Does anyone else have no friends?

[Slam62]

Would you talk to your wife about the women you slept with before you met her or the hot women on the street you love to have sex with if you wasn't married....?

Err yes and hot women you see are at that stage are just passing and therefore really irrelevant in every way.

Not only that but you can't just have sex with anyone you like, relationships are what matter not fantasy sex.

To be honest I've been away for the weekend with a group of older blokes some of whom did the old corr look at that thing and it was pathetic.

 

[R.P.L]

Its good to talk to people, that's why counselling exists.

Not for everyone.

 

[Psycho Sonny]

I'm not sure about the whole friends thing, what defines a friend?
Different personalities and all that,
I know people who have loads of friends, but I just don't have the time, I find life too much hassle as it is and I need my own time.

I literally do not socialise except through going out with the wife, and my wife is my best friend.

I have known loads of people over the years and found a few on social media but don't feel inclined to go any further.

I think its questionable not to have your wife as your best friend, is she just a trophy or someone to do the washing? Seems very odd to me.

Do you talk to your wife about how voluptuous "Kim K's" assets are, etc? Would you go on a bender with your wife? etc, I would say some people probably do. Others know the boundaries whereas with friends usually there aren't many boundaries other than the sexual ones even then sometimes not.

Wife is a friend of sorts but I wouldn't answer if someone asked me who my friends are, etc. It's a different relationship than from a friend. Soul mate is more apt IMO. I'm not saying you can't be friends with your wife you can be. It's just to say I only have 4 friends and 1 of them is my wife. To me that then says you only have 3 friends tbh.

If I was to add family into the friends circle then hell my numbers would easily triple.

 

[Slam62]

Do you talk to your wife about how voluptuous "Kim K's" assets are, etc? Would you go on a bender with your wife? etc, I would say some people probably do. Others know the boundaries whereas with friends usually there aren't many boundaries other than the sexual ones even then sometimes not.

Wife is a friend of sorts but I wouldn't answer if someone asked me who my friends are, etc. It's a different relationship than from a friend. Soul mate is more apt IMO. I'm not saying you can't be friends with your wife you can be. It's just to say I only have 4 friends and 1 of them is my wife. To me that then says you only have 3 friends tbh.

If I was to add family into the friends circle then hell my numbers would easily triple.

Yes but are you happy?, really

 

[morbid42]

My enemies are my friends

 

[AHarvey]

Do you talk to your wife about how voluptuous "Kim K's" assets are, etc? Would you go on a bender with your wife? etc, I would say some people probably do. Others know the boundaries whereas with friends usually there aren't many boundaries other than the sexual ones even then sometimes not.

Wife is a friend of sorts but I wouldn't answer if someone asked me who my friends are, etc. It's a different relationship than from a friend. Soul mate is more apt IMO. I'm not saying you can't be friends with your wife you can be. It's just to say I only have 4 friends and 1 of them is my wife. To me that then says you only have 3 friends tbh.

If I was to add family into the friends circle then hell my numbers would easily triple.

You can have friends you don't talk certain subjects with.

New hot girl in the office, not one to talk to your missus about. Christmas plans, not your Muslim mate. Immigration, not your mate who's sound but also a bit thick and supports BNP/UKIP etc.

You cater your conversation topics to the friend you're talking too.

I know a lad called James, the only thing he likes to talk about it sports, I hate talking sports, but if I didn't I'd talk to him about that, not about the latest news in information security like I do with the other lad I know, Nathan.

Just because you can't talk to your missus about wanting to bend the new girl over doesn't mean she's not a friend.

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Christmas plans, not your Muslim mate

Hmm, all my Muslim mates will be having a Christmas Day meal and be buying their kids presents.
My Muslim manager is taking me for a Christmas meal and guess what, little baby Jesus is a Muslim Prophet.

