So I'm back on the single pile after 4 and a bit years. She has kids and felt like she didn't have the time to give me the relationship I wanted/deserved (although I half expect there was more to it...).
We'd split 3-4 times before over the years but she'd always messaged me after a few days and said she regretted it...not this time.
I think it may be best to leave it as I had been having doubts about the longevity of it for at least the last few months. She was almost 10 years older than me and I did at times think I was maybe missing opportunities to meet someone that would be a better fit for my life.
Went for a few drinks at the weekend and a friend's GF suggested introducing me to her friend who is quite a bit younger than me, so will see how that goes. Also re-ignited tinder, got one match so far but again think I could probably do better IRL, she also unmatched me within around 10 minutes so I'm really seeing the power balance thing in action online!
Going to take a few months out (assuming the friend connection doesn't pan out), try to get in better shape and get back in touch with friends more socially then take it from there.
Feels good to get that off my chest