Does anyone else have no friends?

Soldato
Joined
9 Jul 2003
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9,595
The guy in the vid has autistic physical traits. Of course he enjoys being alone. He can hardly be lonely :)

What makes you say that, just looks cold to me :p

Tbh nothing he is saying is that radical, everyone should be able to spend time alone without going crazy. If you need constant company / attention then that suggests that you don't like being with your own thoughts which isn't a healthy mental state.

Like everything you need balance.
 
Soldato
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14 Jul 2005
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Birmingham
Nice to see so many people in similar situation to me. I thought my situation was not that common but maybe we are all misled by what we think other people do.

I know lots of people who I hardly ever see.

I see lots of people but based around work or activities (sports, walking, organised nights out) rather than social for the sake of being social. Im not chatty, so I dont just chat to people much unless its about a specific topic of mutual interest.

Ive never had the 'drop in' type of friendship with anyone which I thought was common (often presented this way on media) but now realise its not.

I think from reading this thread that probably many of us have similar friend situations, but how we percieve them (depending on your mood, anxiety level, with underlying depression) makes us either happy or not with that similar situation.
 
Soldato
Joined
12 Dec 2006
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5,129
Here's an interesting development surrounding a mate of mine through school and work after 20+ years.

We worked at the same company after school where there was a group of us, and we all had a laugh loading lorries in between lobbing tomatoes at each other. But over the years they left and we stayed, moving into different roles.

In the very latter years he starts getting big promotions and is utterly consumed by it. Constantly talking shop will not stfu.

Rewind to this time last year and once again, relations sour with my office co-workers. Said mate in his position is informed that complaints have been made, and at great risk infiltrates HR snapping them up page by page which I read week before I'm officially handed them.

We make a plan. Plan is to nail them to the wall.

Dude totally cops-out in witness statement and declares nothing of what had really transpired, just neutral fence-sitting comments all the way through. Except for one bit in an attempt to impress his boss, inadvertently lent massive weight to some of their accusations. That single line was so critical it was even used against me in my appeal.

So I'm not so sure I agree with the 'Iron-Clad' reference I saw further up any more :p

I don't really get this story.
 
Associate
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St. Helens & Blackpool
I don’t any friends other than my wife. I’ve not really talked to any of the guys i grew up with for about 15 years. Their lives where consumed by causing bother and social drugs, and i wasn't really into that life, so i just stopped going out.
I will have a drink on a Friday lunch with a few guys from work, but non of them ever really contact me outside work unless they need help with a job.
 

RxR

RxR

Soldato
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Australia
I've heard it said that "if a friend can't tell you off, they aren't worth having".

But what if you are better at telling yourself off?
 
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Associate
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18 Oct 2002
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797
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Manchester
I agree that in some cases you only have yourself to blame - this is the case with me. I am not friend material I often make a conscious decision to not become familiar friendly with people

. As such I have no one to blame except me when I feel lonely or isolated. The only good thing for me is I have a wife of 30 yrs ( God knows how she has tolerated me) and a Sister who I know I can always rely on to be there, again I have no idea why.
 
Associate
Joined
29 May 2003
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2,038
Location
Cambridge
Reading this thread has actually made me feel relatively 'normal' again! Normal in that I have very few friends, but those I do have are the sort who have been friends for years and if we do go ages between seeing or speaking to each other, when we eventually do we just sort of seem to pick up where we left off. Very much quality over quantity.

I think a lot of it just comes with being - supposedly :p - an adult and your lives, careers etc. going in different directions. I had first-hand experience of that in August this year when I met up with an old mate who was one of our crowd from my teenage years - we literally hadn't set eyes on each other for not far off 30 years. Turned out he's still got the same sense of humour we had when we were younger despite a meteoric (compared to mine anyway) career rise that saw him living on the other side of the country. He comes back to Cambridge several times a year to visit his Mum, who still lives in the same village we did when we were teenagers, so it will become a regular thing from now on. Was great to find he's essentially the same bloke, as I've had at least one [former] friend who turned into a pompous ******** the moment he went to University.

In reality, the break-up of my marriage has been the catalyst for reconnecting with a lot of old friends - in a lot of cases, it was them reaching out to me having heard on the grapevine that I was having a rough time of it. Ironic that the loss of someone I considered my best friend (my ex-wife) has led to the reconnection of friendships that I'd neglected, albeit unintentionally, during the 25+ years I was with her.

So-called 'social' media plays its part too - one of my Facebook friends has over 1000 friends according to her profile, although I'd bet if it was to be studied, only a tiny percentage of those ever respond to anything she posts. It's meaningless and absolute B.S. by the time you get to my age, but I can understand the peer pressure or feelings of inferiority that it would create in someone in their teens or 20's.
 
Soldato
Joined
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England
I say being normal is relative to the individual & not the viewer. Not to berate Einstein :D
Normal is what makes you happy so long as you or no one else is being harmed.
I found taking a personality test helped me understand why I behave the way I do, a good test is the Myers Briggs 16 types. Just search for myers briggs humanmetrics test
 
Associate
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13 Jul 2005
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Devon
You don't want to be in my situation, I totally cocked up. Got someone pregnant when I was 22, my lifestyle style wasn't a healthy one, the girlfriend said it was her and the child but not including my mates, As my lifestyle wasn't a good healthy one I went with loosing contact with my mates. All was good, 18 years later my girlfriend goes all weird on me, enough is enough I had to walk away.

