Does anyone else have no friends?

Soldato
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Ignore the childish animation this channel is always worth a watch and the relationship between being grateful and social cohesion is an interesting point.

I do feel grateful it is true, but that makes me nervous and agitated.

I burn bridges, even ones i am standing on.
 
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Associate
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I was just reading this article and thought of this thread.

The epidemic of middle-aged men with NO friends: Man, 52, admits he's lonely in viral video that resonates with thousands of others
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/...-goes-viral-admitting-lonely-brave-video.html

Just reading the comments on there, seems a fairly common scenario that bloke gets GF or gets married, thinks he doesn’t need his mates anymore, and then it all goes **** up and suddenly they’re lonely. Even seen it in my own circles. When I got together with my GF, I made it clear that I would see my mates at least once a week. Maybe not always at all times, but I would do that. She didn’t like it at first. 11 years later, she virtually kicks me out of the door :D I think if you want to have mates you’ve got to put the effort in. It doesn’t just come to you on a plate. Even then, I don’t have dozens of mates, probably about 6 really good mates, and a fair few acquaintances.
 
Soldato
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I have friends, but pretty much, in fact, all of them are people I have met online over the years, and the majority don't live locally so see them 2-3 times a year. Doesn't bother me to be honest, I'm quite fond of my own company. Not the sort to want to go out every week.
 
Soldato
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Just reading the comments on there, seems a fairly common scenario that bloke gets GF or gets married, thinks he doesn’t need his mates anymore, and then it all goes **** up and suddenly they’re lonely. Even seen it in my own circles. When I got together with my GF, I made it clear that I would see my mates at least once a week. Maybe not always at all times, but I would do that. She didn’t like it at first. 11 years later, she virtually kicks me out of the door :D I think if you want to have mates you’ve got to put the effort in. It doesn’t just come to you on a plate. Even then, I don’t have dozens of mates, probably about 6 really good mates, and a fair few acquaintances.

I think this is exactly it.

I've noticed on facebook that when a guy gets with a girl, suddenly shes changing his account name to include hers, and or creating a new account name for them both. Then she'll not invite certain people. I've lost "friends", even family members on facebook for that reason. I don't think many guys can see how manipulative it is, until the dream turns to a nightmare and now they are back on their lonesome and find friends have disappeared.
 
Soldato
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I think this is exactly it.

I've noticed on facebook that when a guy gets with a girl, suddenly shes changing his account name to include hers, and or creating a new account name for them both. Then she'll not invite certain people. I've lost "friends", even family members on facebook for that reason. I don't think many guys can see how manipulative it is, until the dream turns to a nightmare and now they are back on their lonesome and find friends have disappeared.
That sounds bonkers!
 

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Soldato
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Wishaw
lost touch with all my close mates when i relocated east coast to west coast.

pretty much have a wife who tolerates me kids who may or may not notice if i were to die depending what was trending on tiktok at that particular moment, and then i have dogs :)
whatever anyone says its spot on that dogs are a mans best friend. need someone to talk to ? Dog, need an exercise buddy? Dog. want someone to curl up on the couch with and eat dog biscuits err well that could be kids or the dogs in fairness.

in all seriousness though its not a great position to be in i actually wish i had some proper hobbys to actually get out and make some new friends but between work and family theres never enough hours in the day it seems
 
Soldato
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I have a handful of friends that I see every month or so for a night out, and a bunch of acquaintances that I'm forced to be sociable with; cos of work. Suits me, however I still feel like a loner.
 
Associate
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Ok, this is going to be a little odd and sound a little Emo but..

Up until the age of 10 I had friends, but I was a book worm. I played out but was happier inside reading. Birthday parties were always mental as the whole school came round, used to go out on our BMX's etc.

In school I was part of the popular group, as well as the geeky people, had loads of friends, some good friends.

My wife and I got together at 15, and it is 20 years together next march, which means it's 17 years since we left college.

I've had many jobs since then, some short term to start but only 3 in the last 10 years. Longest was 7 years and I don't think I walked away with one real friend.

I've a mate Chris who I met as we had kids at the same time, we text a few times a month, but he's a mate really. As a couple we're out at Christmas with other couples, we have couple friends we do stuff with, Christmas parties, BBQ's, nights out 4 or 5 times a year. People seem to like us, we're always having a laugh when we do meet others, people come to me for advice or help, people seem to like me.

I work, I'm a dad, a husband, I sleep. That is how it goes. I can be someone's rock in times of need, but I also get times where I just can't be bothered with the BS that comes out of people.

No one just turns up at our house other than family, we don't turn up at others homes. if I needed somewhere to crash i have no idea where I'd go. Hell, I didn't even have a stag do 7 years ago because I didn't have anyone to invite, just made excuses to not have one.

Is it just me that's like this? Is it a result of today's society that people don't have those close friendships anymore? is it a geeky thing where I've spent too long in front of a keyboard I've forgotten 'how to friend' :) Am I just odd?

(I've just watched "I love you man" and it really struck a cord)

I think it's that the UK as a whole lives such a busy life people eventually become less acquainted and more with work/ family/ kids.

When I meet up with who I still call my mates, we take off where we left off. It's never awkward and we are all still the same people inside.

I think a lot of men struggle with this, I still do tbh, but it's what happens. I think men always want male companionship, nothing like it and nothing can replace it.
 
Associate
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My advice don't have a crazy life when you are young and don't get involved with a bit of a mixed up person, My problem was I got drunk one night and had sex with someone I didn't really know and bang she was pregnant. My life ended from that point. Now 18 years later I have to start fresh.
 
Soldato
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My advice don't have a crazy life when you are young and don't get involved with a bit of a mixed up person, My problem was I got drunk one night and had sex with someone I didn't really know and bang she was pregnant. My life ended from that point. Now 18 years later I have to start fresh.

Wise words!
 
Soldato
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My advice don't have a crazy life when you are young and don't get involved with a bit of a mixed up person, My problem was I got drunk one night and had sex with someone I didn't really know and bang she was pregnant. My life ended from that point. Now 18 years later I have to start fresh.
This is my greatest fear
 
Soldato
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London
I have so many friends who are starting from scratch in their 40s and 50s because they put their dick in the wrong person. It's depressing :D

It's odd how I used to have social circles of about 30+ people per group but now I only have 4 people I would call proper friends. Another 5 I would call dependable acquaintances. As you get older, other people just seem like a lot of hassle IMO :p
 
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