 

[Drumroll]

Don't worry. You're doing well.
Me and the Mrs don't even host a single meal per year.
Brother live nearby, with children, and the only way I see them is if I go there, which I do, as long as they're young and can't come to see me at their own accord.
I've been living in the UK for over 13 years now, but as I moved here at the age of 24, all the usual friendship from school years or teenage was past for me.
Coming from Brazil, were people really get along and have strong connections with neighbours, work colleagues, it's quite challenging, but not to the point to regretting moving here. Just a different culture, I guess.

 

[mrk]

I think its a computer, nerd, geek thing myself.

Misconception most of the time lol. I think ocuk is one of the few places where people meet up through the different sub forums at leats annually or do community based things and people stay in touch. I've made a few friends off here that I'm still in contact with.

Thing is most people will only have a very small handful of truly best friends and those will be people typically they've met later on in adult life rather than grew up with. Everyone else is just a standard friend. Someone you'd share a drink or meal with and a chat maybe even regularly, but not something with a close bond if that makes sense.

People mentioned not drinking above and a such find it boring when out with workmates/friends. I don't drink either but do go out once a month with workmates as a team meal night out, whilst they drink I have tea and it's just become a thing over time. If the people you are around are like minded then nothing like this is ever an issue.

I doubt many blokes have day to day relationships/contact with their male friends. I guess this isn't really the thread to ask what the case is for people

It definitely is a bloke thing but also about mindset. a few of my male mates are indeed good mates, we do stuff together whether it's photo related, an event or meal and so on. It's just that, guys chilling out. But I'm actually closer friends to their other halves than them which works out really well. When I want to do guy things I'll chill out with the former, but when I want a deep and/or meaningful conversation about a topic over lunch/dinner or just to catch up or whatever then it's with those ladies. That sort of dynamic works really well as you get both sides and everyone's better off for it.

If you're struggling to find the right people, then a) don't struggle, and b) don't try to find them. If you're presenting yourself as an approachable/genuine person to people you meet day in day out because that's who you are then the same types of people will automatically cross paths with you. You can try and search for years and nothing will ever come of it, but the moment you forget about a and b, everything just falls into place without you having to even lift a finger. Genuine people will attract genuine people, it's like some kind of invisible force.

Being negative about any situation and brooding over it will distance people not bring them closer.

 

[RxR]

Some people need interaction with people more than others. Some (a minority) really dont. I am never lonely when I am on my own. However, I find that my ability to speak without vocal impairment (form the correct word sounds) really diminishes around the three week mark of not having uttered a single word to another in that time window.

e: aside, there are a few (5) core behavioral traits that are assessible in early life and life-long - sociability is one of them. Irritability another.

 

[Tom|Nbk]

Spoke about this with my mrs recently and we joked, apart from family who would come to the wedding , I have an extremely small circle and so does she, we don't feel we need anymore, life just works as is. When I was younger I think it bothered me, not so much now.

 

[Digital X]

I had a few friends at secondary school, left that at 15 to private education and made some more there (ended up at raves etc, was a good time) Moved to another town and here I don't have one, guy I used to speak with moved to Florida with his wife, I don't mind being alone though quite happy with it.

 

[Nitefly]

I'm not sure about the whole friends thing, what defines a friend?
Different personalities and all that,
I know people who have loads of friends, but I just don't have the time, I find life too much hassle as it is and I need my own time.

I literally do not socialise except through going out with the wife, and my wife is my best friend.

I have known loads of people over the years and found a few on social media but don't feel inclined to go any further.

I think its questionable not to have your wife as your best friend, is she just a trophy or someone to do the washing? Seems very odd to me.

Do you talk to your wife about how voluptuous "Kim K's" assets are, etc? Would you go on a bender with your wife? etc, I would say some people probably do. Others know the boundaries whereas with friends usually there aren't many boundaries other than the sexual ones even then sometimes not.

Wife is a friend of sorts but I wouldn't answer if someone asked me who my friends are, etc. It's a different relationship than from a friend. Soul mate is more apt IMO. I'm not saying you can't be friends with your wife you can be. It's just to say I only have 4 friends and 1 of them is my wife. To me that then says you only have 3 friends tbh.