Now I don't have any mates the ones I had when I was 22 have moved away. So I now have to start fresh.

I was totally happy just being with the girlfriend and my daughter. But now I know I messed up. My life is **** at the moment but eventually I will be happy again whenever I meet someone I'm not making the mistake of concentrating on just me and the girlfriend.

On a side not how come you split up with someone and the ex is now even nastier towards me than when we were together.
 
Soldato
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Oldham
I've noticed when coming out of a relationship it can be very difficult to pick back up with friends. Even if you do have friends you can talk to it can still be very difficult emotionally and confidence-wise. The problem with relationships is they can take over your identity, and when the relationship fog goes suddenly you only have the identity you had before the relationship started. So its easy to feel disjointed. I know I've felt that recently with a relationship suddenly went downhill. I have 2 family members who have got in to some really bad places after their relationships crashed.

I suspect this is a very common situation, being left with few or no friends. Isn't there any tinder-like apps for friendship?
 
Soldato
Joined
2 May 2011
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Woking
I know one bloke I could talk to but he's so blue pill I find it difficult & have to pretend to fit in, so no friends & no family barring an unpleasant brother I cut out years ago.
It seems the older I'm getting the more confident & capable I'm getting at socialising but have less people I could genuinely speak to, which is zero atm.
Be funny if I got married as there would be no one on my side of the church :eek: & probably no one would come my funeral.

Although, being red pill the number of descent women out there is very low so I've been single for years. I could date but I know I'll just be worse off after a few months & yearn for me-time.
I'm into self improvement such as intermittent fasting & don't use pron & even tried nofap… There are many benefits to this lifestyle that would be wiped out if married or dating as it's all about serving the woman then, of which most don't give much in return so what's the point? I was chatting with a hot 22yr old recently (I'm 47) & one of her eyebrows started pealing off, such a shame!

As an INFJ type personality I want to help people but every time I've tried to help someone they've taken advantage. I totally understand why Keanu Reeves who's also INFJ could date a super-model but instead stayed single for ages & is now dating an older artist who's not that pretty.
With being introverted means just having to go MacDonald's for breakfast Saturday morning & I'm good to be on my own all weekend.
I find it really annoying & exhausting when an extrovert tries to talk to you about absolutely nothing but I know they're only doing it because they need to. I still think they're a succubus though :D

Unless you have a social issue that's stopping you interacting with people then if you like being on your own then so what. Be happy in who you are :cool: but remember everyone is different & no one is better than anyone else.

Multiple things here. All this red pill blue pill stuff is rubbish! Stop reading incel forums.

You are who you are, so get out there and be yourself.

No fap and no porn and that rubbish again is incel BS. Those people are idiots.

The Myers-Briggs test is generally regarded as rubbish. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers–Briggs_Type_Indicator#Criticism

Keanu Reeves probably stayed single because he lost his wife in traumatic circumstances and probably found it difficult to form attachments to people because the same thing might happen again.

Extroverts aren't all succubuses. Everyone is different. As you say yourself, everyone is different and no one is better than anyone else.

Stop reading incel ****.
 
Soldato
Joined
1 Dec 2011
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21,226
Location
SW3
I know one bloke I could talk to but he's so blue pill I find it difficult & have to pretend to fit in, so no friends & no family barring an unpleasant brother I cut out years ago.
It seems the older I'm getting the more confident & capable I'm getting at socialising but have less people I could genuinely speak to, which is zero atm.
Be funny if I got married as there would be no one on my side of the church :eek: & probably no one would come my funeral.

Although, being red pill the number of descent women out there is very low so I've been single for years. I could date but I know I'll just be worse off after a few months & yearn for me-time.
I'm into self improvement such as intermittent fasting & don't use pron & even tried nofap… There are many benefits to this lifestyle that would be wiped out if married or dating as it's all about serving the woman then, of which most don't give much in return so what's the point? I was chatting with a hot 22yr old recently (I'm 47) & one of her eyebrows started pealing off, such a shame!

As an INFJ type personality I want to help people but every time I've tried to help someone they've taken advantage. I totally understand why Keanu Reeves who's also INFJ could date a super-model but instead stayed single for ages & is now dating an older artist who's not that pretty.
With being introverted means just having to go MacDonald's for breakfast Saturday morning & I'm good to be on my own all weekend.
I find it really annoying & exhausting when an extrovert tries to talk to you about absolutely nothing but I know they're only doing it because they need to. I still think they're a succubus though :D

Unless you have a social issue that's stopping you interacting with people then if you like being on your own then so what. Be happy in who you are :cool: but remember everyone is different & no one is better than anyone else.
90% of this post is just ********, what’s this red pill blue pill nonsense about?

I think it’s best you stay single spouting ******** like this.
 
Soldato
Joined
9 Jul 2003
Posts
9,595

Ignore the childish animation this channel is always worth a watch and the relationship between being grateful and social cohesion is an interesting point.

And yes stop reading incel nonsense, negativity breeds negativity so its no wonder those groups become a cesspit of despair.
 
Caporegime
Joined
22 Oct 2002
Posts
26,812
Location
Boston, Lincolnshire
I have a couple that I would call friends but even still I will meet them a couple of times a year at most. I have a wife and two kids. That keeps me busy more than enough. I also like my own space and the wife understands that.

Don't get me wrong I show my face at Christmas parties and such and will happily socialize in the work place but not make an effort to do things outside. I have worked in the same place for the past twelves years across 3 different area's and have only 3 friends that I socialize with outside work.
 
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