Selfishness

Soldato
Joined
27 Dec 2011
Posts
5,683
Not sure if this is a troll thread, but I'll play.

How do you go and buy dinner for two (presumably) and make it last two nights? Did you buy a/one dinner, or dinners?

Similarly, do you hate your missus? Can't imagine times are that tight if you're shopping at M&S for your dinner - just let her have it for her lunch you monster. It's not even a conversation piece. And to be fuming over it of it all things.

Sounds like the painters are in to me.

Now now, don't be mean to Guest2.
 
Associate
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
2,149
Location
Cambridge
So I got called selfish tonight by my girlfriend.
We went to M&S where I spent £16 on dinner. She asked if she could take leftovers for lunch to which I said no as planned to have tomorrow for both our dinners instead of spending more money. I then got called selfish
She pays towards food and I pay for other things - mortgage, bills, holidays and most lunch and restaurant meals.
I'm rather fuming so just needed a rant really

Does that sound selfish to you?

So you pay all the bills and for most of the leisure activities, and she only 'contributes' towards food? Playing devil's advocate, what else does she contribute towards in the relationship? Is she in education or some other circumstances preventing
her from getting a better paid job, in order to be able to contribute more equally?

I'm not saying it is worth ending your relationship over, but do be mindful of these circumstances should the relationship get more serious... a claim against the house, based on time living there etc.

In this circumstance, it does sound a little petty to quibble over £16, but is it indicative of a bigger issue? You dared to quibble over it and got called selfish; I bet if you then pointed out how much more you contribute to your mutual circumstances financially she'd somehow turn it around on you too...
 
Man of Honour
Joined
14 Apr 2017
Posts
3,511
Location
London
me and my ex (so im not one to advise} would put all the income in a joint currant account didnt matter how unequal the contributions were ,but also we were both thrifty £16 quid wouldn't be spent on food thats worth a couple of quid

See, this is where we differ, and I’m not saying that I’m right while you’re wrong.
If I see something that I want, and it’s £20, AND I’ve got £20 in my pocket, I’ll buy it, end of story.
I cba, neither do I wish to spend the time, in looking for something almost as good for £17.50.
 
Soldato
Joined
10 Jan 2007
Posts
4,862
Location
Warwickshire
Don't understand op shopping at M&S if he is so hard up he has to make one meal for 2 last two nights, and goes shopping at one of the most expensive food retailers in the UK.....
 
Soldato
Joined
25 Aug 2006
Posts
6,339
How much interest was that raisin?

lel.

Convo in my house probably would have gone...

"Can I take the leftovers for lunch tomorrow?"
"I was going to use it for tomorrow night's dinner, but you can take it if you like. What would you like for dinner tomorrow? Do you want to grab something on the way home?"
"Sure, thanks. I'll pick something up on the way home"

Done.

This.

I'd have said it was for tomorrow nights meal - what's the plan if you take it for lunch. Definitely not worth arguing about.
 
Soldato
Joined
9 Mar 2012
Posts
10,072
Location
West Sussex, England
No it doesn't sound selfish. Maybe she's a bit too comfortable being the recipient of an unequal financial arrangement, seems a bit of self entitlement creeping into things on her part. Maybe it wasn't made clear to her that you'd expect her to pick something up for dinner if she used the leftovers and that would most likely be more expensive than her buying a sandwich for lunch. Seems like either a bit of a misunderstanding that you were just trying to economise and keep within some sort of household budget or first warning signs of a gold digger.
 
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