If I was to add family into the friends circle then hell my numbers would easily triple.

I think you’re both right in different ways. Or, less diplomatically, that you’re both wrong

Your partner should be one of your best friends. Very few people can find everything they want in a single person. It’s just not possible.

For example, you probably aren’t going to find the comradery you find as being part of a man’s football team in your wife. That have each other’s back, ‘die for the squad’ / ‘mighty ducks for life’ feeling provides a great sense of belonging and fun. Within that group, there is likely to be zero sexual or administrative conflict.

A long term intimate / sexual relationship is far, far more layered and complex than any other relationship (probably). For a start, you’re probably going to live with them. Living with anyone can provide conflict that needs resolving. Then there is often some level of sexual / reproductive conflict (do you have kids? do they truly satisfy all your sexual needs?) - so really open channels of communication are necessary for the relationship to thrive, in a way that’s just not necessary for any other sort of relationship. Therefore other relationships where there is less scope for conflict are likely to be more care-free. It’s just a different type of relationship, both are great.

There’s many different types of loves. You love your mum, your sister, your daughter, your wife, your pet and your friends. They are all different sorts of relationship. I will boldly suggest that ideally your partner is mix of all of the different loves, which all overlap in different ways at different times (plus the bonus fulfilment of sexual / reproductive needs).

 

[MichaelAwkward]

I'm friendly with people from work, keep in touch with a few people from the internet, live with my partner and one of my work friends is perhaps what I'd call my best friend at the moment.

We go running together twice a week after work, go to see films and eat together or on a double date with our partners, went to the Lake District a few weeks ago for the weekend, etc.

I think that's fairly healthy for a busy nearly 30 year old with a full time job. Don't keep in touch with anyone from school, uni, etc though. We all moved away to different places.

 

[the shadow]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNHRONqCAB8

 

[moon man]

My only friend is my ex tbh ,shes the only person I actually meet up with ,my family are all up country,

found making new friends at school easy and as a teen and young guy (had a lads night out gang)

then lost touch when I had kids ,

I have an amazing lifestyle but im now a solitary person ,can go weeks without a conversation face to face {talk to family a lot ,voice call and wattsapp)

but not trying to make friends ,i dont feel conversation wise I have anything to offer ,sometimes I try to talk more and its just forced and dosnt flow

ive just done the Camino (5week walk across spain) and that involved sleeping in alburgues (hostels) with up to 100 m&f sharing a room ,this has helped take the edge of my nerves meeting people but my conversational skills are still dire

 

[Slam62]

Yes my conversation skills are dire and I quite often feel like I've said the wrong thing by trying too hard.
The wife just silently roll eyes and moves on.

I'm not really that interested in other people, apart from very occasionally something clicks and I find the others very interesting, mainly because of their past and present life. Gives me an insight I wouldn't otherwise get.
But some people can be just pointless to talk to, I hate forced conversations.

 

[Puzzled]

Yes my conversation skills are dire and I quite often feel like I've said the wrong thing by trying too hard.
The wife just silently roll eyes and moves on.

I'm not really that interested in other people, apart from very occasionally something clicks and I find the others very interesting, mainly because of their past and present life. Gives me an insight I wouldn't otherwise get.
But some people can be just pointless to talk to, I hate forced conversations.

Out of interest how did u meet your partner?

I'm amazed at how many people have commented in this thread that they don't like talking to people and yet have managed to get married.

Did you all just meet up on a drunken night on the dancefloor and make enough grunts to win her over

 

[malachi]

Out of interest how did u meet your partner?

I'm amazed at how many people have commented in this thread that they don't like talking to people and yet have managed to get married.

Did you all just meet up on a drunken night on the dancefloor and make enough grunts to win her over

Internet..... don't need talking skills with it.... Lol.

 

[John Stape]

Signing in

Enjoy my own company