I collect and train battletoads, AMA

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all right, i can't resist biting, how exactly does one train a toad for battle?

Mostly sparring with one another, usually whilst wearing heavy items of attire to increase their strength and endurance. In between sparring it will be a mixture of cardio and weightlifting, stilted more in favour of the latter.

What happened to Rash, Zitz and Pimple. Did they retire?

They retired from competition but each now have ambassadorial roles for the Intergalactic Battletoad Competition Commission, promoting the values of fair play, camaraderie and peace between frogs and toads. They occasionally write thought pieces for newspapers and sports magazines.
 
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They retired from competition but each now have ambassadorial roles for the Intergalactic Battletoad Competition Commission, promoting the values of fair play, camaraderie and peace between frogs and toads. They occasionally write thought pieces for newspapers and sports magazines.

Careful, some people round here think that weightlifting is terrible and will give you injuries.
 
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It is tradition for frogs to officiate santioned events, yes. Most of the animosity between frogs and toads since the great amphibian wars has subsided thanks to diplomatic efforts on both sides.

I bet there's some Romeo & Juliet type story that was spawned during those amphibian wars.

What are the rules on toxic attacks, or are the toxic abilities something I've just heard of? If true, surely that can make training quite a hard, pondering whether to push them further knowing they could just turn around and wipe their toxic secretions in your face because they have had enough of your slave driving....
 
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Amazing. Is there any footage of these battles for us to enjoy?

Goku needs a Vegeta sparring partner to help him reach his full potential.
 
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Careful, some people round here think that weightlifting is terrible and will give you injuries.

None of my toads are over age 45, so it's ok.

I bet there's some Romeo & Juliet type story that was spawned during those amphibian wars.

What are the rules on toxic attacks, or are the toxic abilities something I've just heard of? If true, surely that can make training quite a hard, pondering whether to push them further knowing they could just turn around and wipe their toxic secretions in your face because they have had enough of your slave driving....

There were rumours that Frogger maintained a harem of attractive young toads during his heyday, but I think it's all part and parcel of his legend. I've certainly never seen any evidence to confirm it.

Toxic attacks in competition are forbidden. A lot of the hard work in training battletoads is unlocking their unique special abilities, which can take months of meditation to achieve the required ability points. Goku, for example, took three weeks to learn his Turtle Energy Wave. The way I train my battletoads is with compassion and positive encouragement, I find it helps them develop as much more well-rounded battletoads. The Ik'lari of Andromeda tend to take a much more slave-driving approach and over centuries they have developed a second row of eyelids to protect them from a toad's toxic attacks. They even harvest the secreting glands of toads and use their toxins as a recreational drug.
 
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Yeah, I got a question... Where are all the female toads in this sport?

Based on the lack of females I presume that toads, like frogs, are capable of changing their sex... and that both Transexual and Intersex toads are thus allowed to compete in whichever gender category they want, without having to take suppressive medications?

Tony looks like he has had too much KFC.
Kentucky Fried Cricket, yeah?
 
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What is Tanks win ratio?

Goku at 98% feels like he should be your prized toad.

Tank is one of my oldest battletoads, I've had him since 2016 and so his 1.00 win ratio over more than a thousand sanctioned and non-sanctioned events is incredible. As Goku is a relatively new student of mine, he takes up more of my time for training, whereas Tank has the experience and discipline to self-direct most of the time. Tank probably has another season left in him before it will be time to think about handing the reigns over to Goku.
 
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Yeah, I got a question... Where are all the female toads in this sport?

Based on the lack of females I presume that toads, like frogs, are capable of changing their sex... and that both Transexual and Intersex toads are thus allowed to compete in whichever gender category they want, without having to take suppressive medications?


Kentucky Fried Cricket, yeah?

Battletoads are enlightened enough to allow inter-gender competition unencumbered by unenlightened human hangups. I've seen some of the female toads compete and they can easily hang tough with male toads of similar ability.
 
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1.) Please don't share this *****.
2.) The* Chinese really are disgusting cruel ****ed up people.

*some

(I did say, not for the squeamish and used spoiler tags - happy to delete if not appropriate though given past posts/threads involving say footage of human dying etc.. I'm assuming it is within rules given the warning etc..)
 
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I assume Creatine isn't recommended due to the dehydration effects on toads, so what alternative if any would you recommend?

I hear maximuscle, phd and myprotein are thinking of launching a special toad range later in the year.

Guess you can't beat a good old traditional diet of flies though.

Have you ever wondered if the reason Tony never seem to perform that well was due to his lower testosterone levels, due to the fact he spent many hours in the field with lady toads.
 
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