Best post of this (about to end) decade?

Zefan

Zefan

Zefan

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peterwalkley said:
The fruit ninja from one of Mag's anonymous confessions threads.
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Yes. This destroyed me. Let me find it.


:edit: here it is, in all its glory.

[FnG]magnolia said:
I've been fighting myself, wondering if I should share this story....here goes nothing...

I share an office with a guy. Let's call this guy Simon. Simon likes to go for long 30 min poo's. When he leaves the office for a poo, it's obvious to me that he's going for a poo as he takes his Andrex wet wipes with him, which he keeps in his desk drawer.

Here's where the fun begins.

10 mins after he leaves for his poo, I also leave to go to the gents toilet. However I also take with me a piece of fruit. Sometimes it's a clementine. Sometimes an orange. This one time, though strictly not a fruit, I took an avocado.

When I go to the toilet, I take my leak, clean my piece, wash my hands and leave.

BUT, and a big BUT, just before I leave, I roll a piece of fruit under his cubicle door.

Why? Because it's hilarious. The first time I did it he said "excuse me mate, you've dropped your orange" and rolled it back underneath his cubicle door, not knowing who was there. I promptly rolled it back to his cubicle!! :D He was so confused! :D

The second time I did it I tossed a banana over his cubicle door. His response was "FFS mate, sort it out". He then flung the banana back over his toilet door. I flung the banana back, he shouted, and I legged it.

He's told everyone that sometimes he goes to the toilet someone throws fruit over. He doesn't know what to do. He tried changing where he poo's. However I've always sussed it out, and fruit abused him.

Things were getting hot, and he started complaining about it a lot. He asked people in my office to keep an eye out for any one leaving with fruit. So I laid low for 2 months. Just when he thought the mystery fruit man had stopped, I started doing it again! :D

HA HA HA HA HA

I'm challenging myself to lob over a microwave pack of mac and cheese. I think it might be too much. Though I'm struggling to see how I'll get away with leaving the office with a mac and cheese packet without being caught.

Ideas are welcome! :D





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Sent using GuerrillaMail.com
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[FnG]magnolia said:
Fruit ninja here,

Thank you all for the feedback.

Some background: Simon and I work in the same office. We're not pals or anything. We make small talk when we bump into each other in the kitchen. In fact, he has vented to me on occasion that "someone is winding him up" by throwing fruit and vegetables in his toilet cubicle.

He suspects his neighbor who occupies the desk next to him.

Obviously things are quite hot - lots of people are on the lookout for people who take items with them into the toilets. Lots of people are being accused. Mass hysteria is an issue. It's a hot topic in the office right now.

The last time I did anything was 2 weeks ago when I rolled an orange under his toilet door. He swore so much - I don't stick around too long to listen to the abuse. And I don't do it every time Simon goes to the toilet.

To alleviate concerns that this is made up, I'm going to try and film it. Obviously I will obfuscate information such as the company, the person, and meta data embedded in the video. I'm going to think hard about this as obviously I want some fun (it's hilarious I can assure you) but I don't want to lose my job.

I'm thinking - THINKING of telling my desk neighbor I am the fruit ninja and asking for his help to film me the next time I do it. He's 19, young, and always showing me prankster videos on his phone so it might go down well with him.

I need to first determine if I can trust him.

Advice on how to proceed? Stop while I'm ahead?
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dowie

dowie

dowie

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One of these, from my biggest fan on here:

I first encountered him in this thread after posting a meme that seemed to trigger him:

dowie said:
And that's because chad isn't bothered that she didn't tell him loads of things about her or that they didn't have some deep conversation on the first date :D

QuCd7d9.jpg.png
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The above seemed to prompt this response:

bjorkiii said:
Dowies correct here as always. Just read what Dowie types and believe. Is it just me that cannot abide Dowie. Dowie whats your POF id , you want some crossdressing filth.
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:eek:

yikes...

