run out that door if their wife/girlfriend was getting Macroned.
Nah you're well wide of the mark.
I'm one of the most beta men on the planet, most likely. My record with the wimmins is non-existent, because I can't even look them in the eyes.
The idea of settling for this kind of relationship - even if it was the only thing on offer from now until I die - is not something even I would be prepared to accept. It's not even a question of self-respect, because I don't really respect myself in the slightest.
It's a question of not wanting to put yourself in a position of submission, and shame, and humiliation.
Some people like that/get off on it. But that's nothing to do with alpha/beta status. This chap is either living in complete denial, or enjoying the humiliation it brings.
I'd rather stick with internet porn
Fair enough re: the rest of your post but I would quibble here and say that the behaviour of the author is very much "beta", that doesn't necessarily imply that all "beta males" are necessarily going to be into this but just that, along with being an incel, being cuckolded is generally considered to be a very beta thing.
I'm not an "incel". That word has a lot of connotations of women-hate and all that jazz. None of which applies to me.
I'm a bloke who isn't that fussed about being in a relationship, and whilst occasionally I might think, "What's wrong with you, man," I mostly just find other things to do, and save myself the stress of it all.
Most blokes find women enjoyable to be around, but for me the stress it generates is insurmountable. That doesn't make me hate women, I just can't act normally around them, is all.
Some people would question if I can act normally at any time, but those people are dirty left-wing types whose opinions are even less wanted than my own
This is precisely it for me. If he had the option and declined, no problem. The fact that option is taken away from him despite it being requested by his partner is not a fair and equal relationship.
Sort of on topic, but logically speaking I've always felt that the possessive nature of our sexual relationships is an interesting demonstration of just how powerfully our cultures shape our feelings. In theory, I shouldn't have an issue with my wife having a purely physical relationship with someone else, any more than I should have issue with her being friends with someone. It shouldn't impact our relationship. And yet, I would be devastated if she did, or at best would find it extremely uncomfortable even if I could accept it logically. Same goes if it were me in the other shoes. The only reason I can imagine I'd feel that way is because I've spent my life being told that I should. Any other perspectives on that?
Well you can't get an STD from being friends with someone, so the "possessive nature" or relationships does have some practical benefits.
e: Also the implications of unwanted pregnancy. A bit different if its by your partner than some random hook up.
Droll, but actually you might be onto something. Maybe we are historically jealous lovers because we don't want to raise the offspring of others. I suppose it's not uncommon in nature either.
Caporegime
It’s pretty normal, the possessiveness for some doesn’t just fall within the relationship period either. Whether they would admit to it or not most men aren’t comfortable with the thought that another dude has had his member in their partner before them. Whereas women aren’t so fussed about a mans history, in fact a more sexually successful man can be more appealing to them.
I can’t imagine how someone like Kanye West must feel when there’s a video of his wife all over the internet getting the BBC, I’d say without doubt it contributed towards his mental health issues.
Yes.
People are possessive in relationships because on some selfish human level they treat others like possessions. In other words, no matter how you logically frame your emotions there will be a part of you that thinks your partner is yours. And that’s a natural, human defence because it means you monopolise the sexual output and reproduction of your partner.
Feelings do not have to be logical or consistent. It’s also perfectly possible to feel and think things that are absurd polar opposites at the same time (especially sexually and on this very issue, namely wanting your partner to be faithful yet legitimately having the horn elsewhere). I wouldn’t feel bad about it if you did. We’re human. I suggest we are defined (and should be judged) predominantly by our actions. Your actions are you more than anything else. You can’t control your feelings or thoughts and it take some guru-like temperance to stop them controlling you.
Funny enough, after being with my wife for 10 years, one night she asked if I knew that, before we started dating, she was FWB with a mutual friend of ours who now is married in another country. Absurdly, despite this happening 11 years ago, completely legitimately, I felt like I'd been cheated on because I had just found out about it.
So yeah, logic and emotion make strange bedfellows.
I've always assumed that it was a cultural thing. @Nitefly it sounds as though you're suggesting it's more of a baked in psychological situation?
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@Devrij quote fail? ^
I certainly think that culture pressure influences our tendency towards monogamy (which is on balance how most people successfully sustain their sexual and companionship needs). What I was suggesting is that people inherently want their partners to be monogamous in order to monopolise them, despite the fact they may selfishly (and very secretly) want to be polygamous - to plunder the fruits of the world and return to their faithful and committed partner without criticism for their ways. It’s absurd and childish on any logical level (i.e. having your cake and eating it). But probably true for many people (to varying degrees).
I certainly think that culture pressure influences our tendency towards monogamy (which is on balance how most people successfully sustain their sexual and companionship needs). What I was suggesting is that people inherently want their partners to be monogamous in order to monopolise them, despite the fact they may selfishly (and very secretly) want to be polygamous - to plunder the fruits of the world and return to their faithful and committed partner without criticism for their ways. It’s absurd and childish on any logical level (i.e. having your cake and eating it). But probably true for many people (to varying degrees).
Caporegime
Soldato
I'm not an "incel". That word has a lot of connotations of women-hate and all that jazz. None of which applies to me.
I'm a bloke who isn't that fussed about being in a relationship, and whilst occasionally I might think, "What's wrong with you, man," I mostly just find other things to do, and save myself the stress of it all.
Most blokes find women enjoyable to be around, but for me the stress it generates is insurmountable. That doesn't make me hate women, I just can't act normally around them, is all.
Some people would question if I can act normally at any time, but those people are dirty left-wing types whose opinions are even less wanted than my own
You cannot be not that fussed, its either you want it or not.
Do you have stress interacting with people or is it specifically women?
Nothing is insurmountable