I've since encountered the guy in a few other threads - first he thought I was a moderator:

bjorkiii said:
Dowie your the trump version of an overclockers mod apart from your 2 billion behind and you cant pull a porn actress. And your credibilty, views are decrepid , my view anyway.
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bjorkiii said:
Dowie needs revoving from moderating major topics, maybe a sub forum about marmalade or chilli based add ons in the food forum. I think he would do well on that sort of subject imo.
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:confused::confused::confused:

Then I get a random mention later on... - not sure what "dowie burgers" are:

bjorkiii said:
Heart attack incoming imo followed by civil war nuclear war . Im stocking up on noodles and them Dowie burgers just incase.
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Then there was something about my mother:

bjorkiii said:
Op is dowies mother nap.
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Not quite sure what that means???

and there are more....

bjorkiii said:
Dowies posts make me dubious about his posts , I haven't even read what Dowie posted btw.
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bjorkiii said:
Seeing as you found the article you should shave her Canadian balls Dowie. Perhaps a civil partnership and a evening buffet in Swanage . Good luck honey.
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bjorkiii said:
Robfosters rotty Dowie, Russian shills . All tories are inherently psychopathic, only concerned about themselves not the wider audience. It's like certain folks have been ingesting trump pills instead of prescribed medications.
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bjorkiii said:
Heard reports the assailant shouted this allu al Boris just before attack started then mumbled something about overclockers Gd and Dowie for for foreign secretary.
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bjorkiii said:
Got visions of Dowie slavering over laminated pictures of Boris in his bedroom :D. Dna everywere destroy comrade corbyn Boris I am not into fake news about you Boris, you will cure my insanity I have every faith in you to help me become Gd's leading nutcase.
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bjorkiii said:
Imagine Dowie's passing :( , the world won't be the same. General discussion's leading troll spam typist not being here is a terrible vision. Wonder if it will be declared a bank holiday.
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It all seems rather unhinged - he just pops up every so often and makes a random post mentioning me - doesn't engage in conversation.... just posts stuff like the above....
 

Dis86

Dis86

Dis86

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Northern England
dowie said:
One of these, from my biggest fan on here:

I first encountered him in this thread after posting a meme that seemed to trigger him:


The above seemed to prompt this response:



:eek:

yikes...

I've since encountered the guy in a few other threads - first he thought I was a moderator:





:confused::confused::confused:

Then I get a random mention later on... - not sure what "dowie burgers" are:



Then there was something about my mother:



Not quite sure what that means???

and there are more....


It all seems rather unhinged - he just pops up every so often and makes a random post mentioning me - doesn't engage in conversation.... just posts stuff like the above....
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I think he's your retarded alter ego. You're such an attention whore you've clearly spawned an alternative personality to provide for yourself.


Either that or he's just some kind of weirdo.
 

The_Abyss

The_Abyss

The_Abyss

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Best post title without a doubt: @dowie 's "Shave my balls bigot". However, the title flattered the subsequent content.

Best post and thread - the Gucci belt one. The sincerity in the face of weapons grade mockery, even weeks later, from the OP was astonishing. And shows why Gucci have customers.
 

Threepwood

Threepwood

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Monkey Island
Pick me! Pick me! Will I get a medal for best wind up of the decade? Oh I do hope so! :p

Edit/P.s Dowie: If you really want to carry it on... York is totally in Yorkshire even though it is a unitary authority, as it is totally surrounded by Yorkshire, just like there is a hole 'in' a ring doughnut.

Tralala.
 
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DampCat

DampCat

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The_Abyss said:
Best post and thread - the Gucci belt one. The sincerity in the face of weapons grade mockery, even weeks later, from the OP was astonishing. And shows why Gucci have customers.
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Gucci Belt was magick's biggest success. He's been a troll poster for years and was famous for his aliens post, so he goes off grid them comes back and smashes the board with Gucci Belt. I haven't seen a more successful troll in recent memory.
 
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